Stages of falling in love

JPPT1974 said:

I would much rather have people see me from the inside than the outside.
What if the person is pretty or handsome on the outside but "ugly" on the inside.
IMO, that is what counts is peoples' characters, behaviors, and kindness.

Click to expand...

If that happened though, we'd all be butt ugly due to the sin nature. Yes, Christians are forgiven, but when you are talking about character that you have to deal with on earth, there is still enough filth to make us all look like the Elephant Man.

Fatolia said:

so are you suggesting that there ought to be separate "classes" of people? The high, attractive class and the low, elephant people?

Click to expand...

Absolutely not, I have no idea where you got that from. I'm just saying we're all down in sin and that sin is an ugly mark on our character. So if our character became our appearance, we'd all be ugly because we are all inherently sinful.

twistedsketch said:

If that happened though, we'd all be butt ugly due to the sin nature. Yes, Christians are forgiven, but when you are talking about character that you have to deal with on earth, there is still enough filth to make us all look like the Elephant Man.

Click to expand...

Precisely. It is easy for one to say their character impecible since we cannot readily observe it.

Fatolia said:

Some people are just like that. People stay in their social circles. When you came to Fusion a few months ago, people not only avoid you (except Brad the cool pastor), they avoid me, they avoid my extremely attractive brother....they avoid everyone new. It's certainly not a Christlike attitude people have there. I would hope to change that, but I'm only one person. Making people feel accepted is tough because very few others thinks it's important. People roam around thinking about themselves and their close social circles all day.

I think it's kind of unfortunate how you think you're so fat. There's a lady in our church who is significantly more overweight than you, and she just got married like 6 months ago. When I was in college, there was a big girl who was popular because she was such an extreme extrovert. I even liked her. One day I was surprised to discover that she had recently 'acquired' the attractive guy who all the girls chased after. However, there's this big girl I keep running into who pursued me in high school...everytime I see her, I can feel the vibes of desperation. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy: no one wants a partner like that. I think you have to be socially aggressive with people and numb yourself to those people who'll judge you because you don't look like Halle Berry.

Click to expand...

Actually, I enjoyed myself at Fusion. The only reason I haven't been back over there is because I've run into a financial hardship with my house (property taxes...long story) and can't afford the gas to drive over there. (can you say steady diet or raman noodles for the next 7 months?! ) Some of the girls there seemed really nice. My 'church' comments were borne out of memories of previous churches I've attended and how after 2-3 years I still couldn't seem to shake the outcast feelings. A couple of the churches had a lot of people who are better off financially and they certainly didn't want to accept what they felt was 'trailer trash' in their social circle. Definitely not a Christ-like attitude as you say. I appreciate your encouragement regarding my opinion of my looks/weight. However, truth is truth...I am overweight. I should be about 80 pounds lighter than I am. I've accepted it but until I am determined enough to do something about it, I have no right to complain. I just know that I am limited in some things in my life because of it and unfortunately, due to societal 'norms'....having an active social life (whether dating or just friends) is one of them. It's ironic though, because at least half of the US population has a weight problem...some much worse than mine....yet obese people are still the butt of jokes (no pun intended) and discriminated against in the workplace, schools, churches, and pretty much anywhere else. Sometimes I think I stay fat to spite my skinny nurse mother who would love nothing more than to see me skinny, and dating a rich, handsome man. Dream on, mother....... I too, know a woman probably twice my size even that found a nice man and married about 7 years ago or so. However, she has a beautiful face and her family has money.....again, two things I definitely don't have going for me. She's a nice girl too (the only thing we probably have in common). I know a lot of women that make me feel thinner who seem to have no trouble finding men to date but then again, a lot of them have lower standards than me. (and sadly, most have lower moral expectations too)

I think I have numbed myself to those who would judge me....actually, I've numbed myself to pretty much everyone. They can judge all they want, I have God and a few other friends to talk to and luckily, my family (when they aren't driving me insane). I just hope the judgemental folks wake up someday and realize that God isn't too happy with that kind of behaviour.

twistedsketch said:

If that happened though, we'd all be butt ugly due to the sin nature. Yes, Christians are forgiven, but when you are talking about character that you have to deal with on earth, there is still enough filth to make us all look like the Elephant Man.

Click to expand...

To be honest with you, I feel like the Elephant man at times. Because I don't look like a model nor have the body of one. I would rather be pretty again on the inside than on the outside. Because the inside lasts forever while the outside may rust.

I think I'm echoeing someone else on here...prettiness on the inside will radiate to the outside to those whose heart is clean enough to 'see' it.

HoosierCanuck said:

I think I'm echoeing someone else on here...prettiness on the inside will radiate to the outside to those whose heart is clean enough to 'see' it.

Click to expand...

I suppose I'll give that an .

*blushes*

aawww, Thanks. Must be the tea I'm drinking.

awashinlove said:

I suppose I'll give that an .

Click to expand...

I second that!

TinkHeartsJesus said:

I love both of you girls. Honestly. I know, I'm not a guy. Sorry!

I used to really talk about how ugly I was. Then a friend told me to use my spiritual eyes, instead of my physical ones. Once I started truly looking to see myself the way God sees me, I decided that ugly or not (to man), He thinks I'm beautiful. And His opinion is the only one I care about!!

(((((((((Mina, Hoosier)))))))))

In His love,
Tink

Click to expand...

Thanks for the hug. I know what you are saying. I know God thinks i'm beautiful. But I live among and interact with fleshly humans everyday. And I'll admit that I do care about what people think of me and how I look. I do want someone to think i'm beautiful or even pretty. I want to know how that feels; to hear it to tangibily feel that; not just to know it in my head.

I know what you mean, Mina. It would be nice to hear someone say "you have beautiful eyes" or whatever....and mean it....not just be saying it because they want something or to 'make you feel better.' Just because....

I have had people comment on what accent I have. I am not a southerner even though I have lived in TN for twenty-one years. But originally from Florida.

I basically don't care about comments on my looks, unless their from a special someone.

Fatolia said:

Believe it or not, that matters to us guys too. For once to have a woman say something other than "nice muscles." I had a wonderful lady comment me the other day on how she liked my hair. That made me feel good.

Click to expand...

Well... you have great hair!


In His love,
TInk

Fatolia, please don't take offense to this but you are a nice looking person with a nice build. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it...even online.

Honestly, I hadn't thought about guy's 'need' for compliments because it's always seemed to me that women are more likely to accept physical flaws in men than they are in women....not always....more like 65-35% of the time. I guess that wouldn't be true though because advertisers cater to men as much as women for 'sex appeal' and other nonsense. Maybe it's leftover from the whole 'men are strong and emotionless, women are weaker and have feelings' mentality from the Leave It to Beaver Age. So...I guess us girls need to start complimenting the fellas more often.

Peace,

HC

Thanks. Aaaaaaaaah, Atkins. I have that book. lol Believe it or not, I like exercise but I can't convince my brain of this fact. Lifting weights feels good to me in some weird way. My day-job has a fitness center available to me 24/7. I am prone to self-destructive behaviours I guess (thankfully drugs, alcohol, gambling and sex were never in the mix). I know fat can be changed...the ugly could too if I had a lot of money. lol

Seriously though...it's my life in general that I find truly ugly. I hate the fact that no matter what I do I can't stay caught up....much less get ahead.

Back to the OP, falling in love......stay tuned....I'm sure I'll have another brilliant thought before the weekend is over. lol