Struggling?

[Gentle Lamb]

Does anyone struggle with anger as a character flaw/spiritual weakness? Especially if that was your learned response from childhood due to constantly being exposed to it in your environment? If so, how are you handling/addressing it in order to be more Christ like?

 

[Aaron112]

Note in Scripture the things God Says He Loves, and also what He Says He Hates - including those who are full of pervsion, those who perpetrate evil... and so on. To be Clear what God Himself Wants by what God Himself Says.

The struggle likewise is common to Christians since Scripture was written saying so.
The answer is in one of your own posts.>>>
"I would like to let you know that the walk of faith is not even easy for "mature Christians" and some people just pretend that everything is okay when it is not. I encourage you to repent of sins when you pray"

 

[Pop D.]

Can't claim I live by it perfectly myself, but Proverbs 15:1 comes to mind: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

 

[YCGP]

Less sugar.

 

[linux.poet]

Teenage me was a very angry lady, because my dad had taught me that anger always won. To some extent, that is true in terms of God's wrath against the unbeliever. God always wins because he is more powerful than us. Whether spending His wrath on His own Son or on unbelievers, He always wins.

Anger says: "This is wrong, this person who did this is a danger to whatever it is that I am protecting, and I need to win."

The next time anger comes around, I suggest checking each of those three parts. Has the person in question actually sinned against you? Does their sin actually endanger something important? (What are they endangering?) and finally, Do you actually need to win? Will winning really help?

If no to any of the three parts, your anger probably is baseless in current time. Your husband stealing a paperclip off your desk is not a battle that you need to win until you actually run out of paperclips - you don't need to win that. Your rude and disrespectful coworker is not really a danger to you, just a battle that you need to win by not losing your cool and calmly waiting for God's judgement to change their behavior. And finally, that bozo moderator on that online toy forum 10 years ago wasn't really wrong for banning you for having a nervous breakdown - that was your fault.

If all three of them check out, you still need to think about what your response should be and how best to win, which is different from the sin nature auto-suggestions that are frequently counterproductive. "Be angry but do not sin" (Ephesians 4:26). Often when I am angry, I withdraw from the situation and process what I am feeling and why before responding, which is kind of the first step in dealing with this. Withdrawal is especially useful with online encounters.

That's my best shot at general anger problems. If you have a relationship or group of people in your life that is continually provoking your anger, it may be worth writing down what is provoking your rage and taking a closer look at those relationships. It may be time to remove those people from your life, especially if they are a danger to you or causing real damage. Sometimes it's not you that has an anger problem, it's just they are not treating you well and you need new friends.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Does anyone struggle with anger as a character flaw/spiritual weakness? Especially if that was your learned response from childhood due to constantly being exposed to it in your environment? If so, how are you handling/addressing it in order to be more Christ like?

Don't sweat the small stuff?
Blessings

 

[Aaron112]

Embrace anger (not as a flaw, nor a sin).
Be Angry, And Sin Not. (righteously indignant) Daily, in line with God's Word, Harmony His Plan.

 

[timf]

Anger often has to do with frustrated expectations. For example, no one usually expects their shoelace to break. We can do better by lowering expectations. Being under a time crunch can also amplify anger. Adopting a slower pace can be helpful.

 

[turkle]

Anger is a natural response to a perceived wrong. When the Bible cautions us not to sin in anger, it is talking about our response to anger. If our typical behavior is to lash out, then we are in sin. Paul tells us that like Jesus, we are to have a gentle spirit. So the key is to tap into the fruit of the spirit of self control. When anger rises, pause to ask yourself what the other person is actually saying. Did you misunderstand? If so, step back and seek to understand. If they are being hateful, walk away. If it's about a situation, remember the God is in control. I find that an SOS prayer when I'm triggered keeps me from doing or saying something I will later regret.

 

[YCGP]

Anger is a natural response to a perceived wrong. When the Bible cautions us not to sin in anger, it is talking about our response to anger. If our typical behavior is to lash out, then we are in sin. Paul tells us that like Jesus, we are to have a gentle spirit. So the key is to tap into the fruit of the spirit of self control. When anger rises, pause to ask yourself what the other person is actually saying. Did you misunderstand? If so, step back and seek to understand. If they are being hateful, walk away. If it's about a situation, remember the God is in control. I find that an SOS prayer when I'm triggered keeps me from doing or saying something I will later regret.

Take full responsibility for your stuff and walk away. It's necessary for your marriage.

When you are triggered ask yourself if you have the same qualities you see in the other person. Do not you have the same confidence or good looks in even a small way? This will help.

 

[Simonides]

Does anyone struggle with anger as a character flaw/spiritual weakness? Especially if that was your learned response from childhood due to constantly being exposed to it in your environment? If so, how are you handling/addressing it in order to be more Christ like?

Yes I do, and my anger is also rooted in childhood trauma.

The first thing you do is repent. Turn from all outward sin. Receive by faith the deliverance which was purchased for you by the blood of Christ. I am not referring to indwelling sin, but the bondage of your will. Willful disobedience opens up the door to the enemy. Once that camel has his nose under your tent, it won't be long till he brings the whole thing down. A disciple of Christ should not be in bondage to anything. Plead the blood of Christ over your heart and mind. Seek and keep seeking, knock and keep knocking. Those who hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled. And righteousness is what you seek. Anger is not a sin. Unrighteous anger is a sin.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Thanks for all the words of wisdom and applicable advice, much appreciated everyone!

 

[RileyG]

Getting enough sleep, avoiding caffeine, and drinking lots of water.

 

[YCGP]

Yes I do, and my anger is also rooted in childhood trauma.

The first thing you do is repent. Turn from all outward sin. Receive by faith the deliverance which was purchased for you by the blood of Christ. I am not referring to indwelling sin, but the bondage of your will. Willful disobedience opens up the door to the enemy. Once that camel has his nose under your tent, it won't be long till he brings the whole thing down. A disciple of Christ should not be in bondage to anything. Plead the blood of Christ over your heart and mind. Seek and keep seeking, knock and keep knocking. Those who hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled. And righteousness is what you seek. Anger is not a sin. Unrighteous anger is a sin.

Could you please be a little more clear on what "unrighteous" anger is?

Thank you.

 

[YCGP]

All emotions are action signals to either change our perception or change our procedure. Either see your situation differently or do something that will make a difference for you and anyone else involved.

 

[Simonides]

Could you please be a little more clear on what "unrighteous" anger is?

Thank you.

Sure. Its self centered. Fearful, ungrateful, and entitled. It is rooted in pride and reactionary.