Struggling with doubts about faith and salvation

["Carson"]

For the past few weeks I've been dealing with persistent thoughts that deny the existence of God, deny the divinity of Jesus, or some form of blasphemy. I've these compulsive thoughts before, particularly on the subject of blasphemy. But now I feel like I'm at my wits end. I'm questioning where my thoughts end and where the compulsion begins. It almost feels as though I've lost my faith and I'm scared that I won't be able to come back to God. If I "came back" to God would I actually be with him again or would I have simply tricked myself? I'm not questioning God's existence on a rational level, mind you. Rather, it feels like I'm questioning everything. Can I still call myself a christian or are these thoughts of denial akin to denouncing my faith? Do I actually believe these thoughts . Throughout all of this I'm constantly reminded of Hebrews 6:4-6 and how it is impossible to come again to repentance. Sorry if this is a lot.

 

[HTacianas]

For the past few weeks I've been dealing with persistent thoughts that deny the existence of God, deny the divinity of Jesus, or some form of blasphemy. I've these compulsive thoughts before, particularly on the subject of blasphemy. But now I feel like I'm at my wits end. I'm questioning where my thoughts end and where the compulsion begins. It almost feels as though I've lost my faith and I'm scared that I won't be able to come back to God. If I "came back" to God would I actually be with him again or would I have simply tricked myself? I'm not questioning God's existence on a rational level, mind you. Rather, it feels like I'm questioning everything. Can I still call myself a christian or are these thoughts of denial akin to denouncing my faith? Do I actually believe these thoughts . Throughout all of this I'm constantly reminded of Hebrews 6:4-6 and how it is impossible to come again to repentance. Sorry if this is a lot.

If you decided right now that God doesn't exist how would your life change for the better?

 

[ColoRaydo]

“If faith never encounters doubt, if truth never struggles with error, if good never battles with evil, how can faith know its own power? In my own pilgrimage, if I have to choose between a faith that has stared doubt in the eye and made it blink, or a naïve faith that has never known the firing line of doubt, I will choose the former every time.”

Excerpt From
The Case for Faith
Lee Strobel
The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel on Apple Books
This material may be protected by copyright.

 

[WESTOZZIE]

Friend just skip over all that and look again at Jesus. He has not changed. He has no doubts about where you are.
Where are you?
You are in Christ...safely tucked into Jesus heart...inside the Father.

Col 3:2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.
Col 3:3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

All that reasoning you are encountering is just a useless diversion to get you to feel miserable.

The truth of what GOD HAS DONE for you does not change a bit. So just agree with God that you are His no matter what the doubts say.
It is God who saves us....you cannot save yourself...so stop taking all the responsibility upon yourself worrying that you can unsave yourself. God is holding you. Jesus lives in your heart. The rest is not real.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

For the past few weeks I've been dealing with persistent thoughts that deny the existence of God, deny the divinity of Jesus, or some form of blasphemy. I've these compulsive thoughts before, particularly on the subject of blasphemy. But now I feel like I'm at my wits end. I'm questioning where my thoughts end and where the compulsion begins. It almost feels as though I've lost my faith and I'm scared that I won't be able to come back to God. If I "came back" to God would I actually be with him again or would I have simply tricked myself? I'm not questioning God's existence on a rational level, mind you. Rather, it feels like I'm questioning everything. Can I still call myself a christian or are these thoughts of denial akin to denouncing my faith? Do I actually believe these thoughts . Throughout all of this I'm constantly reminded of Hebrews 6:4-6 and how it is impossible to come again to repentance. Sorry if this is a lot.

This is exactly why we should have no trust in ourselves at all, but to put our complete trust in Jesus and what He did for us on the cross. Paul said that in himself, that is in his flesh, dwells no good thing. This is why he would not let anyone judge him for the way he conducted himself, and he would not even judge himself, but he left the judgment to his Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

While we are in our mortal bodies we are going to struggle. But the Scripture says that tribulation works patience, and patience experience, and experience hope, and hope makes not ashamed. Peter says not to be surprised at the fiery trial that comes upon us as something unusual. We go through these things so that we know that we have the sentence of death in ourselves that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead. The promises of God are sweeter through tear-filled eyes.

We will be plagued with doubts and fears all our lives, and we will struggle; but faith is believing in and trusting that Jesus knows about our struggles, doubts and fears. Belief and faith are choices in spite of what plagues our minds.

