Im 22 years old and i have a girlfriend whos 19. We're both pretty conservative christians, same denomination, and we go to college together. When we met 3-4 months ago, neither of us had so much as touched another person innappropriately or had any type of sexual relations with anyone. The most id ever done physically was kissing and spooning.
Well something terrible happened the other night, as we were in my car at our usual make out spot. we had just gotten over a fight that lasted hours and we were so tired we decided just to sleep in the car overnight. Well one thing led to another and in the middle of the night we began to kiss eachother, eventually it led to the point of her asking if she could touch me. I said no the first 3 or 4 times, but eventually i found myself actually wanting her to do it and i finally agreed. This was the first time in my entire life ive ever done something so wrong like that. I really like this girl though, and i could see myself marrying her one day.
Well anyways, since that happened last week, weve touched eachother on 3 separate occasions. I finally realized tonight, how wrong it is, and why ive been feeling off the past few days. Now that i realize my mistake, i am simply overwhelmed with guilt and regret. Mostly due to the fact that i had been saving everypart of my body for my future wife, and i used to think that if i wanted a wife who was pure and innocent, i would also have to keep my purity and innocence. I know people even in my own faith are doing alot worse things than that these days, and i know that i would never ever consider having premarital sex. But i just feel like my life is ruined in that respect and that i may have lost that ideal wife image ive always dreamed about. in my mind it seems like by committing this sin, ive voided any chance of having a pure untouched wife, as i am now impure...
I am very saddened by all of this, and really dont know where to even begin. please help
Well something terrible happened the other night, as we were in my car at our usual make out spot. we had just gotten over a fight that lasted hours and we were so tired we decided just to sleep in the car overnight. Well one thing led to another and in the middle of the night we began to kiss eachother, eventually it led to the point of her asking if she could touch me. I said no the first 3 or 4 times, but eventually i found myself actually wanting her to do it and i finally agreed. This was the first time in my entire life ive ever done something so wrong like that. I really like this girl though, and i could see myself marrying her one day.
Well anyways, since that happened last week, weve touched eachother on 3 separate occasions. I finally realized tonight, how wrong it is, and why ive been feeling off the past few days. Now that i realize my mistake, i am simply overwhelmed with guilt and regret. Mostly due to the fact that i had been saving everypart of my body for my future wife, and i used to think that if i wanted a wife who was pure and innocent, i would also have to keep my purity and innocence. I know people even in my own faith are doing alot worse things than that these days, and i know that i would never ever consider having premarital sex. But i just feel like my life is ruined in that respect and that i may have lost that ideal wife image ive always dreamed about. in my mind it seems like by committing this sin, ive voided any chance of having a pure untouched wife, as i am now impure...
I am very saddened by all of this, and really dont know where to even begin. please help