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spooning buddies
- Thread starter awesome liver
- Start date
alldogsDONOTgotoheaven
Regular Member
freealaska said:And, if spooning is purely platonic then is it necessary to restrict it to the opposite gender?
I dont' know how many guys you'd find spooning with other guys...I'm sure there are lots of girls who wouldn't mind (a few in this thread even).
I cuddle with my monkeys...and my pillow. So uh get a monkey?
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but the thing is, he keeps saying platonic friends. Platonic means no romance involved, but spooning is an action that intimate people participate in, so I don't understand how spooning and platonic can be used together. You don't cuddle with platonic. Platonic feelings with the opposite sex, if you want a definition, is when you're friends with that person and treat them almost just like you with a friend of the same sex. Would you spoon with a platonic guy friend? No. WHy? Because you're just platonic friends. So I think you and your 'platonic' female are more than platonic.
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lanajean1126
Active Member
I like to lay with my boyfriend when we watch movies and stuff like that. I like to have the comfort and security that it provides. It isn't sexual at all, just a feeling of warmth is how I would explain it. But I could never imagine laying/spooning with a guy friend.... The only thing I think you may like about it is that feeling of touch. As humuns we need to feel the touch of others to survive. Incubator babies will not grow without touch. So maybe you're not getting enough hand shakes or hugs. But I think spooning is ok but I also think it communicates some type of connection between the two people spooning.
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I
InTheFlame
Guest
AL - been there done that, so I know that it's possible without overtly bringing sex into the picture.
Here's the thing that bugs me about the scenario. WHY are you needing that physical intimacy? My suspicion is (based on MY experience, so it could be off-base) that you're not overly good at becoming emotionally intimate with people, and you're using physical closeness to 'fill' that ache for true intimacy.
I've learnt that this tendency is NOT a good thing to foster. It mucks up relationships (friendships, mentoring, romantic, all sorts), which need to be based on REAL intimacy. It means that when you're needing support to get thru a struggle or trial, it's not there, because you haven't built real relationships with anyone... they're just superficial and/or physical.
Here's the thing that bugs me about the scenario. WHY are you needing that physical intimacy? My suspicion is (based on MY experience, so it could be off-base) that you're not overly good at becoming emotionally intimate with people, and you're using physical closeness to 'fill' that ache for true intimacy.
I've learnt that this tendency is NOT a good thing to foster. It mucks up relationships (friendships, mentoring, romantic, all sorts), which need to be based on REAL intimacy. It means that when you're needing support to get thru a struggle or trial, it's not there, because you haven't built real relationships with anyone... they're just superficial and/or physical.
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i think you're reading too much into the meager few lines i've shared. maybe you're examining yourself and projecting your situation onto my life.
pop-psych aside ...
there is intimacy there, but the relationship isn't based on that. it's a friendship realizing that we're happy in each other's company and safe enough that the other won't take advantage of the other. trust. there is love here, but in a way that's not what people are socialized into thinking. intimacy, sex, trust, etc., all those aren't love as a whole. it's more intrinsic than that.
pop-psych aside ...
there is intimacy there, but the relationship isn't based on that. it's a friendship realizing that we're happy in each other's company and safe enough that the other won't take advantage of the other. trust. there is love here, but in a way that's not what people are socialized into thinking. intimacy, sex, trust, etc., all those aren't love as a whole. it's more intrinsic than that.
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Soulwings
A true original.
I agree with what others have said here. Just my $0.02 ... you said that there is another girl whom you 'love' ... well, suppose she found out you'd been spooning with another girl. Okay, so maybe it isn't sexual. Maybe it's just harmless and all. But perhaps she doesn't know that ... I wouldn't date any guy who spooned. I don't care if it's like you say it is; it doesn't seem right to me, and might come across the same to others.
*shrugs* Like someone said ... avoid the appearance of evil.
Oh, and just a question in general for you ... not planning on attacking you or anything - but do you think that if you are in a relationship, is spooning with someone other than your girlfriend alright? *curious*
Weird topic.
*shrugs* Like someone said ... avoid the appearance of evil.
Oh, and just a question in general for you ... not planning on attacking you or anything - but do you think that if you are in a relationship, is spooning with someone other than your girlfriend alright? *curious*
Weird topic.
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there's no chance with the other girl. call it intuition. call it obviousness.
when i get around to getting into a relationship, i'm going to assume that she knows where i draw boundaries and will just have to trust me and if she can't, well then it's not much of a relationship.
when i get around to getting into a relationship, i'm going to assume that she knows where i draw boundaries and will just have to trust me and if she can't, well then it's not much of a relationship.
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I
InTheFlame
Guest
awesome liver said:
I would've thought the statement '(based on MY experience, so it could be off-base)' was pretty clear!You didn't answer why you're needing that physical intimacy, btw...
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Sojourner<><
Incoherent Freedom Fighter
Preposterous!
A) Spooning with a guy???
I'm not going to get into that one.
B) If you hope to spoon with a girl in a non-sexual way I'd hope you're a eunuch.
A) Spooning with a guy???
I'm not going to get into that one.B) If you hope to spoon with a girl in a non-sexual way I'd hope you're a eunuch.
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VanillaRose
Active Member
Sojourner<>< said:Preposterous!
A) Spooning with a guy???
B) If you hope to spoon with a girl in a non-sexual way I'd hope you're a eunuch.
Haha ROFL
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Quantum_Man
Senior Veteran
You mentioned you are in love with another girl that doesn't care for you, and you enjoy the intimacy "platonic spooning" provides without all the extra hassle. Sounds like you are getting your relational fulfillment from different girls. I can't get what I want from just one girl, so I'll have to get it from multiple girls.
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