stigmatized? May be upsetting

[dizzydoll]

They (therapists) say it is ok to disclose being sexually abused as a child but when you do it is not uncommon to find yourself stigamiazed and ostrasized or worse not believed. Out of ignorance people fear you'll be some kind of monster who will take advantage of children. How to deal with it? I can't even ask for prayer at my church. Today, I got the courage to share. I don't want counceling just prayer because I know only God can heal this type of wound but now I'm obessed about being rejected alltogether. It has happened once before. People assume you will be too needy or they don't know what do to with you because they think somehow they have to do something? Any thoughts?

 

[goldenviolet]

i'm sorry. whomever or whatever is making you feel awful for being a victim is very unkind. bless your heart. it makes me think of the process of healling. us victims seems to feel "dirty" until we've reached a certain place in healling. i wonder if you have more healling to accomplish. and on the other hand, there is people who are very plain unsensitive to the needs or circumstances of others. i'm praying that your request for support and prayers, aids you in both feeling comforted, and freed from the feelings that hurt you. xo dee

 

[dizzydoll]

i'm sorry. whomever or whatever is making you feel awful for being a victim is very unkind. bless your heart. it makes me think of the process of healling. us victims seems to feel "dirty" until we've reached a certain place in healling. i wonder if you have more healling to accomplish. and on the other hand, there is people who are very plain unsensitive to the needs or circumstances of others. i'm praying that your request for support and prayers, aids you in both feeling comforted, and freed from the feelings that hurt you. xo dee

Thank you. I do have more healing but people have also been very unkind. Some have been nice yet cautious around me.

 

[goldenviolet]

i understand. i'm betting all abuse victims have some exsperiances simular. this world is just full of unknowing, or unkind people. more healling will help too.

it angers me that victims have a percentage of becoming the viloators themselves. it's unfair. we who are survivors don't deserve the label that we could possibly be sick too. the % of people who are victims, but seeking healling, aren't the danger. it's the poor people who aren't survivors. the whole mess isn't just your burden. it belongs to all of us, because these issues don't discriminate. they are everywhere. sadly, this leaves us who have to face something alot of people keep secret, have the heaviest feelings of burden. as you seek healling and education, i'm possitive you'll beable to sort out the feelings from your life that cause you to feel these things so heavily. these things are a common topic amoung survivors. bless you! xo dee

 

[Johnnz]

So many Christians are just so uptight about sex. Many do not know how to really relate to someone with your experiences. But many do not understand other deep issues, such as grief or depression either.

If you can find one or two good people you should confine your personal information just to them. Others will generally assess you by your overall life and character.

Its real hard being hurt on top of previous hurt though.

John
NZ

 

[Duffy70]

I'm praying for you, dizzydoll. I'm fortunate enough to have some unbelievably supportive friends who support me when I'm feeling down about such things, but it's true that there are some who will reject you for what happened to you. I thinks it's not so much a personnal rejection, but pushing away something that they simply do not understand and are frightened of, which helps me somewhat. In terms of avoiding rejection, I don't think there's a huge amount one can do except behave in as peaceful and kind a manner as possible. Hope things get better for you soon.