Stuck in suburbia. Need out. Help.

[SaintJaques]

My relationship with God is fine, now. I don't need prayer, I don't need meditation. What I need is a physical escape from other humans, society, routines, and the horrible task of medial conversation.

Have any of you ever seen the movie Into the Wild? I need that. I need an escape. To get away from everything. I need a radical change in my life. This weekend, tomorrow morning at five in the morning, I was going to drive with my mother, who lives in Arizona (I live in California), to Oregon for three weeks in a little town of 700 people in a log cabin in the woods. She threw her back out about three hours ago and can't even stand up. The trip has been postponed for a month, when our adventure will be by plane and will include my younger sibilngs and my father (they're divorced and currently have significant others... doesn't sound a little bit wrong?). We'll be staying in a hotel in the heart of Portland. Sounds like a real getaway, huh?

Every single one of my friends have been to France, Italy, Spain, and Japan. These are people who enjoy, who LOVE the company of other people and earthly pleasures. These are people who travel just because they can, because their parents have a six-digit salary and spend two-thirds of the year "on vacation". My dad finished one semester of community college, then had me with my mother when he was two years older than I am now. Can't say I'm as fortunate as everybody else. If anything, my parents' foolish decision (actually, accident, I found this out about six months ago) has hindered my family as a whole.

I can't take this city anymore. I can't take suburban homes, shopping malls, gas stations, grocery stores, post offices, seeing the same people I went to grade school with on a daily basis, eating "fresh" food that comes in a can, bickering over small amounts of money to pay to ride a bus that smells like milk and feet for two hours to a place that takes fifteen minutes to drive to, clothing stores selling over-priced shirts made by children in sweatshops of third-world countries, I'M SO TIRED OF IT.

I know I'm more fortunate than so many people to be where I am and to have what I have, and I am grateful... in a sense. I don't really need most of it, I don't really want most of it. Again, this has nothing to do with God. He and I are cool. If anything, leaving this place with strengthen my relationship with God. But humanity and I have our problems, and we need some space.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

Don't worry about what others have, instead be happy for them. The thing with vacations and retreats is that you always have to come back.

I understand where you are coming from. What I'd do is sit down, pray and think about why you feel like you do. Try to find out if it's the place or if it's you or something else that's making you feel this way. If it's the place then the remedy is quite simple, time to move! If it's something else then moving won't do much good. If you feel you, as a person, are stuck, then you'll have to think of something that will help you move forward.

The fact that you feel this way isn't necessarily a bad thing, it might just be time for change. Of course, I don't know how old you are, how long you have been feeling like this, etc. This might just be a passing phase too. But, sit down, think, pray and see what options you have. I bet you will find that there are many more options available than just rotting away and being miserable!

 

[Divinah]

I know your really seeking retreat and it seems your just getting cycled into more "stuff". BUT, it will be change...and so much to see and experience. So maybe embrace the idea and trust God that you will have the peace you need...Grace that is of HIM, wherever you are.

I do pray this.

Blessings, DVNA

 

[UnitynLove]

Have things improved sister??

 

[Exodus1513]

If you are over 18, you can literally buy a Greyhound ticket, hop a bus with a packed bag and move. Not the safest or wisest of choices, but you could just pick a number and go to that place.