Stressed out

[Gentle Lamb]

As a teacher I'm feeling incredibly stressed out! I used to play around and be more fun loving with kids, I'd jump right in and play with them when they were playing imaginatively, but I noticed that the more I played with them the less they would listen to me and the more I would have to yell at them when I would need them to follow directions/be structured. Since then I've gotten way more serious with them, though at times I do laugh a little with them, but most of the time, I don't laugh or smile much with them, I try to keep things serious with them and provide a good structure and I've noticed that helps them follow directions better. However I have a student with extreme attention seeking behaviors and the school acknowledges that this is a problem. The student has severe family issues going on and that contributes to the problem. The school has said that they will expel the student since they can't help the student with those behaviors, lacking the resources. Instead, they have kept the student and I'm dealing with most of these extreme attention seeking behaviors. Not only that, but the behaviors are being rewarded by that student getting extra special attention from the staff. It seems that the extreme behaviors are causing the rest of the class to act out and I'm beyond stressed out to the point of crying because this is so hard to deal with and it seems like no one really cares. Little is being done to address this and I feel like I'm a bad teacher and I'm not sure what to do. Is anyone experienced in this? I'm trying all I can but the class is getting more and more out of control.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I have just two kids and they are a handful. Do I have any advice? Not really, it is always messy and hard with kids. I am sure you will push through, and do well.

 

[timf]

You have already observed the utility in applying a degree of discipline in general in your class.

The process of childhood is one of transitioning from no self discipline to adult self control. One of the reasons Satan has marshaled so many of his resources against fathers is because it is to his advantage to have a society more self-indulgent and less disciplined.

The student you describe sounds deficient with even the self-discipline he should have by school age. I assume like most modern schools you are not allowed to use corporal punishment.

If you were to have him sit on a chair at the back of the classroom facing a wall until he was able to regain self-control. I imagine it would not be long until he was up and around.

He desperately needs to learn about consequences. Perhaps you could request a teacher's aide to handle him or even draft some older kids to help with his restraint.

Kids like this used to be told by a judge to choose either the Army or prison.

You are in a tough situation your heart would love to give this child what he needs, but your employment situation will not allow it. Perhaps your district could define this behavior as a "special need" and find some special education resources that could be used to help him learn self-discipline.

 

[Brenda Blakely]

As a teacher I'm feeling incredibly stressed out! I used to play around and be more fun loving with kids, I'd jump right in and play with them when they were playing imaginatively, but I noticed that the more I played with them the less they would listen to me and the more I would have to yell at them when I would need them to follow directions/be structured. Since then I've gotten way more serious with them, though at times I do laugh a little with them, but most of the time, I don't laugh or smile much with them, I try to keep things serious with them and provide a good structure and I've noticed that helps them follow directions better. However I have a student with extreme attention seeking behaviors and the school acknowledges that this is a problem. The student has severe family issues going on and that contributes to the problem. The school has said that they will expel the student since they can't help the student with those behaviors, lacking the resources. Instead, they have kept the student and I'm dealing with most of these extreme attention seeking behaviors. Not only that, but the behaviors are being rewarded by that student getting extra special attention from the staff. It seems that the extreme behaviors are causing the rest of the class to act out and I'm beyond stressed out to the point of crying because this is so hard to deal with and it seems like no one really cares. Little is being done to address this and I feel like I'm a bad teacher and I'm not sure what to do. Is anyone experienced in this? I'm trying all I can but the class is getting more and more out of control.

Dear GentleLamb,

My son told me that he had told his boys “they may not always like him but that was ok cause sometimes the things he had to do may be hard and make them mad. But he was their parent and not their friend. “ He told them he hoped friendship came later on when they were grown. It is the same for a teacher. It seems we can’t be their playmate and their teacher or misunderstandings occur and the demarcation line gets fuzzy. As a teacher I always let my students know I was about doing what I thought was best for them, keeping them safe and keeping the goal of their well-being a a top priority. Children need to feel protected and thrive in a sense or order and discipline. I love to play with the kids also and have found that there are a few times and places I can do it. I also like to encourage exploration, discovery and learning and sometimes that is like play. As a teacher I had to remember, I was in charge and the tempo, atmosphere and attitude were up to me. My responsibility was to create the best environment for learning. I am praying for you. You sound like a great teacher and that is such an important job. God bless you and your students. As for the special student. Under these circumstances I would try to engage the kids to help. This teaches them how to handle people and similar situations. You have a difficult challenge. I am praying for you to find a win/win tactic.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Dear GentleLamb,

My son told me that he had told his boys “they may not always like him but that was ok cause sometimes the things he had to do may be hard and make them mad. But he was their parent and not their friend. “ He told them he hoped friendship came later on when they were grown. It is the same for a teacher. It seems we can’t be their playmate and their teacher or misunderstandings occur and the demarcation line gets fuzzy. As a teacher I always let my students know I was about doing what I thought was best for them, keeping them safe and keeping the goal of their well-being a a top priority. Children need to feel protected and thrive in a sense or order and discipline. I love to play with the kids also and have found that there are a few times and places I can do it. I also like to encourage exploration, discovery and learning and sometimes that is like play. As a teacher I had to remember, I was in charge and the tempo, atmosphere and attitude were up to me. My responsibility was to create the best environment for learning. I am praying for you. You sound like a great teacher and that is such an important job. God bless you and your students. As for the special student. Under these circumstances I would try to engage the kids to help. This teaches them how to handle people and similar situations. You have a difficult challenge. I am praying for you to find a win/win tactic.

Thank you so much Brenda, your words of wisdom really mean a lot to me. I realize that the school itself is not a good and structured environment with appropriate discipline where consequences follow actions to show students how to be responsible and that is causing even more acting out on the part of the children and I am too stressed out for just the start of the school year. I am praying that God will provide me with a new job where the stress won't take a negative toll on my health because I can only do so much. I'm disappointed in the school and thought it would be a lot better than this from their mission statement. Thank you for your support and your prayers. God bless you.

 

[carolina16]

God helped you! what type of job give it to you?

 

[How to live]

Dear Gentle Lamb,

your position is really difficult. On one side children must be under discipline, on the other hand they are not really human and fun and there is difficulty for you.

Even I haven´t had children, anyhow I would like to tell you some advice, how to have again more fun in your job and what I use in my life and solve my problems. Ask God for help to remove bad emotions like unhappines, anger, injustice from your heart. If you will do it, your life will change and you will be more happy.

Bad emotions devil use to make us worries. If we get rid them of, devil doesn´t have possibility how to influence us. I pray everytime, when I feel bad emotions, and my life changed I am happy now.

God bless you

Peter