- Nov 9, 2004
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Well, it's been one night (four nights since I made those posts) and now that it's morning, I'm waking up and thinking about what I've done. I don't want the mods to close this thread. And to those who have been posting about me on IIDB that I'm the worst thing since Hitler... hey... can you link the people to this post please? Yeah, thanks.
First off, I'm going to sincerely apologize for what I said last night regarding the suicide thing. It was wrong, and yeah, two of those three posts I made were a knee-jerk reaction. (Probably the only reason why I got two points instead of three).
I thought I'd tell you all the reason regarding last night. Behind the anonymity in the internet, there's a college student here who has been through a lot in only 21 years. Like I've stated, I too, was once a suicidal person. I didn't enjoy it. It sucked. It was like living in Hell every day of your life, and no one really cared too much. I guess I can say I ain't COMPLETELY over it, but enough that I can control my own emotions and prevent myself from going completely over the edge.
Anyway, I apologize Mrs. Sidhe, praying, Lisa, (did I forget anyone else?... seriously, I think I forgot a few people).
For those who think I'm apparently worse than a troll, think to yourself something. I made one mistake. Didn't even know I made that mistake until I was singled out for it on a thread that included a Youtube video on how to fake your own death, amongst other comments. I don't know what other people's responses would've been if they realized they become the target, but I doubt the first thing that people would say would be to apologize. Maybe for their actions, but not for EVERYTHING.
I definitely did not expect to have my personality judged on a few posts out of the 11,000+ I've made on CF, another 100 on IIDB, and another 1,000 or so on forums across the net, but if this is how people will remember me by, well, I guess at least I got my wish of being remembered.
I don't know if I wanna stay or not. I think I'll leave it up to the rest of you guys. My knee-jerk reaction was to leave, but again, I have a reason for that. I usually leave so that people do not have to keep harassing me further. I've actually been attacked for a lot worse, if you can believe that, under other names. This isn't my first go-around, and it probably won't be my last. Probably won't even be my last under THIS name, as I have a tendency to tick people off (and I admit to it).
I do have a few additional comments to say.
* Like I said in the mock election thread, I can't get mad at Moriah. I don't quite know what gender he/she is, but he/she just sounds too cool. Can we be friends after this?
* I do have other comments on... uh... top of these comments that I want to save until a few days out. If you want to hear those, you can PM me. But for right now, it's not really the appropriate time. I want to clear my name, above all else first.
* (EDIT: If above all else, the guys over at IIDB were DEAD-ON on one thing. Pride. This I have much of. And I'm not ashamed to admit that. It's one of the seven deadly sins, and I wouldn't recommend anyone getting it, but I think this is one deadly sin that'll carry me to the grave, just because of the way I was raised.)
I've said my piece. I HONESTLY did not know how serious my comments were for one, especially since I didn't think I'd be the one singled out. When I was, I thought that if I apologized for violating policy, which... apparently... was supposed to be... that would be enough, and that wasn't. So this is my full sincere apology.
Take it for what you want of it. Just remember not to judge a person by only a few posts. I'm not a fundie by any means of the imagination, and I've proven that through 11,000+ posts. If I have to prove it all over again, might as well... helps me move up to the next job that much quicker. But again, I'd rather the prosecutors determine what I should do with my CF account from here, rather than anyone else.
I don't care what you decide, whether for me to leave or go. I had a fun time here, it was a blast. I'd rather stay than go, but again, it wouldn't matter to me either way.
So I'll wait for your responses.
And I'll write another post in a few days.
P.S. I made some edits, so please if you already read this... DON'T quote me until you press F5. Thanks.
First off, I'm going to sincerely apologize for what I said last night regarding the suicide thing. It was wrong, and yeah, two of those three posts I made were a knee-jerk reaction. (Probably the only reason why I got two points instead of three).
I thought I'd tell you all the reason regarding last night. Behind the anonymity in the internet, there's a college student here who has been through a lot in only 21 years. Like I've stated, I too, was once a suicidal person. I didn't enjoy it. It sucked. It was like living in Hell every day of your life, and no one really cared too much. I guess I can say I ain't COMPLETELY over it, but enough that I can control my own emotions and prevent myself from going completely over the edge.
Anyway, I apologize Mrs. Sidhe, praying, Lisa, (did I forget anyone else?... seriously, I think I forgot a few people).
For those who think I'm apparently worse than a troll, think to yourself something. I made one mistake. Didn't even know I made that mistake until I was singled out for it on a thread that included a Youtube video on how to fake your own death, amongst other comments. I don't know what other people's responses would've been if they realized they become the target, but I doubt the first thing that people would say would be to apologize. Maybe for their actions, but not for EVERYTHING.
I definitely did not expect to have my personality judged on a few posts out of the 11,000+ I've made on CF, another 100 on IIDB, and another 1,000 or so on forums across the net, but if this is how people will remember me by, well, I guess at least I got my wish of being remembered.
I don't know if I wanna stay or not. I think I'll leave it up to the rest of you guys. My knee-jerk reaction was to leave, but again, I have a reason for that. I usually leave so that people do not have to keep harassing me further. I've actually been attacked for a lot worse, if you can believe that, under other names. This isn't my first go-around, and it probably won't be my last. Probably won't even be my last under THIS name, as I have a tendency to tick people off (and I admit to it).
I do have a few additional comments to say.
* Like I said in the mock election thread, I can't get mad at Moriah. I don't quite know what gender he/she is, but he/she just sounds too cool. Can we be friends after this?
* I do have other comments on... uh... top of these comments that I want to save until a few days out. If you want to hear those, you can PM me. But for right now, it's not really the appropriate time. I want to clear my name, above all else first.
* (EDIT: If above all else, the guys over at IIDB were DEAD-ON on one thing. Pride. This I have much of. And I'm not ashamed to admit that. It's one of the seven deadly sins, and I wouldn't recommend anyone getting it, but I think this is one deadly sin that'll carry me to the grave, just because of the way I was raised.)
I've said my piece. I HONESTLY did not know how serious my comments were for one, especially since I didn't think I'd be the one singled out. When I was, I thought that if I apologized for violating policy, which... apparently... was supposed to be... that would be enough, and that wasn't. So this is my full sincere apology.
Take it for what you want of it. Just remember not to judge a person by only a few posts. I'm not a fundie by any means of the imagination, and I've proven that through 11,000+ posts. If I have to prove it all over again, might as well... helps me move up to the next job that much quicker. But again, I'd rather the prosecutors determine what I should do with my CF account from here, rather than anyone else.
I don't care what you decide, whether for me to leave or go. I had a fun time here, it was a blast. I'd rather stay than go, but again, it wouldn't matter to me either way.
So I'll wait for your responses.
And I'll write another post in a few days.
P.S. I made some edits, so please if you already read this... DON'T quote me until you press F5. Thanks.
