Strugglin'

[Psalm31]

I've always been one to "make" things happen for myself. When I became a Christian 4 years ago I had to give that up, coming to the realization that not much is in my control.

The hardest part of that being my "love life". I don't like being single. I know this is one of the best times to serve God because I have so much time but I just don't like it. I like to be loved (who doesn't) and want to love back.

I went through a three year ordeal with my last boyfriend in which I practically begged him to marry me. And then you know what happened? He decided, "Okay". And I decided "No way!" That part of my life was getting over being dependent on someone else for security. I realized he was NOT someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life. And boy am I thankful the Lord brought me to that realization. That and the fact I wasn't ready to really get married. Well, now I think I am. I want to God to bring the love of my life into my path. I want to start a family. I'm ready to give myself wholey to someone and be devoted. But, God's not ready yet and I'm frusterated with that. Especially because I have someone in my sights who would make a great husband. I'm trying REALLY hard to just look at him like a brother instead of a future relationship. I want to do things right but at the same time I'm met with this strong urge to "make" it happen.

I pray about it all the time but I'm not seeing anything. Why is it so hard for me to trust God with this aspect of my life??? I just wanted to post and see if anyone else is having the same problem.

Thanks y'all.

Love,
Sara

 

[KeilCoppes]

Yes, you're not alone. One of the greatest struggles in my life is living in submission under God's providence while working to go forward and yet live "Thy will be done". I'm one of those who would very much like to marry someday, have met various people who seemed to synch and be in harmony, been on the road to marriage, and had it all fall through. For all I know, I may be one of those "eunuchs by the will of God". It's challenging to live with desires in a world where God's will doesn't take directions from my dreams and hopes and doesn't follow my childhood time schedule. And yet, God does do all things for my good, even if I don't get it.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Psalm 31. I know were you are coming from. It is a big step of faith to trust God in this area. I think you are right that we live in a society that teaches us to go out and get what we want by any means possible. Submission is viewed as weakness and failure. But, I determined a couple of years ago, that I was going to put this area in God's hands and put my hand's in my pocket's and not snatch it back. That doesn't mean there hasn't been some long conversations with God along the way and times I have really struggled with why some things have happened the way they have. (And yes, I have admitted I have pouted some along the way!) But I am learning to trust that if I ask to have control, I have to accept where He leads me and accept the circumstances. I may not like the deserts I find myself in, but you never know what oasis is just wanting over the next dune.....

 

[Living4Him03]

I understand where you're coming from! I have a very similar situation going on regarding the guy you have your eyes on who would make an awesome husband. It's very hard to see him as a brother in Christ and not think about what it would be like to date him. At the same time it's great to just have his friendship and spend time with him. I try to keep my focus on Christ's return, the hope He gives us, and the fact that no matter how awesome any man is, he will NEVER equal Christ...I may marry a wonderful man someday who loves me dearly, but guess what? Christ loves me more, He is the ONLY One who will ever fulfill me completely. The joy in that is far greater than any romantic gesture, date I could go on, etc. Place God first and the rest will fall into place quite nicely, not necessarily at the pace you want it to, but it will

 

[VivDaGurl]

All girls hope to get married someday and the same goes to me. I've even asked God so many times whether will I ever get married one day. It's such a nice and wonderful thing to be loved by another person here on Earth, having some one so closed to us, hug us when we are not happy, wipe out our tears, keep us accompany and the list goes on and on...

It's just so difficult to let go and let God handle this area of our life. We need to learn to be submissive to the Lord but this particular area, we really want to take charge and that's how the society is like today. Besides that, we are just human beings and we ourself need to have someone whom we can sometimes rely on and be pampered but, in Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's Will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Do you have an intimate relationship with God, yourself? Why don't you learn to rely on God as your best friend? Of course, there are so much things that we can do while waiting for God to give us that someone He had prepared for us such as learn up some new skills, work on your weaknesses, draw closer to God, and so on.

Also, pray to ask God to prepare you before you meet the mate God prepared for you for He knows what's best for you.

 

[Porthos]

hi,

i've been praying for my woman to come along and for Him to keep out girls that aren't supposed to be mine even if I am strongly attracted to them and even if they decide to date me... his will before your own type deal...

I've had 4 relationships since I started praying and all have ended abruptly without any involvment on my part. Two of them just ended where I totally lost contact with them for some reason.. no returned calls etc.. I wasn't really offended by it because I knew god was bringing the one for me later if I would stay true and wait for his to come along.

I think shes here finally
AFter 5 years of praying and waiting im soooooooo happy with this girl im with now and it hasn't abruptly ended and I honestly don't see that happening like my previous ones. I hope you get yours soon as well.

{edit}

 

[BeautyForAshes]

I've always been one to "make" things happen for myself. When I became a Christian 4 years ago I had to give that up, coming to the realization that not much is in my control.

The hardest part of that being my "love life". I don't like being single. I know this is one of the best times to serve God because I have so much time but I just don't like it. I like to be loved (who doesn't) and want to love back.

I went through a three year ordeal with my last boyfriend in which I practically begged him to marry me. And then you know what happened? He decided, "Okay". And I decided "No way!" That part of my life was getting over being dependent on someone else for security. I realized he was NOT someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life. And boy am I thankful the Lord brought me to that realization. That and the fact I wasn't ready to really get married. Well, now I think I am. I want to God to bring the love of my life into my path. I want to start a family. I'm ready to give myself wholey to someone and be devoted. But, God's not ready yet and I'm frusterated with that. Especially because I have someone in my sights who would make a great husband. I'm trying REALLY hard to just look at him like a brother instead of a future relationship. I want to do things right but at the same time I'm met with this strong urge to "make" it happen.

I pray about it all the time but I'm not seeing anything. Why is it so hard for me to trust God with this aspect of my life??? I just wanted to post and see if anyone else is having the same problem.

Thanks y'all.

Love,
Sara

YES! i know EGGGGxactly how you feel (minus having someone with whom I would like something to happen with).

I just remind myself that (a) I am one day closer to God's will for me in that department and (b) God's teaching me patience, which is something I can never get enough of.

 

[cnhn9801]

I've felt exactly the same way!! I am definately one of those people that have a difficult time simply trusting. Keep praying and find ways to really throw yourself into God's work. Keep your focus on Him! I'll be praying for you!