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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Stuck in the dark..
- Thread starter Ephesians 5:2
- Start date
JdwB10
Taken by the love of my life
- Mar 12, 2009
- 82
- 6
- Faith
- Pentecostal
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
- Politics
- US-Republican
This is not very easy to type, but this is my personal opinion. 2 decades ago, you met your current housemate and made a commitment with her. Maybe not a marriage commitment, but a commitment nonetheless. You moved in together, and had a relationship. Her son having children, from what I understood, was what began to tear you two apart. Firstly, taking on her son's children should have been discussed beforehand. Obviously there are things that can not be forseen in any way, but that is something huge. Since she just assumed you'd be fine, a discussion would have been better. However, since this(I think) is HER home,(correct me if I'm wrong) then it really wasn't your say, unless there was some kind of stipulating contract.
This is my point: you made a commitment with her. Moved in together. She now depends on your disability and food stamps. You have lived with her for many, many years. To up and leave, just because you feel you have the right to love, is wrong. You should have weighed the consequences to the idea of moving in with a woman who isn't the go out and get a job type. Since you had feelings for her back then, and probably thought those feelings would be there forever, you went ahead and moved in with her. Now you're also disabled, and she can't get work.
Obviously the choice is yours. In my mind the first thing wrong with this is that you moved in with her in the first place, without marrying her, because now there's no accountability to your relationship. What probably COULD have been a salvagable relationship, isn't any longer because there was no binding. Hence the reason you went looking for love elsewhere. Which is the second thing I see wrong. Because now you're faced with a completely horrible situation. You feel you have the right to love, but the woman you're housing with has the right to the same thing. Wether or not you think it's possible(and it may not be possible) the right thing to have done BEFORE finding love in another woman, would have been to try and reconcile. I think you should still try and reconcile. NOTHING is impossible with God.
Now, you have feelings for another woman, yet another problem, only she lives in Israel. I DO NOT agree with your moving there. In my opinion it would be a completely selfish thing to do. You have, however, already reserved a ticket. And the choice is, ultimately, yours. I'm very disturbed that you care more about hurting a woman you've never even met in person before, than you do completely abandoning a woman who can't even provide for herself. Which do you think you'd hurt more?
You choose, of course, but you came on to get other's opinions. This is mine; stay where you are. Try to reconcile your relationship with the woman you're with. There was obviously something there that brought you two together in the first place, so there's no reason why that can't be rekindled. As hard as that may be to accept, I would say to try it. Pray and ask God to reconcile your relationship. Nothing is impossible through Him.
This is my point: you made a commitment with her. Moved in together. She now depends on your disability and food stamps. You have lived with her for many, many years. To up and leave, just because you feel you have the right to love, is wrong. You should have weighed the consequences to the idea of moving in with a woman who isn't the go out and get a job type. Since you had feelings for her back then, and probably thought those feelings would be there forever, you went ahead and moved in with her. Now you're also disabled, and she can't get work.
Obviously the choice is yours. In my mind the first thing wrong with this is that you moved in with her in the first place, without marrying her, because now there's no accountability to your relationship. What probably COULD have been a salvagable relationship, isn't any longer because there was no binding. Hence the reason you went looking for love elsewhere. Which is the second thing I see wrong. Because now you're faced with a completely horrible situation. You feel you have the right to love, but the woman you're housing with has the right to the same thing. Wether or not you think it's possible(and it may not be possible) the right thing to have done BEFORE finding love in another woman, would have been to try and reconcile. I think you should still try and reconcile. NOTHING is impossible with God.
Now, you have feelings for another woman, yet another problem, only she lives in Israel. I DO NOT agree with your moving there. In my opinion it would be a completely selfish thing to do. You have, however, already reserved a ticket. And the choice is, ultimately, yours. I'm very disturbed that you care more about hurting a woman you've never even met in person before, than you do completely abandoning a woman who can't even provide for herself. Which do you think you'd hurt more?
You choose, of course, but you came on to get other's opinions. This is mine; stay where you are. Try to reconcile your relationship with the woman you're with. There was obviously something there that brought you two together in the first place, so there's no reason why that can't be rekindled. As hard as that may be to accept, I would say to try it. Pray and ask God to reconcile your relationship. Nothing is impossible through Him.
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JdwB10
Taken by the love of my life
- Mar 12, 2009
- 82
- 6
- Faith
- Pentecostal
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
- Politics
- US-Republican
Okay. That makes things a little easier to understand.
In this case, I would say this: if you two have some kind of binding contract, recognized by the law, that stipulates a certain time you'd live togethr, then I would advise you to stay where you're at. However, the woman you're housing with definitely needs to get a job. You don't need skills to work at a place like Wal-Mart, or a fast food place like McDonalds. True, the economy is suffering, but there are still jobs out there waiting to be filled. However, she sounds as though she is bound and determined to never get a job. If that is the case, she's only using you to get your disability. And that is entirely wrong.
My new piece of advice is this: if you have any money saved up, leave her a portion of it(enough to last her at least a few weeks to a month, since it does take time to find a job), and make plans to leave. (If there's no contract, mind you.) Unless she was physically unable to work, then there's no reason for her to not get out there and provide for herself. You two never married, so you do not have to be her primary provider. Don't leave her up and dry, leave a bit for her so she won't suffer as bad financially, and then once you feel you've saved up enough to give to her, give her the money, and then I would advise you to leave.
If you feel you can go to Israel, go to Israel. That is your choice. But the woman you're with obviously doesn't want you ther any more than you want to be there, and is only using you to get your disaibility. If she is perfectly capable of getting a job, then she needs to do so. God isn't going to honor her for waiting for the raputure on her butt. She needs to get out and be a witness in the work place.
I hope this helps.
In this case, I would say this: if you two have some kind of binding contract, recognized by the law, that stipulates a certain time you'd live togethr, then I would advise you to stay where you're at. However, the woman you're housing with definitely needs to get a job. You don't need skills to work at a place like Wal-Mart, or a fast food place like McDonalds. True, the economy is suffering, but there are still jobs out there waiting to be filled. However, she sounds as though she is bound and determined to never get a job. If that is the case, she's only using you to get your disability. And that is entirely wrong.
My new piece of advice is this: if you have any money saved up, leave her a portion of it(enough to last her at least a few weeks to a month, since it does take time to find a job), and make plans to leave. (If there's no contract, mind you.) Unless she was physically unable to work, then there's no reason for her to not get out there and provide for herself. You two never married, so you do not have to be her primary provider. Don't leave her up and dry, leave a bit for her so she won't suffer as bad financially, and then once you feel you've saved up enough to give to her, give her the money, and then I would advise you to leave.
If you feel you can go to Israel, go to Israel. That is your choice. But the woman you're with obviously doesn't want you ther any more than you want to be there, and is only using you to get your disaibility. If she is perfectly capable of getting a job, then she needs to do so. God isn't going to honor her for waiting for the raputure on her butt. She needs to get out and be a witness in the work place.
I hope this helps.
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In this case, I would say this: if you two have some kind of binding contract, recognized by the law, that stipulates a certain time you'd live togethr, then I would advise you to stay where you're at. However, the woman you're housing with definitely needs to get a job. You don't need skills to work at a place like Wal-Mart, or a fast food place like McDonalds. True, the economy is suffering, but there are still jobs out there waiting to be filled. However, she sounds as though she is bound and determined to never get a job. If that is the case, she's only using you to get your disability.
If you feel you can go to Israel, go to Israel.
I am 68% sure i'll go to Israel.
If you feel you can go to Israel, go to Israel.
I am 68% sure i'll go to Israel.
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