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Still heartbroken

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carlyrose95

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Even though its been 4 years, I still can't believe my ex best friend raped me. I loved him so much, our friendship was perfect. He was so sweet to me. Sometimes I wonder if he wouldn't have hurt me and we'd still be friends if I only explained to him better. That I thought being in a romantic relationship would cheapen and put at risk what we had. I wish he knew how scary it was being 14 and expecting a baby. Sometimes I look at my son and I cry because he reminds me of my ruined life. But then I cry more when I realize how much I love him, then I give him a hug and I feel better. <3

What hurts even more than remembering the rape is remembering the fact that he rejected me as a friend and ruined my trust for people. Not only my trust for men but my trust for everyone. Aside from my son and my mom and dad I don't trust anyone because I know that no matter how much they seem to love me, they can always betray me in the future.

I've been praying that God makes me whole again, and that He gives me the power to trust others more so I can be a happier person, a better mom and hopefully get out of the house more. :|
 
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Johnnz

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That will be a very real and deep pain. If you can having an experienced third party to talk over some issues could be very helpful. You have had your trust in people badly damaged. You will need Jesus and some genuine people in you rlife to help you rebuild trust and confidence.

But there is no way you area write off and la good life is essentially over for you.

John
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