Stressed out about flowers

[Fivesenses]

I'm quite stressed out about my wedding preparation and it's taking a slight toll on my emotional and physical health (I've had less than 3 months to plan the wedding but we are discarding a lot of unnecessary details + simplifying things). My fiance and I have decided on a budget (8k) and we have been trying to stick to that, going well so far. The problem is that my mum had gone ahead with a lady she knows from another church to arrange the fresh flowers i.e. bouquet, altar flower, foyer flower pot, as the lady use to own a florist shop before she started arranging flowers herself at home as a private business.

I was quite happy with the arrangement and had already sent the flower lady some pictures and colours of what I wanted (via my mum's phone contact). It's now about a month until my wedding and I wanted to get her number from my mum so that I can contact her myself to see how things are going, and receive a brief idea of when I can get a approximate quote for all the flowers she is making for the wedding. This is so that I can budget and let my fiance also know how much funds we have remaining to spend on others things we need for the wedding. But my mum gets into a fit every time I ask for the lady's number because the lady told her she will have to import the flowers and arrange it before she can give us a price. So my mum believes that:

I won't be able to know the price anyway until the flowers are imported, arranged the day before my wedding and it is rude to rush the lady to give me a quote a month before my wedding.

I've told my mum that I don't need the quote this early, like right now, but I just want the lady to tell me WHEN I can get a quote (as in, when she will be ready with the flowers and tell me how much it will all cost). I'm getting really stressed because I can't just wait until the night before to find out how much my flowers cost (I'm afraid it will go over budget AND that I don't know how much remaining funds I have to spend on other things).
When I calmly convey this reason to my mum, she starts accusing me of how I've spend unnecessary money on other wedding decorations (and how the guests will make a mockery of me for having so much decorations while having cheaper flowers) and splurged on shopping (which is totally unrelated to the wedding anyway) when I could just spend this money on the flowers. In reality, I've only spent $70 on the wedding decorations and hiring the rest for $100.

I don't know what to do - how to honour her and be respectful while controlling my temper but at the same time be able to respect my fiance's wish of staying inside the budget when I won't even know the cost of flowers until a few days before the wedding day!

What should I say or do guys????

 

[drjean]

Tough love. Put your foot down and say NO. Thank your mom but tell her that unless SHE is making sure the flowers are there and SHE pays for them, you're making other arrangements. (This is SOOOO stressful, but do it sooner rather than let it go on and on.) Flowers are pretty, and great, but really...not worth this stress and money! They all die in a day or two anyway and you don't take them home or on honeymoon anyway. Take care of yourself and stop the madness now.

 

[GeorgeJ]

I'm quite stressed out about my wedding preparation and it's taking a slight toll on my emotional and physical health

Forget about all of that extravagant crap and get married at a Justice of the Peace. Having fancy weddings is a huge waste of money and defineitely NOT a guarantee of marital bliss, success, or happiness.

 

[mina]

Honestly if wedding prep is not fun or enjoyable and is causing health problems then I agree with the above poster to cancel everything and elope. That's not how it should be. If you go ahead with the wedding then you do have to get tough with your mom and cancel her lady or demand she give you the woman's number . I love a wedding, but it should not be causing you that amount of stress and I don't believe couples should begin their marriage mad and annoyed.

 

[Bluerose31]

I'm quite stressed out about my wedding preparation and it's taking a slight toll on my emotional and physical health (I've had less than 3 months to plan the wedding but we are discarding a lot of unnecessary details + simplifying things). My fiance and I have decided on a budget (8k) and we have been trying to stick to that, going well so far. The problem is that my mum had gone ahead with a lady she knows from another church to arrange the fresh flowers i.e. bouquet, altar flower, foyer flower pot, as the lady use to own a florist shop before she started arranging flowers herself at home as a private business.

I was quite happy with the arrangement and had already sent the flower lady some pictures and colours of what I wanted (via my mum's phone contact). It's now about a month until my wedding and I wanted to get her number from my mum so that I can contact her myself to see how things are going, and receive a brief idea of when I can get a approximate quote for all the flowers she is making for the wedding. This is so that I can budget and let my fiance also know how much funds we have remaining to spend on others things we need for the wedding. But my mum gets into a fit every time I ask for the lady's number because the lady told her she will have to import the flowers and arrange it before she can give us a price. So my mum believes that:

I won't be able to know the price anyway until the flowers are imported, arranged the day before my wedding and it is rude to rush the lady to give me a quote a month before my wedding.

I've told my mum that I don't need the quote this early, like right now, but I just want the lady to tell me WHEN I can get a quote (as in, when she will be ready with the flowers and tell me how much it will all cost). I'm getting really stressed because I can't just wait until the night before to find out how much my flowers cost (I'm afraid it will go over budget AND that I don't know how much remaining funds I have to spend on other things).
When I calmly convey this reason to my mum, she starts accusing me of how I've spend unnecessary money on other wedding decorations (and how the guests will make a mockery of me for having so much decorations while having cheaper flowers) and splurged on shopping (which is totally unrelated to the wedding anyway) when I could just spend this money on the flowers. In reality, I've only spent $70 on the wedding decorations and hiring the rest for $100.

I don't know what to do - how to honour her and be respectful while controlling my temper but at the same time be able to respect my fiance's wish of staying inside the budget when I won't even know the cost of flowers until a few days before the wedding day!

What should I say or do guys????

hugs. I will pray that Jesus will help you know what to do about the flowers and that it will turn out just as you desire. Love and blessings