When the city was completely surrounded by the vast army, Isaiah and Hezekiah went into the temple to pray. They prayed, "Lord, we don't know what to do, but our eyes are upon you." During the night the Lord sent an angel and destroyed the whole army of hundreds of thousands of soldiers and so the city was saved.

It doesn't matter if all earth and hell combine to attack you in your mind and body, knowing that you belong to Jesus makes you a majority!

 

[Basil the Great]

Carson - Welcome to the forums and rest assured that God is aware of your struggles. Personally, I do not believe that we will be unable to return to God, unless we choose to stay away from Him. God bless you.

 

["Carson"]

Thank you, everyone. I'm not sure this will stop these thoughts entirely, but it certainly gives a bit of relief.

HTacianas, I think I should give some clarity. I'm not entirely sure it would be correct to say that I'm doubting the existence of God. I've more than managed to identify substantial cause for belief. It would more accurate to suggest that these thoughts of denial have been clouding my head for close to 2 weeks now and have been going slowing insane as a result. Moreover, to decide not to believe in any higher power would probably just send me further into depression. Although, I suppose that may be part of your point.

But it's equivalent to someone telling you the same lie over and over again. Repetition has a tendency to affect our way of thinking. While I see things that lead me to believe in God, having those thoughts almost constantly has still made me question my faith at some level.

 

[Jeshu]

Thank you, everyone. I'm not sure this will stop these thoughts entirely, but it certainly gives a bit of relief.

HTacianas, I think I should give some clarity. I'm not entirely sure it would be correct to say that I'm doubting the existence of God. I've more than managed to identify substantial cause for belief. It would more accurate to suggest that these thoughts of denial have been clouding my head for close to 2 weeks now and have been going slowing insane as a result. Moreover, to decide not to believe in any higher power would probably just send me further into depression. Although, I suppose that may be part of your point.

But it's equivalent to someone telling you the same lie over and over again. Repetition has a tendency to affect our way of thinking. While I see things that lead me to believe in God, having those thoughts almost constantly has still made me question my faith at some level.

Fight your own anxious thoughts with the truth of the bible. The truth of the bible will win your battles. Just remind yourself you belong to God because of what He has done - put your faith in His work, not your own, and faith, love and hope will grow despite the opposition.

Check out how it works - when you have doubts that God saved you you feel horrible while when you have faith God saved you from your sins then you feel good! Let this be sign unto you that confirming the biblical truths establishes us in our good life but thinking thoughts that take God's good away make us feel miserable. Honest faith in God works like a charm!

Peace.

 

[Blade]

Ah...its just lies from the enemy. See when Christ died.. He took as its written ALL the sins of the world. There is no SIN you now do that some how made it past the blood of a GOD. He forgave you.

Ok.. Jesus does not JUDGE YOU. Jesus does not CONDEMN YOU. You see the SIN... ok did you repent? A preacher...wow over 20years ago when RADIO was what you listen to.. said "I dont think anyone has sinned as much as me.. just get up..dust your self off and keep going"

You say "but I did this.. I thought that".. He points to the CROSS! He ALREADY took it there. You LIVE in a flesh body that LOVES to sin. Now you understand why Paul said.. the things I want to do I dont.. the things I dont want to do I do..its no long I that sin by the sin that is in me..

This is a battle we all face every day You HAVE TO KNOW Christ LOVES YOU and when you repent.. HE said.. will forgive you and cleans you from ALL not some but ALL unrighteousness.

See you are RIGHTEOUS ..right standing with GOD not because you NEVER SIN.. but ONLY because you believe in His son.. THAT is why you are RIGHTEOUS! If you NEVER SINNED EVER...you will still never make it to heaven. Sorry.. its a FREE GIFT and YOU can not did not do anything to get it.

You take HIM at HIS word. Not what I say or anyone else. He said believe in Him and you will not die but have ever lasting life. Joel and Acts 2 says..if anyone just calls on the name of the lord they shall be saved.

So.. tell Satan to get lost.. say.. JOHN 3:16... and resist the devil and he has to leave. REJOICE! for the LORDS JOY is YOUR strength. And you dont put on YOUR whole armor.. no you put on the WHOLE ARMOR OF GOD! HIS ARMOR.....that helmet of salvation.. to KNOW your saved because HE did it.. He paid the price for you.. so just believe..

