Stressed out about Dad

[Rage4Christ]

hoosier

Good luck with everything.
My main recommendation would still be focus on yourself. Often I see good Christians sacrifice themselves for the sake of others. In general this is a noble thing. Yet, remember, Christ commands unconditional love for all-- that means unconditional love of self as well. Christ wants you to love and accept yourself.

That means strong, clear personal and spiritual boundaries.

You have a duty to explain the consequences of your father's behavior to him. Define your boundaries, so he knows that you are not going to associate with him because of his unhealthy behavior. That you love him, but you have no duty to be abused (emotionally) by seeing him self distruct. If he is willing to go into therapy then you will resume your relation with him.

Stick up for yourself. You are worth it. Self-Sacrifice is only valued if it is done logically and consistent with self-respect.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

A Possible Praise???

I broke down and called dad from work last night (so I would have an excuse to get off the phone quickly if he brought up 'her') and we talked for nearly 40 minutes and 'she' was not mentioned one time!

Instead...he talked about getting on my sister's computer and searching around in Yahoo personals. I figured this is kind of cool for him because he is completely computer illiterate so he's forcing himself to get with the technology if nothing else.

He's still preoccupied to some degree with 'finding someone' but I'll consider myself relieved if that 'someone' is not The Waitress. Praise God!

 

[TheMainException]

that sure is a praise! It's wonderful to hear such news! I'll pray on though for the continued strengthening that's going on...

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Thanks LA. I visited him Friday night and he talked a lot more sensible than before. He apparently asked another lady that he knows out on a date and they are going out sometime this week. He said he still has feelings for the other lady and thinks she cares for him (yeah, right!) but he knows that she pretty much made a fool of him and used him for his money (tips). He even joked about himself that he should have been in the looney bin during the last 6 months. I told him I agreed. I hope and pray his healing moves forward. It's a long road.