struggling today. not coping. feeling desperate

[abovetheclouds]

I'm really struggling today and feeling desperate. I been discharged from mental health services a few months ago because my therapy programme with them had ended. I live in England and on NHS mh treatment is limited. I am struggling spiritually so doubt they can help anyway. I just feel alone and terrified. Really terrified of Hell and punishment

 

[Criada]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much sweetie
I'm in England too, and I've experienced the NHS problems with treatment for mental illness. There are some free therapy services you can activate - if you PM and tell me what area you're in I'll see if there's anything near you. Churches often offer free counselling as well.

If you need someone yo talk to, please PM.
God loves you, and he isn't going to punish you - Jesus has already taken our punishment
Praying for you, sister.

 

[abovetheclouds]

Thank you. I will PM you. Church and God are part of my issues right now. Obsessive thoughts about Hell and losing salvation, fear of God and religion. OCD, Religious OCD, Borderline PD, Self Harm, Munchausens, Histrionic PD, Complex PTSD. Abused by religious parents and teachings. Wary of God or religion. Finding I no longer desire God. Fear of displeasing Him. Had issues with beliecving God angry with me since age 7. But I had a lot of wickedness in my heart then. Became a Christian age 24. Was VERY serious about God. Very on fire. Then I backslid. Got involved in psychology which I know now is sin. Especially DBT. Repented but feel lost. In sin at the moment but trying to break free. Afraid that sin in that one area will keep me out of Heaven which has caused me further mental issues. So I'm lost. I can't live with Christian teachings on Hell or judgement. And am not allowed to use any Mindfulness or Eastern stuff. Which was helping me contain my issues until I realised it was sin. I keep thinking God is telling me I'm not His child anymore. Scared

 

[ladyjazz]

I think that your over religious parents may have not helped you. Im in terrible sin atm, but I know Gods character and that sin is a way i cope. IM BRITISH AT HEART! Thats neat you live there. You and I must focus on positive scripture. Dont touch anything dealing w fear, sin etc. God understands this need. The need to focus on His goodness! I found a fairly long radio interview of a lady who backslid 10 yrs, yet God glady had mercy. If you want me to find it, i will.

God is not some giant monster waiting to throw you away. He wants to love and heal you. Cuz its happened to me! Now im backslid again! Doh!

You really need a Godly lady to teach you mercy and grace!!! I will pray for that. God lovrs you, no matter what sin your in. Im positive!!!!

Kit!

 

[dms1972]

I have been through this too, in UK. I finished a short course of CBT, on the NHS that helped a bit. I had been praying for years for a neutral sort of therapy since everytime I sought help from christians they said I needed to talk to a psychologist. But I had been through psychological treatment earlier and it hadn't helped much and was the wrong sort at the time.

DBT isn't the only sort of therapy. They won't push you one way or other, but they will eventually want to see how you get on by yourself.

I couldn't really talk about anything spiritual in CBT that was a drawback, and the area I needed most help in the therapist seemed to not recognise to be causing a major problem.

The mindfulness approach is fairly neutral - if you just use it to suspend judgement till you have a better, fuller picture. That is really all it can help with. It is possible to trust Jesus and practice mindfulness without going into the whole eastern way of looking at things. Just remind yourself Jesus of Nazareth, who died and rose again is really there and present to you at every point of need. He is not you but by faith you can walk with Him. This is always true. Mindfulness then becomes simply weighing up situations and events with Jesus.

Let me assure you the first thing on Jesus' mind is your well-being and care, and support. He loves you. However we need church fellowship too and supportive caring christians alongside us. Make use of christian forums till you find that. Thats were I am at too, hoping to find a church.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

I'm praying for you.