That is what I would expect a man to say. Does your mother really think this? You say "they" say that.
And in case a man really supposes he can speak for what every woman thinks . . . this can mean he does not know how to love people. Possibly, he has not gotten to know and love a variety of people so he can realize not all woman are alike.
So . . . in case this is so . . . they brought you up. So, it is possible they have somehow passed on unloving ways to you. And their unloving ways in you could be sneaking around to have you doing things not loving the way Jesus wants. I know, in my case, anyway, I have discovered things in me which could have come from my parents, and I have needed correction.
So, I say trust God to truly make you the way you need to become, so you can get with a genuinely Christian woman.
Trust God for however He knows you yourself need correction. And consider Hebrews 12:4-14 about what is involved in real correction by God Himself in us.
And I will offer >
> it is possible to find a really Christian person, but there are reasons why God's word says we need
"longsuffering" (Ephesians 4:2) and
"forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (in Ephesians 4:31-32). And >
"Do all things without complaining and disputing," (Philippians 2:14) And,
"Husbands love your wives, and do not be bitter toward them." (Colossians 3:19)
Because . . . if I understand this right > even mature Christians can still have things that are wrong; so you need to be ready with that
"longsuffering" and forgiveness, for if and when you discover the real truth about your wife and other very special Christian companions.
When you find out the real truth about her, will you still love her? With God, our love will increase > we will become better and more mature in how we love and bless and care for and have hope for . . . any person.
How we really are can come out only after we are very closely involved with someone. After you are married, then can be when you will discover you are not be as strong in love, as you supposed. And then is when we need to seek God for real correction, not to merely be criticizing someone else and blaming anyone else
Before I got with my lady friend, I knew there could be times when things would come out about my weakness and her faults. And then I would need real deep correction so I could become a genuinely loving person with her, and not so charmed. And yes during the pandemic we were more involved, at times, with each other, and that brought out my weakness so I could get nasty and controlling; it didn't matter if she had been doing something wrong > my bad ways of reacting were proof of how I myself needed to pray and depend on God to really correct and mature me. And then see how I could be caring and creative with her and encourage her in any way she needs to do better.
And I would tell her, see, I am not so great, after all, and I need real correction much more. But she says she still wants me
and at times I ask her if she does.
And our love seems to be better and better, deeper, quiet but caring and strong . . . not just charming and romance. She told someone I am more mature than she is. Excuse me? lololololololololololololol
So, I now see how God can bring us to a special someone, so then we can discover how we really are and seek God with each other for real correction and maturing in His way of loving. We can tend to attract together with someone who really is more like we are in our character; but then is when we together can learn with Jesus how to love in a close relationship. And then help others.
By the way > Jacob had Leah, and he did not find her to be attractive and he did not love her. So, how did the LORD handle that?
Genesis 29:31
He did love Rachel who was quite beautiful. But the LORD expected him to love Leah, and the LORD enforced that. Therefore, the LORD was not going to have Jacob dictating to God, about if Jacob found Leah to be attractive or not, I would say.
But yes in my opinion, there are both men and women who have a major problem, that they can not love someone unless someone looks attractive, is charming, tones one's voice nicely, talks smart. There is what I call the "You can use me" act which worldly people look for. And even predators and con artists can put on this act and fool people into feeling they are trustworthy and desirable.
So, in case your parents have not found out how to love and how to depend on God to guide them . . . make sure you get wise to any of their ways which they might have passed on to you. Their ways could be sneaky, showing up in you in some different way of not loving any and all people the way God desires, and not first seeking our Heavenly Father for His personal guidance. You could be self-depending in other ways, but still self dependent, for example. They might use arguing and intimidation to get things they want, but you might have other ways of lording yourself over other people so you can use them . . . trying to control people, versus leading and relating by example >
"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)
So . . . in my case I understand I am never to try to lord myself over my lady friend, but always win her to what is good, by good example and encouraging her . . . while trusting God to make her character the right way so what she does can be good for her. If we only change our acting, instead we need how God will change our character so we are loving the way He desires.
