Spirtual Drifiting

[cinni]

My best mate is married and her and her husband are christians except her husband never seems happy he thiknks the world hates him and makes life miserable for everyone including his family.

One year ago they lived up north and while living there they drifted from one church to another because he was never happy in one.

Since they moved here they haved been going to my church but now he wants to go to another church he says because people don;t talk to him.

I said to my mate that should not god be the focus of where we go to church? Why is he focuising on the social aspect which i admit is a bonus if you can make freinds. But going to church is to me about spirtual growth it seems church hopping is not having any great effect on their marrage as she loves the church they are in but he wants to move again and this is causing her great distress.

I don;t know what to advise her on doing any ideas?

 

[HumbleBee]

Cinni,

Would seem your mate's hubby is the problem and not the churches they been in...he running from his own troublesome issues. Maybe people aren't talking to him because he seems unapproachable? Also by church hopping he avoiding accountability...he not allowing anyone to get to know him well enough to keep him accountable...so in essence he running from God and His Holy Spirit! Doesn't matter what church he goes to...tiz the Presence of his Most High God upon his life that making him uncomfortable and antsy...the Spirit of conviction is within him, so he certainly can't outrun the Holy Spirit!

Your friend may just have to put her proverbial foot down...no more church hopping...and seek God as to the underlying issue of her hubby's spiritual restlessness...could be pride hiding a low self-esteem?

 

[New_Wineskin]

There is nothing wrong with "Church hopping" . People say not to "forsake the assembling" . Those that only meet with one group are doing just that - forsaking the asembling of those in the other groups .

 

[ninja]

There is nothing wrong with "Church hopping" . People say not to "forsake the assembling" . Those that only meet with one group are doing just that - forsaking the asembling of those in the other groups .

Yeah but appears that he isn't "church hopping" for the right reasons

 

[Christian Dude]

I've church hopped... but it isn't forsaking the assembly as New_Wineskin refers it as.

Forsaking the assembly is when another church invites you to come there, but you still have a home church.

HumbleBee makes a great point.

 

[New_Wineskin]

Yeah but appears that he isn't "church hopping" for the right reasons

People not talking to him is not a right reason ? You and cinni seem to be saying that knowing one another isn't the point of "church" while bee talks of "accountability" which would necessitate there being a deep personal contact with others . That is a huge gap of ideas on why one *must* "go to church" . I suppose the "purpose" of "church" would be another topic . Well , I don't see any advice except that the two talk it over until they can agree on something . That may mean participating in seperate groups .

 

[cinni]

if he wants to make freinds join a club i just think he is losiong the focus of why he is really there.

and the fact his wife is happy in the church and he just says nope we are leaving with no consideration for how she feels. and because the right thing for her to do is to do what her husband wants it just seems unjust on his part and she is losing any trust she ever had for him as he always does this never stays at one church.

would seem their are deep rooted issues he needs to work on

 

[HumbleBee]

People not talking to him is not a right reason ? You and cinni seem to be saying that knowing one another isn't the point of "church" while bee talks of "accountability" which would necessitate there being a deep personal contact with others . That is a huge gap of ideas on why one *must* "go to church" . I suppose the "purpose" of "church" would be another topic . Well , I don't see any advice except that the two talk it over until they can agree on something . That may mean participating in seperate groups .

Proverbs exhorts for a man to make friends, he himself must be friendly. So like I said before, perhaps this church hopper is unapproachable. People probably would talk to him, if he made the effort to start chatting with them first.

Hmmm his church hopping could also be trying to avoid serving. The longer he stays in one place, the more responsibility he would have to serve in some capacity. And right cinni, he should be going there for Jesus, to worship Him, serve Him, and grow in Him.

 

[New_Wineskin]

Since the OP was about a specific individual ( or two ) and neither are here to give specific input into the situation , I will leave it alone . I didn't want to sidetrack the thread into hopping even though it seems that may have been a part of the OP .

 

[cinni]

Hmmm his church hopping could also be trying to avoid serving. The longer he stays in one place, the more responsibility he would have to serve in some capacity. And right cinni, he should be going there for Jesus, to worship Him, serve Him, and grow in Him.

um not so much ya know i mean in our church we have to complete studies befreo we can move into a leadership capacity which is right i feel. And liek everyone else he is not forced to do these studies but if he wants to be up front then he must.

I have no desire to be in a leadership position at this time but i am doing them anyway for my own spirtual growth. Getting back to this man though for awhile he was in the worship team as the drummer. He was asked recently not to return to the drums till he completed the studies like everyone else on the worship team to this he took offence.

