<Staff Edit> I need Help

[butterfoot]

Some one please help and pray for us.

My wife and I have been seperated for a month. We have done the worst possible thing you can do to each other. After we seperated both of us ran into the arms of someone else. Now one month later both of us feel guilty, ashamed, sad, scared, mad, and most of all hurt. I talked to her tonight and both of us have agreed that we need to sit and talk.

But how. I love her and I know it otherwise I would not have the feelings that I have. I have been an emotional wreak all week. I finally had to go to see my doctor, because I had a nervous break down.

Unfortunately we have involved other people into this. Other people that we will hurt their feelings as well. I feel so bad for those other people as well. They were used by us.

I guess my question is how do my wife and I get over this? We are going to just get away from everyone tomorrow through this weekend and turn the cell phones off and it just be us. How do we move past the hurt both of us have caused each other? How do we figure out how to move past the guilt both of us have? How do we decide if we should truely try to work it out, or once and for all be true and go through with the divorce?

I am so confused at this moment. I need to find myself so that what ever direction I take I can be true to myself, my family, and anyone else involved in my life. I can't believe what I have actually done. I am on the verge of tears just trying to post this blog. I really need someone to respond and give me some advice. I don't know what to do and I am just so confused at this moment.

Thanks
Butterfoot.

 

[Niffer]

Hey Butterfoot,

Well, I think it's a great idea that you're both getting together this weekend to talk this over.
Just remember that through these times a lot of other people come into play, like: "I can't get divorced what will my mom/dad/siblings/IL's say??"
You need to ignore all of those, focus on yourselves and what is truely best for both of you.

It bodes well that even though you've hurt eachother, both of you feel horrible about it, and therefor want it to stop.
Remember that both of you are equal here, you both cheated and did hurtful things to eachother, if one of you thinks they are "less guilty" that that's a serious red flag.

Come to eachother in humility and forgivness. Forgive her and ask for forgivness, admit you did wrong, but tell her you hated the way you behaved and want it all to stop.. That you love her and want to be with her again.
Take it slow and expect nothing. Don't expect a horrible painful divorce, and don't expect that after this weekend you'll both be happy and fine again.
This will take time, but if you both want to fix it, then it'll happen.

Good luck Butterfoot, and remember to pray.

~ Niffer

 

[butterfoot]

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I am praying. I have picked up some inspirational reading as well. I know it will take time.


Thanks Niffer.

 

[catlover]

If you trust your pastor maybe you would want to involve him/her-

 

[FaithfulWife]

Hey Butterfoot--quick word of advice. You may want to edit your thread title by clicking on EDIT and where it says "Wash My Mouth" that's the swear filter. Enter another adjective.