SSI and never finding a partner!

[dabro]

Guys all the women that I've met have turned me down because of my disorder. I have to be on SSI to pay for my drugs, which are alot givin into account how many I have to take. I just don't know any other way, I'm not mad just sad. Sad at my life and what it could of been without OCD. Sad because I prolly won't ever find a tender hearted christian who will love me as I am. They all turn the other cheek when I tell them I'm disabled. It's not about looks cos frankly I don't think that is what matters. I'm just stuck in this depression even tho I was getting out of it. I realized last night all the drugs I am taking and it made me really sad. I had bad nightmares cos I went to bed depressed. IDK if I'll ever be able to work again. And I know I can't live on without the med's. I get suicidel. So I'm just frustrated and I'm not going to take it out on anyone. There are wounded warriors who have it worse then I do and still endure. Maybe I'm to hard on myself but it is hard.

 

[goldenviolet]

commere... *HUG*

you actually sound as if you think you aren't worthy of a helpmate, and will never be. it's like you've have determined your fate. the truth is, you are still young and i'm sure you are willing and capable of creating a nesting ground. really all you need is shapening of your skills spiritually. women are attracted to men who are spiritually wealthy. we like men who take the lead. we like men who manage their lives well. including manage mental health issues. it helps us not to fear the illnesses, situations, flaws, etc.; and makes us want to be a helpmate. prayerfully, xo dee

 

[dabro]

Doesn't God ask us to be humble. IDK if I'll ever egt the right treatment. I've been to several doctors and all they want to do is cover one symptom up with another. I understand where your coming from on being spiritually wealthy. I have dug my hands deep in my own life and God is now working on another gift I have and thats helping ppl out of love. Love is the greatest commandment of all. Ya I feel as tho I'm not worthy. Cos all my relationships have been shripped of me. My dad killed my self esteem as a young child and right now I'm in the process of looking for a new church, but what is my motive? to worship God or to find a wife? I think it's the latter and that ain't right. I've been single for going on six yr's. I've said all the sorries I could to everybody that I hurt. I'm deeply depressed and how am I suppose to find that self esteem when I lost it when the Pure-O hit me. I hate this disorder cos It has stolen everything from me. I'm not mad just very sad. and that in itself is pathetic. lol. So you see my point. I don't know if I am where God wants me or if I'm not?

 

[HoneyComb Son]

I know how it goes mate..I got health issues too...OCD is one of them in fact..plus chronic pain issues with back and neck..yet I still work 12 hour shifts..lol it hurts alot..not for long though..want to move on and do something else

truth is..I was engaged..but broke off..I think one of issues was my issues and my health..couldnt do much at that time..hurts alot..it does trust me..it does feel like we got so much more harder to find someone to be with..and truth is..though it shouldnt matter in this world.it does...hurts I get mad at it..most girls or even guys..even christian guys...say it doesnt but truth is I know better...

seems cold..that christians would do this..but they do..thats the truth...look in society churches etc..people who have issues struggle to be with someone...not sure why all the reasons but I got some..

I think you just have to be bold and courageous..if people arent willing to be with you..then thats their weakness not yours..because ur issues shouldnt matter....just keep trying...I wish at times I could knock on peoples heads for their coldness.but meh..just keep asking people out and trying..might as well

another thing..detox from religion man...like dont say sorry or that stuff..I have OCD too..like burn the religion out of ya..dont go by church traditions or society expectations..just keep going...youll find someone...I am going to find someone...people say wait on God etc etc..which is good..but you have to get up and get out too you know...

I am a believer too..but I have learned that freedom is where its at..youll find someone..just dont let the coldness of some get to ya..its not your fault

 

[goldenviolet]

Doesn't God ask us to be humble. IDK if I'll ever egt the right treatment. I've been to several doctors and all they want to do is cover one symptom up with another. I understand where your coming from on being spiritually wealthy. I have dug my hands deep in my own life and God is now working on another gift I have and thats helping ppl out of love. Love is the greatest commandment of all. Ya I feel as tho I'm not worthy. Cos all my relationships have been shripped of me. My dad killed my self esteem as a young child and right now I'm in the process of looking for a new church, but what is my motive? to worship God or to find a wife? I think it's the latter and that ain't right. I've been single for going on six yr's. I've said all the sorries I could to everybody that I hurt. I'm deeply depressed and how am I suppose to find that self esteem when I lost it when the Pure-O hit me. I hate this disorder cos It has stolen everything from me. I'm not mad just very sad. and that in itself is pathetic. lol. So you see my point. I don't know if I am where God wants me or if I'm not?

are you content with yourself and disorder? i'm a sufferer of lots of junk, but i am content. i except it all. i'll talk with you about it later if you want to. imho i don't think seeking a wife is in anyway sinnful. ofcourse you have it in your mind while looking for a church. that just means you are normal. in looking for a church: phone around and make interviews with church staff. seek out in prayer and sevices. i think once you get settled you'll find yourself less sad. xo dee

 

[dabro]

Okay dee, I'll work on more then one Church. I want to find one with a Great youth group. Meaning I find more of what I need by being active in the youth group and trying harder to help ppl. Also In the back of my head maybe find someone my age. No younger. But all in all I'm wanting to search and thats good. so I'll keep you updated on how things go.