So i don't know if hes afraid of serving per say

 

[heartofheaven]

um not so much ya know i mean in our church we have to complete studies befreo we can move into a leadership capacity which is right i feel. And liek everyone else he is not forced to do these studies but if he wants to be up front then he must.

I have no desire to be in a leadership position at this time but i am doing them anyway for my own spirtual growth. Getting back to this man though for awhile he was in the worship team as the drummer. He was asked recently not to return to the drums till he completed the studies like everyone else on the worship team to this he took offence.

So i don't know if hes afraid of serving per say

What kind of studies would one have to do to become a drummer? I stopped going to a church for the reason of having to 'tithe' before ministering in the worship team,also. Forget that! not that i didn't want to tithe to the Lord, but because man told me that I HAD to was the reason.Man doesn't have that right,only God does. If he leaves because no one talks to him,is another good reason to leave,that is if it isn't because he is not being friendly,sometimes people don't like others,because they are judgemental,or sometimes, because you carry a certain child like faith about you that stirs others that may be jealous,because they can sometimes be hypocrites. Or the guy is just a jerk! its one or the other! But you are right about asking his wife.......my husband would never try to leave a place without both agreeing! unless of course she isnt living a 'holy' life,that would make a difference also.Prayer and maybe asking him directly might help........if you can.

 

[cinni]

What kind of studies would one have to do to become a drummer? I stopped going to a church for the reason of having to 'tithe' before ministering in the worship team,also. Forget that! not that i didn't want to tithe to the Lord, but because man told me that I HAD to was the reason.Man doesn't have that right,only God does. If he leaves because no one talks to him,is another good reason to leave,that is if it isn't because he is not being friendly,sometimes people don't like others,because they are judgemental,or sometimes, because you carry a certain child like faith about you that stirs others that may be jealous,because they can sometimes be hypocrites. Or the guy is just a jerk! its one or the other! But you are right about asking his wife.......my husband would never try to leave a place without both agreeing! unless of course she isnt living a 'holy' life,that would make a difference also.Prayer and maybe asking him directly might help........if you can.

his wife is one of the most on fire for god people i know and he well i am mnot going to say what i really think of him for reason i might look like i am judging him all i will say is i tolerate him because hes married to my best mate and i don;t like the way he treats her.

however the studies we do are pretty standard studies as far as i know they are standard in most penticostal churches across nz. maybe man does not have the right to force one to studie before being in leadership i think the whole goal is to determine who is willing to serve god and who is not within the church. however i could be wrong on this point since i am a new christian.

As for getting back to the issue of his leaving without her agreement when they lived up north he had a habit of hopping churches then it just makes me actually queston is level of commitment to any church.

I have come to the conclusion all i can do for my freind is be there for her and encourage her and seek god in prayer to what they should do.

 

[~RENEE~]

Yes Cinni he is going to church for the wrong reason. We need to go to church for God not people. And church hopping is dangerous to your soul because if you are not stable in a paticular church then satan can get at you that much easier I've seen it happen. When the husband of a dear friend of mine went church hopping she stayed where she was eventually he came back. People can backslide easier when they are not settled. It sounds like your friend's husband may be running from something. Nothing that you can say can help only God can deal with this. Pray for them Cinni. And maybe through your prayers God will send someone in to their lives that will say the right words maybe he will give you words to speak. Support your friend and pray for them both. She needs your friendship right now like never before.

 

[cinni]

my frend rang before she said she is staying put she says she feels to insecure to go to any other church at this time so therefore if he wishes to go somewhere else he can but it will be on his own

 

[HumbleBee]

By serving didn't really mean leadership, meant in any capacity an usher, doorman etc. Thought maybe he had a too good to serve atty. Wonderful that he was on the praise and worship team! Totally agree with leadership training...those on the frontlines leading God's People must be strong in Divine character and held accountable. God Most High guides leaders closely as they go before His flock. They represent God, must lead lovingly and wisely.

So this church hopper refusing to do the leadership course and him mistreating his wife says much about his heart. Explains why he running from people and from the Holy Spirit of conviction!

 

[cinni]

By serving didn't really mean leadership, meant in any capacity an usher, doorman etc. Thought maybe he had a too good to serve atty. Wonderful that he was on the praise and worship team! Totally agree with leadership training...those on the frontlines leading God's People must be strong in Divine character and held accountable. God Most High guides leaders closely as they go before His flock. They represent God, must lead lovingly and wisely.

So this church hopper refusing to do the leadership course and him mistreating his wife says much about his heart. Explains why he running from people and from the Holy Spirit of conviction!

uha

 

[CrossingthroughtheBlood]

You will never come to rest except in his rest.