Strict Parents?

[MehGuy]

My sister was / is an enormous fan of Harry Potter. I got into it bc of her when I was pretty small. We have all the books & dvds. We went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter when I was 10 & that's when I really was in awe. So then I read all the books. 22 is way too old to see a Harry Potter movie for the first time! It wouldn't have the same magic for you. Of course you thought it was stupid, lol.

Is that what you believe too? That if you end up in hell it's your responsibility?

Well I don't believe in hell now, but when I did yeah. Why else would you go there? In the Christian context you'd have a responsibility to get right with God.

 

[MehGuy]

You mean like Dish & DirectTV? I didn't know that was really different than cable.

Yeah. I'm not sure if there is a difference now, but at the time Satellite was pretty cheap and had more expanded channels than our Cable alternative.

 

[Cimorene]

Strict? Nope. I do remember dad wouldn't let me top the trees when I as a teen. Definitely no curfew when I was a teen, but that was mainly because my parents knew me.

Were there city curfews for teens back then?

 

[keith99]

Were there city curfews for teens back then?

Nominally. Most city curfews based on age do not say you cannot be out, they say you can not be loitering. If you are middle class white that usually was strictly interpreted, meaning you literally had to be hanging out on a street corner to have any problems. That or making out on lovers lane. Technically speaking if you were walking from one place to another you were not in violation of the law.

But what I was talking about was parental curfews. I pretty much never had a time to be home once I was a teen. I was however expected to call anytime I would be later than expected. The issue was make sure the parents are not worried, not my being out late. Technically later than expected could be 12:30 in the afternoon if I had earlier planned to be home for lunch.

 

[NewUser777]

Growing up, would you say your parents were really strict? Did they have some strange lines you weren't to cross? Things you weren't to do? Things you couldn't say or ask. Things you were not allowed to own? Were any of the rules related to religion?

Ok, that's 5 questions from you without any answers. You're asking these things because of something in your past. So, spill your guts.

redblue22, were your parents strict? Did they have some strange lines you weren't to cross? Things you weren't to do? Things you couldn't say or ask. Things you were not allowed to own? Were any of the rules related to religion?

 

[Cimorene]

Nominally. Most city curfews based on age do not say you cannot be out, they say you can not be loitering. If you are middle class white that usually was strictly interpreted, meaning you literally had to be hanging out on a street corner to have any problems. That or making out on lovers lane. Technically speaking if you were walking from one place to another you were not in violation of the law.

But what I was talking about was parental curfews. I pretty much never had a time to be home once I was a teen. I was however expected to call anytime I would be later than expected. The issue was make sure the parents are not worried, not my being out late. Technically later than expected could be 12:30 in the afternoon if I had earlier planned to be home for lunch.

I know you were talking about parental curfews but if you lived in a city that had a curfew for teens then your parents might have made you follow it. We don't have a curfew in this city but some of my friends live in cities where there is one & we had just been talking about it so I was wondering. I can't remember if you said you had kids. I know you said you had a stepson. How old & did he have a curfew?

 

[keith99]

I know you were talking about parental curfews but if you lived in a city that had a curfew for teens then your parents might have made you follow it. We don't have a curfew in this city but some of my friends live in cities where there is one & we had just been talking about it so I was wondering. I can't remember if you said you had kids. I know you said you had a stepson. How old & did he have a curfew?

I did not have any kids of my own. My stepson did have a curfew. That touches on something often forgotten. Often rules made by parents reflect areas of past or potential problems. I was not a night person, for me staying out late had little chance of turning into a situation that was chronic or which led to not getting up in time for school. So for me the issues were limited to immediate problems because of what might happen late at night. My parents had a couple of reasons to not worry about that. First they knew my general character and friends so it was not a big risk. The flip side was that I was bright and creative enough that anything they had the slightest reason to worry about me doing at night I could find a way to do during the day. If parents have done their job at all there is an excellent chance that by the late teens trust is the best option.

 

[Cimorene]

I did not have any kids of my own. My stepson did have a curfew. That touches on something often forgotten. Often rules made by parents reflect areas of past or potential problems. I was not a night person, for me staying out late had little chance of turning into a situation that was chronic or which led to not getting up in time for school. So for me the issues were limited to immediate problems because of what might happen late at night. My parents had a couple of reasons to not worry about that. First they knew my general character and friends so it was not a big risk. The flip side was that I was bright and creative enough that anything they had the slightest reason to worry about me doing at night I could find a way to do during the day. If parents have done their job at all there is an excellent chance that by the late teens trust is the best option.

How old is your stepson? What was his curfew when he was a teen (if he's not one now)?

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

My mother was emotionally abusive and would often sit me down for hours at a time to chew me out for something I had done that she found 'disappointing'.

My Dad did not often discipline, but when he did, it frequently crossed the line from discipline to abuse. He left marks from time to time or my face would be swollen.

When I was a teen, my folks were very strict. Seldom allowed to go out after school or on weekends. Weekly progress reports from school. No dating.

The way my parents raised me set the example of parenting, and as such, I decided early on in my childhood that I was never going to have children. It has to stop somewhere.

 

[public hermit]

Since this thread is "resurrected," I'll put in my one cent's worth.

My parents wore me out, almost daily. I came up believing that's how it should be. But, I'm not so sure anymore. Not having children of my own means I don't really know what I'm talking about.

I am curious what the reasoning is for corporeal punishment, besides it's considered by some to be biblical. I used to think the reasoning was as follows: you can't reason with children, but you still have to teach them consequences. So, you use corporeal punishment as a form of teaching them that actions have consequences. Then, when they are old enough to reason with, you switch tactics and begin to explain things to them.

I'm not convinced that line of reasoning makes sense. I don't have small children, but I have reasoned with small children before. They're not stupid. You may have to be creative, but they can understand things. Maybe it depends on the child. I know parents who don't whip their children and their children are well behaved. So, I don't buy the argument that if you don't spank, then by default children will go off the rails.

I don't know what the answer is, but I know this: my parents wore me out almost daily and I was still hell on wheels, for many years. Haha.

 

[Sketcher]

Compared to some, yes. Compared to others, no.

 

[JAM2b]

My parents were strict about some thing that they shouldn't have been and lenient and neglectful about some things they should not have been.

Examples of their strictness was in relation to phone conversations and who I could be friends with for reasons that had nothing to do with safety and everything to do with control.

Examples of leniency was no bedtimes, no hygiene rules or support, no limits on junk food or reasonable nutrition practices, no seatbelts.

Basically my parents wanted to control my socializing so they could control who saw and heard what, but didn't care to do what was good for us.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Neither my mom or dad are really strict,We had the same rules as everyone else and nothing extreme.