 

[goldenviolet]

i'll keep you in my prayers! ~ xo dee

 

[dabro]

Thx Dee, just woke up in a bad mood cos my roommate was playing his music. Darn it! But no thanks for the prayers. I have two feet I can go to church, just not going ot the one that was the worst stumbling block to me again.

 

[dabro]

Man I think God hates me for real. Give me all these illnesses and say your screwed when it comes to finding a wife cos you can't do anything with it. Like pretty much saying I am worthless. And I'm tired of meeting ppl who are like this: if you ain't got no cell fone you ain't worth talking to. well thats sad to be honest cos they make me feel this way and God just lets it happen. I'm reaping what I have sow and His vengense has landed on me not them. So I guess I'm screw in this life and the next.

 

[goldenviolet]

i don't have a cell phone! (((my prayers are still for you))).

should we compare diagnosis and hardships?
i'm possitive you are not alone. not cursed.
not worthless. not abandoned. bless your heart.
vent it all out. ~xo dee

 

[HoneyComb Son]

God ant put no illnesses on ya mate..donts think that..true us guys with illnesses have it harder to find a mate..but dont give up.I ant.I got two chronic sickenesses plus OCD..sucks.and a shaky past with religion..but im not gonna give up..I want to be with someone

if the ladies wont be with ya for who you are..they ant worth it..youll find someone

 

[dabro]

Sorry to whom read this. I would NEVER become muslim and I was just venting.

 

[loved33]

how many girls doors have you knocked on?

 

[dabro]

I'm talking about the door Jesus was referring to. ask seek knock and the door will be opened to you. I've knock so many times that my are is broke.

 

[loved33]

sorry, i thought the thread was about frustration at being single, not finding a mate?

i know you are knocking on Jesus's door.....but if you want a mate, and you've asked Jesus for one....then how many times have you actually physically asked somebody out?

or have i completely misread what this thread is about?

forgive me if I have

 

[dabro]

No I have asked saveral times but there always into material things and the relationship falls apart or I got to high of standards which I'm trying my hardest to work on but can't shake it. No I havn't just asked God and waited I've been proactive in my search but it always seems to fail for some reason.

 

[loved33]

well the fact that you are looking at why you choose people who arent good enough, or people who will avoid you for more shallow things...is good.

i would say that because you are looking at your own ways, expectations, examining them for authenticity to your 'actual' needs .....you are definately in faith , in the process of what you ask for being realised.

its just uncomfortable....i guess cos there's your own needs inside.

most people have an idea of who they are.

and then theres who they are.

some eople , not you, but i will use an example...some people want to marry the popular guy, so that they will feel 'best' 'than' all the other women who failed to get him.

but really what this is, is the person lacks genuine self worth and confidence and needs to be always 'outer bonding'....and they are all at sea with even the concept of inner bonding with themselves.

there's who we think we are, and what we think we need.....and theres what we actually need.....which sometimes may not be so fancy....but it meets who we really are.

someone who knows you and your faults and likes you....may be what some people would not consider...they would rather pretend to be 'more than' they are, impress with acheivements or things.... to get the girl who is 'gorgeous'...rather than the pretty girl who likes you ..and knows you.


your relationship with you...is key.

if you dont accept you, you wont pick someone who does either.

they ll fall for the mask you give them.....and whe they get to see the full picture..they may leave.

best to be honest with self, and not apologise or be so anxuois to ;prove'.



your relationship with you is very important in terms of loving another.

you seem to be looking at your relationship with you tho.

id say you are doing well.

you are in faith.

its usual to find after you ask God for something...to find theres a process of the thing coming to you, or you discovering it.

staying with the process is key to getting what fits you.





sounds like you are on track to me.

 

[HoneyComb Son]

dude I just saw ur pic...as a guy dont take this the wrong way please..but ur a good looking dude..lol dont worry youll find someone..keep asking...you know what..atleast your trying..u have asked girls out thats awesome..atleast your strong and bold enough to keep doing that even if it didnt work out as planned..nice job

 

[dabro]

One thing I found out about women is there into more then just looks. Like I said. I draw an SSI check. Thats a red flag and other crap which they judge me for. I'm getting there to where I don;t care anymore and just live. What other option do I have.

 

[loved33]

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Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. ~Jean Anouilh[/FONT]
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Or are you beautiful because I love you?
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[/FONT][FONT=georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif]You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face but in your heart as well. ~Author Unknown[/FONT]



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