Hi There !
I do not have children of my own. I have 3 step daughters, and 4 step-grandchildren.
The oldest SD is out on her own doing her thing. She took off a few years ago and left three of her girls with her father. He called and said he was turning them over the the state so we took custody of 2 oldest Granddaughters, and he kept the other.
So current count still at home is..
2 Step daughters 9 & 16
2 Step GD 8 & 9
It would be much smoother with just the SD, as we get along good. They have learned to trust me, and that I do love them, and care about them. The oldest SGD is very angry. She does not know her father and blames herself for her mother's inability to take care of her. Her mother tries to get clean, and goes through jobs and apartments like socks. We smoother her with hugs and kisses. She is my special girl, and she hangs with me a lot around the house. She knows her anger comes from her mother's sickness, but sometimes she cannot contain herself. She see's a counselor the other day and told the counselor, she was very bad the other morning, and she knows her atitude is bad becasue mom is sick. That's progress. The other SGD is liking the stability. She takes comfort in knowing where the next meal is being servered, and a different man isn't visting this week.
My wife and I primary objective is model a healty marriage. She requires the man to be the Household leader, as well as a spiritual leader under Christ. No, she is not a kept woman. She is a career woman, but believes God create a working blueprint for the healthy family.
In the beginning, my SD hated me, but my wife, from the start, refered all authority to me. She did this even when she didn't need too, but she wanted to illustrate to her girls that we are a couple, and there will not be a wedge to drive between us. When the girls asked to do something, she would turn to me and say, what do you think honey? It didn't take long before the girls would come ask me first. Of course I would turn and say, lets make sure mom is OK with it.
Once in a while my 9yo SD would cry I want my dad when she doesn't get her way. We would hand her the phone and tell her she can call dad if she wants to talk to him.
For the most part, it's just normal kids stuff. I do things as a family. I treat them as if they are mine, even though I don't really know what that means. What I do know is they are kids, and need a chance at living a good life, and should at least be secure in their own home.
There have been times when I wonder why I am doing this. Why do I work hard and give up my paycheck for a gang of ungratefule kids that are just takers and destroyers of the house. That's when God reminds me that it's not really my decision, and it's my job to give the kids a fighting chance at life, and a demonstration of Agape' love. They can make it hard to love them, but they know not what they do
Only by God's grace......
I am a step parent of two, ages 10 and 8. I have never had children of my own and stepped into this role 2 1/2 years ago. We have a different situation in that my husband grew up in a cult, married and had two children. When he became a Christian his wife divorced him. Now we deal with an ex-wife who says things to the children such "your Dad says you are going to hell" and that their Dad divorced her. One of the children is very emotional and feels everything. She has done well through it all and we have a family counselor that has helped greatly. I am glad to have found this forum.
