Stuck and needing to let go and let God.

[AussiePat83]

Hi everyone,

To put my story into a short one is difficult but for your sake ill make it quick...

- Wife and I have been married 2 years (together 6) both christian (both 29 yrs old)
- We move from Australia to Hong Kong at the beginning of this year together for what was suppose to be a massive career move for me.
- Once in HK I find out my wife has had an affair with co-worker for the previous 6 months.
- I beg my wife to stay with me and not leave me for him, she chooses to stay in HK and work on our marriage
- We get marriage councelling, make friends, things start to get better.
- 3 months ago, she tells me she still has feelings for coworker and those are causing her to not be able to fully move forward with me and she wants a separation to sort herself out (not to chase him as by then she realised he was a dead end and God shut that door)
- She left me and went home to Australia and we have been apart for 3 months.

I am absolutely devastated and I realise its an oppurtunity for me to grow and work on myself etc which I am. I am moving back to Australia (home) in 1 week and I am moving in with my parents as my wife cant even think about us getting back together as she is a mess. She is depressed, feeling guilty, shame and she hasnt even told anyone, not even her parents.... She isnt facing reality and right now she doesnt want me or my help.

What can I do?? Im desperate and I know that I need to trust God, and step aside and let him work, but how do I get through each day knowing my wife, someone who I am one with, is struggling so badly. I just want to pick her up and fix her. I am hurting badly too from her betrayal and I dont know where to begin with my healing... My Pastor has told me that I should take my focus off my marriage and just focus on my healing and let my wife go, and let God take care of the rest. Which is all good advice, I just dont know where to begin.. or how to let go of my wife, shes been my best friend for 6 years and now to just let her go, it sounds impossible....

Any help, whether it be advice or pray would be amazing and super appreciated!

 

[StoneFist]

i will pray for u

 

[justhappeneduponthis]

It appears that you must lay your marriage upon the altar. God is on the job in both cases. It hurts. Make doubly sure that your heart is in forgiveness mode.

Take Now Thy Son... http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=4718747186170269619&postID=6465567745672744261&from=pencil


“My Lord God, is that you,
This strange thing must I do;
In taking my dear son unto Moriah,
To have him harshly bound
And flung upon the ground,
A sacrifice consumed with holy fire?”

“Yes friend, that was my voice.
I’m giving you the choice
To render all according to my will.
The child you had from me,
And now I plan to see
If you intend to trust my wisdom still.”

We know the glad outcome,
Young Isaac rescued from
His father’s hand poised high with gleaming blade.
An angel halts the knife:
“Take not the young lad’s life.
Your precious faith in God has been displayed.”

And do we all not yearn
In each our ways to earn
The thrilling blessing of the Lord’s “well done”?
Who knows what test will try
Our mettle bye and bye,
In giving up a treasure, dream or son?

For no delight on earth
May jeopardize the worth
Of growing in the Lord’s love, hour by hour.
Perhaps He may require
That loved thing for the fire,
To give it back in resurrection power.

 

[dayhiker]

Yes, I agree lay it down, and see if your wife will let God resurrect her love for you and God will heal her mental health as well.

If she is this unstable mentally .. it might mean that you would have a lot of heart acke in your marriage, so it might not be what you fantasize it to be.

Get out and do some man things, go hiking, play some sports, go camping, find some guys to be friends with, you really need some good guy friends even if your marriage is restored.