Struggles...

[1watchman]

The readers here do feel for you, Caleb, and there are prayers going up for you. The fundamental need is for you or any such one with this kind of stress, to get in tune with God. That is through His beloved Son, the Lord Jesus (and I recommend you prayerfully read all of John 1; John 3; John 14 and ask the Savior ---Jesus, the Christ of God, to come into your life (note 1 Jn. 5:10-12). Reading God's eternal Word and thanking the Lord Jesus for suffering on the Cross for your natural sins (as we all have) is the way to peace, hope, and eternal blessing. I have learned this over 60 years walking with my Savior and Lord. Look up always, and not be looking around all the time. Write me anytime! - Yours by grace, 1watchman

 

[planet_joe]

My life right now is going super bad and I want all of it to end. I’m in tears while writing this right now. I have extremely repetitive unwanted thoughts that scare me and I also have urges in my brain to do things that only worsens my anxiety, I want to ignore it but my brain is just still thinking about it. My brain just conflicts with itself and I go insane, I cannot control my thoughts. I’m fearful of my past and my future... I don’t want this. Why can’t God just end all of this if he truly loves me? What can I do to stop this? I just really want to die and not feel anymore pain and suffering. I can’t find happiness IN ANYTHING anymore...

I've got OCD and yeah I can relate. Have suicidal thoughts pretty often.

Get therapy / psychological help if you need it. Self-help courses have helped me a ton.