I'm involved in a 12 step program and have had some reservations about my sponcer soly because it's a spiritual program and my christian background and her view of God is just not the same. I've been told to be weary of putting nonchristians in authority over my life, and feel like having her as my sponcer is doing that. What is your opinion of having a nonchristian sponcer in these types of programs?
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Sponcers
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madison1101
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I have been in AA for nineteen years, and once struggled with your concerns. I prayed about it, and found a mature Christian woman at my church to mentor me in my walk with the Lord at that time. This freed me to find any sponsor I believed God would have for me, as I made it very clear in the beginning to that sponsor what my Christian faith meant to me.
What I learned was that my sponsor knew something I did not know. She knew how to stay sober longer than I did. She guided me in working the 12 steps of AA. She encouraged me to pray everyday, and do my rought and fifth steps. She never encouraged me to do anything against my beliefs.
I never saw a sponsor as someone in authority over me. I saw her more as a guide, to help me find my way in my newfound sobriety. Besides, I do not know that it is wrong to have unbelievers in authority. My bosses are not always believers, neither is our president, or our governor always a believer.
Just food for thought.
Good luck with your program.
Trish
What I learned was that my sponsor knew something I did not know. She knew how to stay sober longer than I did. She guided me in working the 12 steps of AA. She encouraged me to pray everyday, and do my rought and fifth steps. She never encouraged me to do anything against my beliefs.
I never saw a sponsor as someone in authority over me. I saw her more as a guide, to help me find my way in my newfound sobriety. Besides, I do not know that it is wrong to have unbelievers in authority. My bosses are not always believers, neither is our president, or our governor always a believer.
Just food for thought.
Good luck with your program.
Trish
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devonian
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A sponsor does not have to be a permanent thing, nor should they be a person who is in authority over you. They are simply someone who can help you understand and follow the steps. It is the steps that will help you recover, not the sponsor. If they are placing themselves in authority over you, they may not a good sponsor. There is also no reason you cannot start with one sponsor and switch once you find a christian sponsor.
Keep in mind the book "Alchoholics Anonymous" does not contain the word sponsor or sponsorship in the main body of the text. It is possible to recover simply by following the steps. That is not to say a sponsor is not a valuable resource, find one, and let them show you how to apply the steps.
Also, if you have concerns about what your sponsor is telling you, you can always post your questions here, or better yet, ask him/her to show you where it is in the big book.
Keep in mind the book "Alchoholics Anonymous" does not contain the word sponsor or sponsorship in the main body of the text. It is possible to recover simply by following the steps. That is not to say a sponsor is not a valuable resource, find one, and let them show you how to apply the steps.
Also, if you have concerns about what your sponsor is telling you, you can always post your questions here, or better yet, ask him/her to show you where it is in the big book.
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Wow I'm suprised no one saw an issue with it (thus far) - I've been given a hard time by the church folk about how I need to get out of this situation. I understand she is Wiccan and we don't view things eye to eye, but she has been a great help and great friend and the sponcorship just formed. But now that it's formed, and i have no other person that i'd want to be a sponcor, I think it's the world's worst witness to be "hey you don't believe in Jesus so you cannot be my sponcor. thanks bye"
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devonian
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I do have an issue with it, especially since she practices witchcraft. But my point is that you should not put her in authority over you, and I would continue to seek out a Christian sponsor. Her role, as with all sponsors, is to show you in the book how to work the steps.
If she is trying to impose her idea's concerning God on you, then she is not working directly from the instructions in the book. The steps say that "...we decided to turn out will and life over to God as we understood him (Pg 60, 2nd paragraph from the bottom)"
1. It does not say "...as your sponser understands them."
2. When the book says "we", it is referring to the first 100 people of AA (Forward to the first edition, first sentance), who believed in the God of the bible. (There are numerous online resources that document this, as well as published books)
3. The first 100 people didn't have the "Big book" yet - they were the ones who wrote it. When they sponsored people, they used the bible. (Also documented online and in published books)
If she is not following the instructions in the book, then find another sponser.
Your friends at church are well meaning, but if they are not alcoholics, they may not realize the grave danger that you are in. If I took the time to look for a Christian sponsor when I started, I might not have made it. I want to encourage you to follow the steps, but also to remain true to Christianity. The book is based on Christian principles. If you insist that your sponsor shows you in the book where her advice comes from, you should be able to differentiate her opinion from good advice.
If she is trying to impose her idea's concerning God on you, then she is not working directly from the instructions in the book. The steps say that "...we decided to turn out will and life over to God as we understood him (Pg 60, 2nd paragraph from the bottom)"
1. It does not say "...as your sponser understands them."
2. When the book says "we", it is referring to the first 100 people of AA (Forward to the first edition, first sentance), who believed in the God of the bible. (There are numerous online resources that document this, as well as published books)
3. The first 100 people didn't have the "Big book" yet - they were the ones who wrote it. When they sponsored people, they used the bible. (Also documented online and in published books)
If she is not following the instructions in the book, then find another sponser.
Your friends at church are well meaning, but if they are not alcoholics, they may not realize the grave danger that you are in. If I took the time to look for a Christian sponsor when I started, I might not have made it. I want to encourage you to follow the steps, but also to remain true to Christianity. The book is based on Christian principles. If you insist that your sponsor shows you in the book where her advice comes from, you should be able to differentiate her opinion from good advice.
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ww2pigeon
Junior Member
I have found that it is best to find a person that has a similar belief in God as you do. It is OK to fire your sponsor. Some people are better at sponsoring and other are not. Look around and Listen when others are speaking, you can get a good idea what they believe after you hear their message. Then ask them if the believe in God or if they are Christian. If they evade the issue look for someone else. That is why it is so important in the A.A. fellowship or any other 12 step group to listen more then talk. Because you learn to hear things that most people miss because they are so busy thinking about what they are going to say. I hope this helped. And remember that the 12 steps where taken from the bible. That was the text Bill W and Dr. Bob used in the beginning. Sometimes a little reminding is good for those that sit at the tables. God Bless and keep us posted.
God; I ask that you guild this young person in finding the right sponsor one that can answer their question and help them through the steps. And can be supportive and know when to let go. In Jesus Name, Amen.
God; I ask that you guild this young person in finding the right sponsor one that can answer their question and help them through the steps. And can be supportive and know when to let go. In Jesus Name, Amen.
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madison1101
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My first sponsor was a Christian. She was well meaning and very helpful, but not the best person for me. I ended up drinking right away and found it necessary to change sponsors. God has allowed many people to help me along the way.
You would do well to pray and ask God to guide you to a different sponsor at this time. A Wiccan may not be the best thing for you at this time. Don't drop her as your sponsor until God shows you the next person who is to be your sponsor.
God bless.
Trish
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If she helps you stay sober why would you fix what is not broken. Church people are often well meaning and ignorant about what it takes for addicts to stay clean.
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B
BlueLady
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A sponsor is someone is just along the path from you and helping you along with suggestions that have helped them.
I have had a few and they had different beliefs and I learnt something from each one.
Don't let fear rob you from something that is working in your life.
If something she is saying or doing is making you uncomfortable practice honesty and talk to her ?
I have had a few and they had different beliefs and I learnt something from each one.
Don't let fear rob you from something that is working in your life.
If something she is saying or doing is making you uncomfortable practice honesty and talk to her ?
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