Yes I wish I would have seen it before, but, as we know..
I'm not going to seek out any unbelieving man, as naturally, that's not exactly interesting to me, as its too far away from me now, but I don't know though, about the scripture regarding unequivocally joked. As there are so many Christian camps almost regarding the issue. One says no screaming one says offer meat and not about marriage, yet another opinion. Whos right, and not? It doesn't help, that in the most cases, except for the few I've experienced, there's not been much difference between non believers and believers. We know there is, but in regards to men or people generally I've seen few changes unfortunately Which makes you just ponder more. Actually getting scared as well for a Christian guy!
But yes I wish id known. I'm just not sure it would been better. Those Christians I dated tried to take advantage. Only one didn't and he had impossible beauty standards to the point he was still single and a virgin at 40, and turned out to have a sexual addiction and keep on telling me what he wants to do. Sigh.
Thank you so much for your prayers!
I don't think you need deliverance. 1 John 1:9 says that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I think you have done a pretty good job of that here. But to be on the safe side, I suggest that you repeat everything you have said here to God, and you will feel that weight lift off you. He is within earshot of your voice. The Scripture says, "His eye is on the righteous (in Christ), and His ears are open to their prayers." He loves to hear about all the good, bad and ugly about your life. It is because Jesus died for you and took away the punishment and shame of sin that you can have the courage and boldness to tell God everything, even exposing the skeletons in your closet!
AOG doctrine says that the baptism with the Spirit is a subsequent event after conversion. Others believe you get Him at conversion. Doesn't really matter which, but to be sure, here are some steps to receiving.
1. Believe that it is God's will for you, including tongues.
2. Ask for the baptism and tongues ("Everything by prayer and supplication make your requests to God."
3. Receive the baptism and tongues into your life. ("He or she who asks, receives") Your prayer here would be: "I now receive the baptism with the Spirit and tongues into my life right now!"
At this point you are baptised with the Spirit. Because it happens in your spirit, you don't necessarily have to feel anything. It comes through faith. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy and peace, so it will not be surprising that you will feel those things when your faith takes hold.
Now, you can speak in tongues, and because you have taken the Scriptural steps of faith, you cannot receive anything other than the genuine gift. So, if those words are still in your head, speak them out and don't stop speaking. You own unique language will flow out.
Don't wait for some mysterious force to move your mouth. That will not be of God. But you have to activate your faith by doing the speaking, and then the flow of language will come out of your inner being.
If you have trouble knowing how to start, you can "prime the pump" with these words:
Rebusunda kawandi neemundaya kitawanga tamandai.
These are words in my tongue, and when you say them and get used to saying them, and then use them as your springboard to start speaking and not stop, you will leave my words behind, and your own unique language will flow out.
Try it, and see what happens. You will be pleasantly surprised.