Spouses sharing an email address

[snoochface]

We have 1 account, I think unless you have a reason to need a seperate account you should just have 1. I know many problems can occur when things are not shared & truthful. Ari

Well, I think that may be true for some people, but it's certainly not a generalization that should be made as a "should" for everyone. Just because things are not shared does not mean that they are, by default, not truthful.

We have separate accounts (more than one for each of us) and we both know the other's password. We'll occasionally ask the other to check our inbox for something if we're out or away from our computers. We don't hide anything from each other, but we also trust each other enough to not feel the need to check up on one another or sneak around reading their email without their knowledge.

If I get email from my ex-boyfriend, I always forward a copy to him out of respect to him, so he knows what we're talking about. Not because he asks, not because there is a lack of trust, but because there's no reason not to and I like to maintain transparency. He does the same.

Personally, I hesitate to send email to people who share addresses with their spouse. It makes me uncomfortable if I would like to discuss something of a more personal nature with one of them that I would not necessarily talk about in front of the other. An example is a friend from church who confided a personal problem on Sunday. We would love to follow up with him by email and send along some scripture, encouraging words, etc., but because he shares an email address with his wife and this problem concerns her, we won't do it. The amount of transparency others wish to maintain between them and their spouse is not for me to decide.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

I said "yes"but don't feel it needs to be that way for all christian spouses it is just what works best for us.

To be fair I should add that I have 3 e-mail accounts outside of our joint account. BUT, two are for my business and only used for such and the 3rd is only used for my freecycle account.

 

[Rebekka]

We have our own separate email addresses - husband has three (two for work), I have two (one for spam, one for serious stuff). That works best, because his work emails are none of my business (and boring, too), and he throws everything away as soon as he's seen it - I'm glad I have my own email address, or else he'd throw my email away too!

We do both have access to each other's address, and there are no secrets between us.

I don't know any couple that has a joint account, actually. But I don't have a problem with that - it's just that in our case, separate accounts are more practical.

 

[Godisgr8r]

I don't see what difference it makes. I have 3, he has 2, I know his passwords, he knows mine. I don't have anything to hide and neither does he,

 

[bluebug83]

The idea of sharing an e-mail account with my husband seems really strange, mostly because we're both geeks I like having my own address, because I chose a handle that's unique to me that I really like. It is also nice for when I order a gift for my husband on the internet (I do a lot of shopping online) so there's less risk of him stumbling across the receipt by accident. Same goes for him ordering something for me.

Although we have separate accounts, we do know each other's passwords...he really does have to know mine, since my address is hosted on his domain But I never check his address unless he specifically asks me to, and I don't think he has ever checked mine.

Sometimes I think that it would be nice to have a joint account for e-mail list purposes. For example, his e-mail address is the only one on our church's mailing list, so sometimes I only hear about things secondhand. Also, sometimes friends will send out a group e-mail and forget to include one or the other, so the one who got the e-mail has to remember to pass on the info to the other.

 

[bluebug83]

Personally, I hesitate to send email to people who share addresses with their spouse. It makes me uncomfortable if I would like to discuss something of a more personal nature with one of them that I would not necessarily talk about in front of the other. An example is a friend from church who confided a personal problem on Sunday. We would love to follow up with him by email and send along some scripture, encouraging words, etc., but because he shares an email address with his wife and this problem concerns her, we won't do it. The amount of transparency others wish to maintain between them and their spouse is not for me to decide.

That's a really interesting point. I don't think I know anyone who shares an addy with their spouse, so it doesn't affect me....not to mention my closest friends are all single, so the spouse issue is moot.

 

[Mskedi]

We don't share and it never crossed my mind that we should share. I consider correspondance confidential. He's checked my e-mail for me before, so he could probably open it if he wanted to, but I doubt he remembered my password. Maybe he does. I've nothing to hide, so he's welcome to it.

I don't know his password either. If I felt the need to look at something, I'd ask.

