Special Friends

[amysays]

I was wondering if any of the other "older single" women here had experienced what I have lately......

I have dated three different guys this year, mostly at different times, and I have also developed a friendship with another woman I know, who is also a personal trainer.

Last weekend, my friend (I'll call Ann) and I spent alot of time together. We worked out together, did some shopping and ate out a couple times. As I look back, I am thinking "Wow ... what a fun and relaxing weekend I had!".

And, I began to realize how stressful I have felt when I've been dating guys. Its like when I'm dating a guy, I'm worring about how I look, trying to really be "on" for him, do I call or let him call .... all that kind of stuff I really don't enjoy. Also, it usually turns out these guys have so much baggage or just want to jump me in bed that it drives me crazy!!!

With Ann, I am just myself and I like that. I am truly wondering if I would be happier living with her, than trying to find some guy who will probably drive me crazy!!

Just wondering if you have ever felt that way?????

Amy

 

[PassionateOne]

Well, After a couple years of 'healing' from my divorce and not dating, at all. I got back out there for about a year and HATED it!! Yes, I'm, basically, a more casual 'hanging out' type of person. And for these dates I would get dressed up to look my best and felt uncomfortable throughout the whole date. I guess, I was never really into any of these guys and I did this for a year, until I met my bf. Of course, I dressed up to first meet him, but something happened to where I just naturally felt comfortable with him. I can't really explain it.....it just felt right with him and I didn't have to be anything other than my 'casual self'.

 

[Princess Pea]

I know what you're getting at, I think. My current epiphany was that when I meet a guy, and I'm as comfortable with him as I am with my girlfriends, that will be the one.

Of course, my comfort level with my girlfriends didn't develop overnight, and I wouldn't expect a romance to happen that way either. However, I do think I need to approach possible romances in something of the same way I develop new friendships (although obviously there would be differences.) Kind of a low-key, "let's see if we enjoy each other's company, and if we do, let's keep doing this" kind of way.

 

[restore]

I think being who I m is so important.

Love is a inner connection thing.

 

[country woman]

I have a special/best friend who has always been there for me

 

[soccerdad66]

Well, I can tell you it's the same for guys too. It's just easier to relate, and not having to worry, do they like me? do I like them? Did I say something wrong?

Who wants that? You want to be able to just hang out, no worry about what you say, how you say it, or just sit there and not have to say a thing.

Ideally, dating should be like that. Like my friend said, it's like shopping, try it on, if you don't like it, put it back on the shelf. You're not going to try on every single item on the rack, just the ones you like.

 

[GritsnGrace]

I really can't say, as I don't date. I haven't met anyone I want to spend that kind of time with.

 

[tryingtobeagain]

I am blessed to have a whole pack of women who are there for me. When my husband left me they really did everything they could for me including getting together to read a particular play that I find really healing (we act it out whenever one of us is going through something). I have one friend who lived closer than the rest so it seems like we're always together and her fiance works shift work so alot of the time it her avoiding being home alone.

I really understand what you're saying though. I'm looking at the future and thinking how great it's going to be when I buy a home and it will be the home that I choose by myself and I can fix it up the way I want for my daughter and I. I'm actually getting really excited about stuff like this because I used to do things to please my husband and now I feel like our home will be totally directed at the things my daughter and I enjoy. I love having stress free nights where my girls and I sit around eating cheesecake in our sweats and watch movies or just laugh a whole lot. My girls have implemented "girls night" which is every Friday night so that I won't be sitting home alone. We get together and do whatever we feel like that evening.... as long as we're together and having fun!

 

[porterross]

I like hanging out with my daughter more than anyone else, but of course that will not be possible in a few years as she goes her way in life.

Because of the depth and level of fulfillment of that relationship, though, I don't see the need to go on a traditional, uncomfortable date and am not too concerned with being committed right now. Even so, I refuse to spend much time alone with someone in a romantic setting whom I don't know, or wish to know, well enough to be comfortable with, which eliminates about 99.999% of the men on the planet.

I do prefer the company of male friends to women, though. They are just easier to talk to and much less likely to play games or go hormonal on me.