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Struggling *trigger?*

blessedmomof5

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Hi LovedSparrow,

Welcome,
Are you feeling better now?

i think for most an eating disorder is being able to control "something" (food) because there are areas in your life where you feel you either have no control or are losing control!!

Can i ask you a question? You dont have to answer i respect that! But
You said your DH lusts? I assume he just looks at other women? With a desire of what it would be like to be wirh look?
And then tells you?

Is that correct?

No pressure to answer, like i said!

Hi all,
I'm newer to this section, normally I am in other ones. I have struggled with bulimia many years and have gotten into the cycle of eating sugar again. I am starting to gain weight and panic. I have not purged in a while, but it used to be a weekly or daily struggle. Because of mental pain, I have found it is easier to eat than to deal with my issues.

I have a high-functioning form of autism so my weight and body has always been an obsession. I am at a healthy weight, but at high cost to my self-esteem. I feel that if my eating is out of control, it's one of the few things I can control, so I feel messed up.

My husband is a normal red-blooded male and struggles with lust. We have accountability for him but it chips away a little when he tells me. He has regret. I know not to take it personally, that husbands still can be attracted to their wives but lust after another. I know in my head not to take it personally. I read Every Man's Battle and it helped a lot. But it does affect me, but my counselor said it may help my self esteem, knowing it is not my fault and that I am attractive in his eyes.

Just thought I'd vent. I'm spiraling into a deeper addiction and fear purging. I thought that venting here would be good accountability. I am on my 'womanly cycle' this morning, so the thought of sugar makes my 'stomach' hurt more. Maybe this will help break me out. I have also found drinking water helps a lot. It gets rid of sugar cravings sometimes, it is your body's way of saying it needs water if you crave sugar.

Have a blessed day, ;)
Loved Sparrow
 
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