And if you goof up.. repent. say sorry and try not to do it again. And no matter what you do.. NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER run away from HIM..ALWAYS run TO HIM! He is NOT a man nor thinks like one. He does not JUDGE YOU...He does not condemn you. Your in the Fathers hands and your not going to haha fall out because of some sin. NO SIN enters heaven.. its do you BELIEVE in Christ Jesus...John 3:16? Then praise GOD. AND keep reading.. go to Church.. and there is NO condemnation to them that are in Christ JESUS..

Talk to Him.. no just be you and talk to Him.. JESUS IS REAL!..and DOUBT FEAR WORRY ..those are things that NEVER EVER come from GOD... so when they show up like FEAR..you speak HIS words.. NO..God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. THATS YOURS! THATS HIS promise and there are over 7k more promises in HIS word that are YOURS! If HE said it HE will do it.. just believe+

 

["Carson"]

Update:

So, I'm not sure if I'm doing better or if I'm just emotionally drained and incapable of supporting as many branching thoughts at the moment. Though not as prevalent, I'm still hit with thoughts of denial. I'm scared that I might begin to fall into those thoughts. The story of the Prodigal Son is comforting to me as I know I could still come back to God. But I don't want to leave in the first place. I know that this process could strengthen my faith, I'm just scared of what failing would mean. I hate that I still have these thoughts. Especially when I'm seeing God work in my life lately. Multiple sermons as of late have been matching up with my place in life right now (Psalms 77 showing how it's okay to struggle in our walk with God and to question him at times) and I recently had a major prayer answered in the form of a promising job opportunity. I hate not being able to control these thoughts of doubt or blasphemy when everything I see in life screams of a greater design.

 

[Jeshu]

Update:

So, I'm not sure if I'm doing better or if I'm just emotionally drained and incapable of supporting as many branching thoughts at the moment. Though not as prevalent, I'm still hit with thoughts of denial. I'm scared that I might begin to fall into those thoughts. The story of the Prodigal Son is comforting to me as I know I could still come back to God. But I don't want to leave in the first place. I know that this process could strengthen my faith, I'm just scared of what failing would mean. I hate that I still have these thoughts. Especially when I'm seeing God work in my life lately. Multiple sermons as of late have been matching up with my place in life right now (Psalms 77 showing how it's okay to struggle in our walk with God and to question him at times) and I recently had a major prayer answered in the form of a promising job opportunity. I hate not being able to control these thoughts of doubt or blasphemy when everything I see in life screams of a greater design.

Its best to grow in your relationship with the word in spirit. The more you grow in Him the stronger your faith in God will be. Grow the good fruits that His presence bring about. Fruits such as love, kindness, caring, sharing and a joyous heart. A loving life with Jesus certainly knows how to get rid of doubt and unbelief.

When i was younger i used to struggle with doubt and unbelief but ever since i met Jesus in my life i have grown to love and trust Him. Jesus is certainly who He says He is for no one could have changed my life like He did.

Be of good courage.

 

[Brotherly Spirit]

Update:

So, I'm not sure if I'm doing better or if I'm just emotionally drained and incapable of supporting as many branching thoughts at the moment.

Both could be the case as our minds are part of our physical being. Let yourself take these times to rest your mind, usually when you have a lot on it the brain needs time to process. If anything being emotionally and mentally drained is a sign of this process finishing, allowing your thoughts to be organized separating what's important to remember and to rest with that in mind. Spiritually I believe this is also part of resting at the Lord's feet, sometimes we work ourselves inside as much as we do with our hands. This is when we need Him most of all, tired in need of renewal for living our lives with Him. So take the opportunity to enjoy your rest with Jesus, continue to seek Him in God's word and His body; do so with comfort and peace reading, even singing Psalms. Whatever brings you joy and lifts your spirit.

 

[Mari17]

Update:

So, I'm not sure if I'm doing better or if I'm just emotionally drained and incapable of supporting as many branching thoughts at the moment. Though not as prevalent, I'm still hit with thoughts of denial. I'm scared that I might begin to fall into those thoughts. The story of the Prodigal Son is comforting to me as I know I could still come back to God. But I don't want to leave in the first place. I know that this process could strengthen my faith, I'm just scared of what failing would mean. I hate that I still have these thoughts. Especially when I'm seeing God work in my life lately. Multiple sermons as of late have been matching up with my place in life right now (Psalms 77 showing how it's okay to struggle in our walk with God and to question him at times) and I recently had a major prayer answered in the form of a promising job opportunity. I hate not being able to control these thoughts of doubt or blasphemy when everything I see in life screams of a greater design.

