Still searching for my Damascus

[louiseandgary]

I've been actively searching for years now and still have not had that enlightening experience, that calling from God.

The other night I couldn't sleep and had been having weird dreams. In my bed I lay and thought 'Could this be God finally calling me?' But I'm not into all than analysis stuff. I'm a maths teacher, Mrs Practical, mother of two boys and owner of a labrador. I do things out of duty to my family, friends and pupils. I don't indulge myself too often with soul searching.

I'm familiar with the basic Bible teachings and appreciate the lessons to be had from the stories. In my head I believe, but my heart is elsewhere. I feel emotionally impotent in this regard.

I can never imagine myself counseling others with helpful verses, or throwing my hands up in absorbed praise. I can never imagine trusting the Lord with my problems, that's what my wonderful Gary is for.

So, I'm wondering if it is only vanity and self preservation that I makes me want this.

I commit 100% or not at all. I thought I could just grow into it, and modify my life step by step, but my Epiphany hasn't arrived. I feel I'm doing all teh right things like going to church and being in fellowship, but the penny hasn't dropped yet. I want to feel it, not just say the words.

 

[Adstar]

I've been actively searching for years now and still have not had that enlightening experience, that calling from God.

The other night I couldn't sleep and had been having weird dreams. In my bed I lay and thought 'Could this be God finally calling me?' But I'm not into all than analysis stuff. I'm a maths teacher, Mrs Practical, mother of two boys and owner of a labrador. I do things out of duty to my family, friends and pupils. I don't indulge myself too often with soul searching.

I'm familiar with the basic Bible teachings and appreciate the lessons to be had from the stories. In my head I believe, but my heart is elsewhere. I feel emotionally impotent in this regard.

I can never imagine myself counseling others with helpful verses, or throwing my hands up in absorbed praise. I can never imagine trusting the Lord with my problems, that's what my wonderful Gary is for.

So, I'm wondering if it is only vanity and self preservation that I makes me want this.

I commit 100% or not at all. I thought I could just grow into it, and modify my life step by step, but my Epiphany hasn't arrived. I feel I'm doing all teh right things like going to church and being in fellowship, but the penny hasn't dropped yet. I want to feel it, not just say the words.

[FONT=&quot]The most important thing is Believing it.

Far more important than feeling it or talking it.

Not everyone is given to emotionalism but some do and so be it. Just because one is more conservative and given less to emotionalism does not mean they cannot have a deep and meaningful relationship with God. Each person is different all personality types approach God in different ways and God understands each one for they type of person they are.

So again it's not about being on some drug type trip of ecstatic religiosity. Each person should not compare themselves with others when it comes to their relationship with God.

Let each person be themselves and never try to fake anything or put on a show.


All Praise The Ancient Of Days[/FONT]

 

[soap]

If you want to hear God, read the Bible.

For the word of God is living and active.
Sharper than any double-edged sword,
it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit,
joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and
attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

This is where I started recognizing His voice.

 

[soap]

If you want to hear God, read the Bible.

For the word of God is living and active.
Sharper than any double-edged sword,
it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit,
joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and
attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

This is where I started recognizing His voice.

 

[tansy]

Hm---it's a little difficult to understand quite what you're saying louise.
I tentatively suggest that you talk to God about all this stuff and see what He says to you or shows you.
Maybe you're just very practical and unemotional?

 

[tapero]

l