- Jan 16, 2019
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I watched a video by a woman decrying the paucity of videos from well-adjusted men in response to all the red-pill videos on YouTube.
Men and women use the internet differently and have done so from the start. Women were focused on connections and building communities. Even in the heyday of chat rooms and AOL you saw the same unfold. We pursued topics of interest and shared what we found which led to spaces, mailing lists and so on. Learning was a big part of that. While entertainment existed it wasn’t the reason we logged on or what held our attention.
I was a member of the largest and most popular community for food lovers. Unlike the forums that were gathering spaces for professionals and aspiring chefs the site brought us all together and it was wonderful. Men were very involved and all the major cities were represented and expanded beyond it. This was the place where you could mention an obscure ingredient and someone could tell you where to find it and the best one to get.
We had a cooking and baking club on the site and voted on the books we’d focus on for the coming month. That’s how I learned how to bake from scratch and test recipes. We were using the cream of the crop as our sources and everyone improved. The Julie Julia project was live during this period. We read her posts every week and supported the book when it released.
That’s when the divergence began and women started to view the internet as more than sharing. It was an opportunity to do that with financial spoils and mormon women were the first to do it en masse. As blogs took off the majority directed to women were by them and they were on point. Much like we saw elsewhere gatherings followed which led to events and conferences and a movement emerged.
It wasn’t defined by slogans or empowerment. We saw opportunities for success and got on board. In the beginning the largest voices in that arena were male but we started instructing one another and became the dominant source that others referenced. We’ve been building for a while. Social media is the latest iteration and the og’s paved the way for influencers. That’s why it became so popular. They watched bloggers become NYT best sellers, get brand deals, have collaborations with designers, be featured on television and newspapers or get their own show and so on. The Pioneer Woman (Ree Drummond) and Joanna Gaines (Fixer Upper) were bloggers.
I'm not going to get into why women do so much more video posting, because I'm not in a woman's head. But I do think that so much of the posting I see is either by women, or by unproductive men, or very specific posting by productive men on how to do specific productive things.
Women consider the internet a resource and the desire to learn remains and they’re willing to pay. That’s why we have greater representation in that space. Vice was never the primary reason for our presence. In situations like the red pill communities there’s noticeable differences. There are women opting out as well and they’re encouraging one another to focus on healing, personal development and financial autonomy. Pain isn’t the focal point and there’s a place for those posts. But it isn’t the theme.
Working together is our norm. We don’t need a bad situation to unite us. Oftentimes men rally behind the negative but we see problems as catalysts for change and expansion. That’s why we’re growing so much because we use our time differently. While he’s coming online looking at porn, gaming or venting on X and red pill groups she’s building and increasing her knowledge.
And the gender wars are part of that. We’ve read the comments and taken them to heart. When I see people celebrating the loss of employment women experienced from the government or the assumption the absence of welfare benefits will raise his stock it’s hard to forget. We’ve learned how to use that as a springboard for furtherance instead of reactance. Everyone isn’t there of course but there’s enough who are to influence them.
~bella
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