Have you been diagnosed with OCD? Worrying about blaspheming is a very very common obsession among those with religious OCD. OCD tries to get us caught up in an "unsolvable" question, such as "Did I/do I want to commit the unpardonable sin? Do I want to think these thoughts?" etc. Then we go round and round trying to figure it out. But it doesn't solve anything to ruminate about it, because no matter how many arguments we may come up with to convince ourselves that we're OK, OCD will sadistically bring up more arguments to prove that we're not. The only way to break the cycle is to refuse to play its little argument game. That means that you basically tell yourself, "I'm not going to try to 'figure this out' anymore. I'm going to assume that it's OCD, and to move forward with my life instead of getting caught up in ruminating." The hard part about this is that your feelings will likely not catch up to your actions for quite some time. So, it requires moving forward and living for God, even while you're still unsure of whether or not you did commit the unpardonable sin/etc. (because your OCD will make you doubt it). The weird thing about OCD is, the more you don't want to think these thoughts, the more OCD will send them, in an effort to convince you that you really have a problem. They key is to ignore the thoughts, recognizing that it's just a way that OCD is messing with you, trying to get your attention.

If you don't know much about fighting OCD, I'd definitely start to do some research, and look into getting a therapist if you think that would help. Here are some of my favorite resources about OCD:
http://ocdandchristianity.com/ (particularly the blog posts)
https://www.ocdonline.com/
The OCD Stories | Real Stories That Educate & Inspire Those With OCD

 

["Carson"]

I haven't been officially diagnosed. Although, I certainly seem to exhibit more than a few symptoms. Thank you for your advice Mari17. I can't say that ignoring these thoughts is a particularly simple affair, though. I'm worried that these thoughts will lead me away from faith in God. I'm worried that if I walk away I won't be able to come back. It's kind off difficult to ignore those thoughts entirely.

 

[Mari17]

I haven't been officially diagnosed. Although, I certainly seem to exhibit more than a few symptoms. Thank you for your advice Mari17. I can't say that ignoring these thoughts is a particularly simple affair, though. I'm worried that these thoughts will lead me away from faith in God. I'm worried that if I walk away I won't be able to come back. It's kind off difficult to ignore those thoughts entirely.

I know, it is hard to ignore OCD thoughts. It isn't really a matter of "getting rid of the thoughts" as much as it is just recognizing that your OCD is fabricating a lot of them, and that you don't need to freak out about them even though your OCD is trying to make you think you do. I think often those of us with OCD are worried that if we stop obsessing about our obsessive topic, we'll stop thinking about it completely and go in the opposite direction. But I think we have too much common sense to do that. The problem is that we're way at the other end of the spectrum, over-analyzing and worrying to death. I think it's hard for us to realize that there's a middle ground - we don't have to ditch our consciences, we just have to get to the point where we can think rationally AND still use our conscience. For those of us with OCD, it takes practice to get to that point (whereas for "normal" people it tends to come more naturally), and a lot of that practice involves taking a rather nonchalant attitude toward the obsessive thoughts - or at least moving on with our lives and refusing to get caught up in ruminating about them. It retrains our brains to realize that we don't have to freak out just because it's telling us to. Those of us with OCD seem to always be on high alert for something to worry about, and to have an over-abundance of anxiety waiting to attach itself to something. We have to learn that we don't have to give in to that urge to obsess about things - and the beauty is, the more we learn that, the less our brain tries to get us to obsess! Because it knows that its tactics won't work on us.

 

[Caleb86]

Carson. I had a very similar experience as you. I have Pure O OCD. Please look it up if you havent. That is what you are exhibiting per your comments. If you are unable to control them, like the way i wasnt, i would seek professional help. I was not able to get my mind under control until i was able to get help and a bit of medication. You are not alone. You are human with a mind. As ive heard God wants us to have the mind of an adult (like you have), and a heart of a child. Message me if you want to talk

 

[HeDeliveredMe]

You guys, i dealt with all of this on the highest level. Christ/the Word FREED me completely. Yes, He knows what you are going through but NO, He does NOT want you to live with it, cope with it or anything of that sort, He wants you free and as impossible as it feels i am a living testimony it can and DOES happen. And its completely up to you. thats the best part. Please call or text me at 904-403-1908, it may take a while for me to hit on every point but i would love to help each and every one of you. if i do not answer, leave a message explaining why you are calling