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Faithmom; your daughter sounds exactly like my daughter, who is 6. She reads at 8th grade level, but does not understand some things everyone else takes for granted, like expressions or jokes. She tries to hard to be liked, but makes very few friends. Thank God He moved her from her old school, (even though she is not with her brother anymoreNOT to say that we don't all need help in gaining coping skills with things in life that overwhelm us or pull us under.
BUT what if there is way too much diagnosing going on. What if tests and assessments are based on a perception of one or two personality types thinking all of the rest of us should be like them?
What if some of what others make us feel bad about in our personalities are perfectly normal for ourselves, and even necessary for the world to go around.
I have a daughter, who in kindergarden, had a teacher insist that she must be ADHD, even though she was having no achemic problems at all, only social not fitting in, and beginning to act out.
We took her to a child psych doctor (scary step) who (thank our Heavenly Father for the fact that the Dr. thinks this!), feels that teachers have no business applying lables to kids, and ran every assessment you can imagine on her. No ADHD, no ADD, no depression or social disorders. After all of that she said she had a mismatch between being emotionally immature compared to the kids in her class (summer birthday...the youngest), and being past most of them intellectually. That left her bored and out of touch with the other kids, and emotionally unable to deal with how that made her feel.
The Dr. gave us a book called "The Spiritted Child", and said if there was one thing we should take out of it is to become her advocates for our child, who will never fit the "norm" of what most teachers want, but is perfectly normal for her personality type and abilities. She gave our daughter some fun books to read on when others made her feel bad, and how to express those feelings.
Eventually, after another teacher (3 years later) at that school began to scapegoat her terribly (even allowing other kids to bully and belittle her). Advocating went so far as to switch her from that school. She is now in the Gifted & Talented programming at the current school. The funny thing is that her current teacher says it is like looking at herself 20 years ago. My daughter worships the ground that teacher walks on. And the way the teacher perceives her has allowed my daughter to be seen as an important part of her class.
Now, not only does she have friends, she has her first best friend ever. At her last school she was considered to be a loner, though all she ever tried desparately for was to be included
. She is 9 years old.
I know this was lengthy, but I think often, we get negatively labled by others, and it affects everything from how we precieve ourselves to how others in that setting percieve us as well.
Many who apply "lables" are not even qualified to make that assessment of us, and may think that unless we change to fit the world as they picture it, something is wrong with us.
Deb, thank you for a thread that lets us see that though we are all different, and have varying strengths and weaknesses, that we all have a place in Creation, and that it is necessary for us to differ.
Be strong in who you are CF friends! God made you that way! Cope with your weaknesses, and use your strengths to make your world a better place!
) because the teacher she had was getting exasperated with her and this new one is so much more patient, and is trying hard to help her fit in, along with a few more just like her in class!!!
NOT to say that we don't all need help in gaining coping skills with things in life that overwhelm us or pull us under.
BUT what if there is way too much diagnosing going on. What if tests and assessments are based on a perception of one or two personality types thinking all of the rest of us should be like them?
What if some of what others make us feel bad about in our personalities are perfectly normal for ourselves, and even necessary for the world to go around.
I have a daughter, who in kindergarden, had a teacher insist that she must be ADHD, even though she was having no achemic problems at all, only social not fitting in, and beginning to act out.
We took her to a child psych doctor (scary step) who (thank our Heavenly Father for the fact that the Dr. thinks this!), feels that teachers have no business applying lables to kids, and ran every assessment you can imagine on her. No ADHD, no ADD, no depression or social disorders. After all of that she said she had a mismatch between being emotionally immature compared to the kids in her class (summer birthday...the youngest), and being past most of them intellectually. That left her bored and out of touch with the other kids, and emotionally unable to deal with how that made her feel.
The Dr. gave us a book called "The Spiritted Child", and said if there was one thing we should take out of it is to become her advocates for our child, who will never fit the "norm" of what most teachers want, but is perfectly normal for her personality type and abilities. She gave our daughter some fun books to read on when others made her feel bad, and how to express those feelings.
Eventually, after another teacher (3 years later) at that school began to scapegoat her terribly (even allowing other kids to bully and belittle her). Advocating went so far as to switch her from that school. She is now in the Gifted & Talented programming at the current school. The funny thing is that her current teacher says it is like looking at herself 20 years ago. My daughter worships the ground that teacher walks on. And the way the teacher perceives her has allowed my daughter to be seen as an important part of her class.
Now, not only does she have friends, she has her first best friend ever
I know this was lengthy, but I think often, we get negatively labled by others, and it affects everything from how we precieve ourselves to how others in that setting percieve us as well.
Many who apply "lables" are not even qualified to make that assessment of us, and may think that unless we change to fit the world as they picture it, something is wrong with us.
Deb, thank you for a thread that lets us see that though we are all different, and have varying strengths and weaknesses, that we all have a place in Creation, and that it is necessary for us to differ.
Be strong in who you are CF friends! God made you that way! Cope with your weaknesses, and use your strengths to make your world a better place!
Ok, here we go again.
Next we'll do the weaknesses of the Choleric.
The most prominent weaknesses of the Cholerics are their hard, angry, impetuous, self-sufficient traits.
Cholerics have serious emotional deficiencies. Compassion is foreign to them and they tend to be thick-skinned and unsympathetic toward other people, their dreams, accomplishments and needs. They have a tendency to look on the sympathetic response of the Sanguine as "sentimental drivel".
Much of the energy that propels the Choleric toward the attainment of their goal is generated from their hot-tempered disposition. They can become violently angry, and even after exploding his wrath upon those objects of their displeasure will continue to carry a grudge. They have been known to be very revengeful, going to almost any lengths to repay someone for an injustice done them. This angry disposition causes them much discomfort in life and can make them an undesirable person to be around. Physically they are prone to nurse an ulcer before they are forty and spiritually they grieve the Holy Spirit through bitterness, wrath and anger.
There is a strange streak of sheer cruelty in Cholerics that makes them run roughshod over the feelings and rights of others in their effort to achieve their purpose. Unless they have a strong moral standard, they will not hesitate to break the law or resort to any crafty means necessary to succeed.
The Cholerics ability to be decisive also produces an impetuous tendency that causes them to get into trouble and launch programs that they are later sorry for. However, because they are so proud. they stubbornly and tenaciously see them though. It is very difficult for them to apologize and many times they will blurt out cruel, blunt and sarcastic statements that are very cutting. It is very difficult for them to show approval. They are very good at showing their disapproval.
Success can make Cholerics proud, haughty, and domineering to the point where they become very obnoxious. In spite of their capabilities, these tendencies become boring to other people and, by contrast, gives them the frustrating feeling that they can never please the Choleric.
Unless they surrender their life to Jesus when children, it is probably more difficult to reach a Choleric person spiritually than any other in adulthood. Even after conversion, Cholerics have a difficult time realizing that they must depend upon the Lord. When he tries to read the Bible and pray, their active mind easily leaps to planning their day's activities and sometimes looks on a devotional life as being impractical and a waste of time. Of all the temperaments, they probably have the greastest number of spiritual needs, which are love, peace, gentleness, long-suffering, meekness and goodness.