But to each his own. I don't think I can answer the poll -- I don't think it's a should or should not thing. It's up to each couple to decide.

 

[KillerV]

We have never thought about it. We each have our own,its never been an issue.

 

[Epoh99]

The main account that my husband and I use is a joint account....

We also have separate accounts. We use those for things that wouldn’t interest the other person (school, work, subscriptions etc.), and we each know the other person’s password. It is not because we don’t trust the other, but just because we just generally keep things open and are sometimes interested in an email they received or something.

Same here! We have the individual and shared account. We can access each other's individual accounts but neither of us have any interest to because the things we get at those addresses are things the other person aren't interested in. Our shared account is for people who want both of us to know the info (family, get togethers, church stuff).

 

[Chosen7Stone]

RDon't think less of me for responding to apoll I didn't take, but I can't really give an answer.

I don't think spouses should share an E-mail address unless there's a trust issue. For example, if one spouse has a porn addiction or has taken to flirting in Internet chatrooms, then it might be a necessary measure, though what's to prevent them from getting a separate secret E-mail address to pursue their unsavory exploits?

So I think it depends on the couple.

 

[micbmac]

I'm not really sure that I understand this question. Why should married couples have joint accounts? Because they don't trust each other? That is really silly. If someone is going to cheat on his or her spouse, they will do it w/or w/o a joint email account. I'm so blessed that I don't have to worry abt stuff like that.

 

[GolfingMom]

My DH has his work email and a personal acct. I have 2 personal acct's. He knows my password and I know his personal acct password but we never check eachothers accts. There's no need.

 

[Cordy]

Why should married couples have joint accounts? Because they don't trust each other? That is really silly. If someone is going to cheat on his or her spouse, they will do it w/or w/o a joint email account.

I agree.

We did not even consider "trust" issues when we opened our joint account. We just thought it would be nice.

 

[heatherq17]

Its a personal choice. I have my own and he nevers goes on his...

 

[Beth1231]

We know each other's passwords and when we got married, we just never thought to join email accounts. I guess the inconvenience of meshing address books or something, I don't know. It doesn't bother me a bit that we have different accounts *shrug*

 

[JustBeachy]

We've never had a joint email.
Once in awhile I use his password to look at his email just out of curiosity. He always knows when I do it - I don't want it to seem as though I'm going behind his back. He doesn't know my passwords because I change them often, but he knows and trusts me enough to not even worry about it.
I do have one friend who's 'not allowed' to get her own account. Her husband is very controlling of her, to the point that even when she and I IM, he sits next to her and reads everything. So joint emails touch a bit of a nerve with me.

 

[SabrinaFair]

We have a family email we share, we always have, its just not a big deal. I don't care one way or the other. Didn't give it much thought.

I guess I like it, and in some small way it represents our togetherness and unity.

Overall, I don't think the topic should be a big deal in marriage unless there has been infidelity which requires more accountability. Seems like there are so many more important issues that we face as a couple that this one would be one of the many small foxes that spoil the vine?

 

[Digit]

No I think that's a silly assumption. I think you can have a shared one, but to expect it is to assume and we all know how that saying goes.

Husband and wife may well have access to each other's e-mail.

Digit

 

[Lena75]

We have shared email addresses. No big deal here.

 

[MaidforHim]

We've shared an email address for 13 yrs (boy do I feel old now!).

I also have a secondary address that I use for personal interests. However, I have made my user name and pw available to my husband, voluntarily. He's never used it, but has access to it.

Having little private, secrets, just seems like something that could make a spouse suspicous. I don't ever want to do something that would make him feel uncomfortable or suspicious of me. It just seems wiser to keep this type of info available to your spouse.

I know some people who if they had done this same thing it might have helped keep them honest about what they were doing online. Looking up old girls and such.

My husband has just the one email address we share, he's not a big fan of email anyway.

We've always been really open about this kind of stuff and it works for us.... 26 yrs together and counting!!! Thank you Jesus!!!