Squirrelly

[madison1101]

I have been having an interesting start to my summer vacation, and my early sobriety. My new sponsor is awesome, focusing on me sharing my positives, and letting my sense of humor show at meetings.

I had an interesting thing happen today at my meeting at 6:00 a.m. A woman who has more time asked me why I don't share what is keeping me sober when I share. Well, I do that, except this morning. Today was a Tradition meeting, and we were discussing the 7th Tradition. I shared on that, and some good stuff that is happening in my life. Afterward, I got really paranoid about my sharing. My sponsor had told me she wanted to hear positives. This person made a blatant statement that she never hears me say how I stay sober. I know that I share how I am working the steps, and staying sober. I found myself in my head for an hour about it.

I am hoping to make my 6:00 a.m. meeting at least four times a week now. It meets six days a week at this point. It is amazing that it averages 30-35 people a day, and on Saturday, when it is a speaker meeting, it can get 40. We have a great crowd, and I feel like I missed something special when I don't get there.

Just needed to share where I am at this weekend.

 

[BobW188]

Sorry to be so long in responding. I was privileged to take over the pulpit yesterday for our vacationing pastor. Most of Saturday went to preparation and a good deal of yesterday to winding down. Glad to hear your sponsor is such a good one. I suspect your critic was in her head when she made her remark.

 

[madison1101]

Sorry to be so long in responding. I was privileged to take over the pulpit yesterday for our vacationing pastor. Most of Saturday went to preparation and a good deal of yesterday to winding down. Glad to hear your sponsor is such a good one. I suspect your critic was in her head when she made her remark.

Good to hear you do some preaching, Bob. That is awesome.

I don't know why this woman's criticism shook me up that day. In the past year, I have really tried to keep my focus on the Steps and how I am working them, where I am at on them, etc. I also share about how I got through something by either using the phone, or praying, or whatever tool I use at the time.

The weird thing is, I had not seen this woman for a long time, either she was not making the same meeting as me, or whatever, so she really has no clue how I shared in the past few months.

I am just not sure why I let this woman take up so much space in my head, which is my problem, not hers.

The irony is my sponsor is always telling me I am going great, and all sorts of good stuff lately, since my meltdown a week ago. During the crisis, she was very supportive and helped me keep my focus on me, and my sobriety.

I am doing better this week. I made two meetings since my run-in with the critic. I also worked two days at the hospital. I now have a week off, and my son is taking me to Cooperstown, NY this coming weekend to visit the Baseball Hall of Fame. I am so excited.

I appreciate the support.

Trish

 

[BobW188]

Suggestion: Take a look at yourself and see something of her in you. It might not even have to do with the specifics of what she said.
I once worked with a man who I - and several others - considered snotty, superior, and all-talk-no-action. I did not like him and he did not like me but, though I'll go so far as to say that the bosses did like me and fired him, he'd show up in my dreams now and then and we'd chat amiably like two people who had a lot in common!

Pretty easy to interpret that!

 

[madison1101]

Suggestion: Take a look at yourself and see something of her in you. It might not even have to do with the specifics of what she said.
I once worked with a man who I - and several others - considered snotty, superior, and all-talk-no-action. I did not like him and he did not like me but, though I'll go so far as to say that the bosses did like me and fired him, he'd show up in my dreams now and then and we'd chat amiably like two people who had a lot in common!

Pretty easy to interpret that!

I think one of the things that bothers me inside is that she is celebrating 19 years of sobriety, because she came into AA at the same time I did. She got it. I didn't. I would have had that same amount of time if I had not thrown away my original sobriety. It is probably me, but I sometimes get the sense that she thinks she is better than me. It is probably my inferiority/lack of self-esteem.

I forgot to mention that I had 30 days of sobriety yesterday.

Trish