Soulmates?

[the_man]

Yes, I agree with that. Maybe soulmates is the wrong word for it. Should we instead call it "the one God has created to be our spouse" or "the one God chose to one day be our spouse"?

We would then have to refine it again, if there are more than one.

 

[Glorianna]

This is true. I thought that was obvious by what I said!

 

[catch22]

I disagree. Soulmates are very real. God would not haphazardy unite two people as one in marriage. I think the idea of compatibility is the dangerous one. Which of us is to say who is most compatible to be our spouse? Again, this takes God out of the equation. That's YOU judging whos best for you, and not God. It is only in Him that we can find the truth of these things.

 

[Glorianna]

I disagree. Soulmates are very real. God would not haphazardy unite two people as one in marriage. I think the idea of compatibility is the dangerous one. Which of us is to say who is most compatible to be our spouse? Again, this takes God out of the equation. That's YOU judging whos best for you, and not God. It is only in Him that we can find the truth of these things.

I definitely agree with this. Thanks for all of your input catch22.

 

[catch22]

You're welcome Glorianna!

 

[plum]

I do believe the term "soulmate" is being given a few meanings in this thread...
and perhaps we should DEFINE it before disagreeing *chuckle*

 

[Glorianna]

That's what I've noticed. Anyone willing to define it for us?

 

[ouse]

personally i dont beleive in soulmates.... because its all having real love and that takes lots of years to develop, i mean, even people in arranged marrages lean to love each other

 

[Glorianna]

What if people in arranged marriages are soulmates?

 

[ouse]

then they probubbly wouldnt know it, or beleive in soulmates to begin with...... horray for irony

 

[Glorianna]

I don't know about that!

 

[Im_A]

I've said this before and I'll say it again; I think the whole idea of soulmates is a dangerous one . The saducees asked Christ a similar question (Matt. 22:23-33) which we should not ignore. Soulmates (the very term of which) implies that there is something beyond this earth (something spiritual) to such a union. (that's not biblical...unless you are willing to take the view that ever believer will be your soulmate...which defeats the purpose of the concept of soulmates in the first place).

I think most that do take this soulmate concept, take it in hindsight of their situation (i.e. I met lydia (fictitious character) and i can't imagine being with anyone else, hence she is my soulmate). There is nothing wrong with that, but like the saducees I'd ask, who was Elizabeth Elliots soulmate? (Liz elliot married 4 times...previous husbands died).

I think another danger (which I don't accuse present company of doing) is allowing the soulmate theory drive the relationship. You see, the idea of soulmate means, this is the one person for you, so if they are out of line, hmm...maybe this was not the person for me, have I made a mistake? In today's society divorce is not frowned upon for many reasons, one of which is: "she wasn't the one for me", "I met my soulmate". The nature of marriage is such that it is hard work, discipline, commitment, and as a wise recently married friend of mine once said "it beats out any ounce of selfishness you have". But I should digress (and turn around) because I'm preaching to the choir.

Now, I am not so bold to say I have it figured out how God does this. But I lean more towards to concept or theory that states there are many people that are compatible for you, some you will meet and some you won't, but the one you choose is your life partner (until death or divorce (in acceptable cases)).

But officially, my stance is this:

Prov 30:19
"There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:
the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden."

Whatever theory you side with, I think we can all agree that God is in control. Amen?

very well put. i find myself falling more into this. that God's soulmate is the one we use our FREE-WILL choice to have for the rest of our lives. now i will go as far to say that i believe God does lead us to that person that is in His Plan, because i do believe God knows how our lives are going to pan out. but i think we have to chose and want that, and if we give up, then either we'll go back to that person, or we'll go with someone else compatible, because if we give up on that person, that shows to me at least, it just may not have been in His Ultimate Plan that we do not know or cannot know until our lives are over and we see how our lives have panned out. i think it is vital for to stand by who we chose and if the both of us make it work, and remain pure in the eyes of God, then i think it is a safe assumption to say, this is one I'm meant to be with.

i'm sorry for my argument with Adam and Eve. not on the lines that i was basically we cannot compare that situation with our situation today, for i do not apologize for that, and i hold true to that. but scripture dont' tell us that Adam asked for his partner, and i do apologize for putting that in there. i must have gotten into writing about this topic too much haha, because i certainly wasn't trying to add stuff to scripture to prove my point. i may be odd, but i'm not that odd, haha.

 

[Im_A]

for some reason, the normal view of soulmates doesn't sit right with me. the fact that someone will tell me the feel a driving spirit to be with me, and then go with someone else because they feel that with someone else? where's the choice? where's the personal free-will with chosing me? i take more into consideration with someone who says, "they love me" when they chose to be with me and no one else and to leave this part of God's Mystery as a Mystery. if it ends, pick up and move on again, but if it doesn't, we'd be in the happiest and best relationship of our lives. i'd rather be living in pure in the eyes of God for someone i chose, then not worrying about purity when i believe "oh we're soulmates, so it wont' matter if we fail." not saying everyone is like that, but i think it can be dangerous on that aspect to fall into. even on that issue, with someone i've chosen that i want to be with and fall in love with, if we were to struggle and fail in the physical area, i would rather be in that with someone who choses me, because we'll both, together seek forgivness and repentance, and try to not do it again, and if we keep on struggle, we go with Paul said and think that maybe marriage would be needed to sooner to remain pure in the eyes of God and run on faith with the awesomeness of being under the covenant of God.

i don't think there is a clear definition of soulmates. to many it will always be a different definition. i mean to each their own, and if they feel the soulmate in the sense of something driving them to be with someone, then i pray for God to bless it but i know i'm different God Bless you all!

plus i'm pretty set on the fact that sense salvation is for those who chose, i don't see any reason why love between a man and a woman would be any different from that.

 

[catch22]

Yeah, you choose salvation and that choice is saying that you're submitting your life to Christ. If you arbitrarily decide what to submit to Christ and what is for YOU YOU YOU to decide then I can see how some of you wouldn't believe in soulmates. Just consider this though; In each instance, it all comes back to YOU when it should all come back to God. If thats the case, then you haven't submitted that aspect of your life to Him.

 

[Glorianna]

Thanks for posting guys! I love reading your posts!

 

[Im_A]

Yeah, you choose salvation and that choice is saying that you're submitting your life to Christ. If you arbitrarily decide what to submit to Christ and what is for YOU YOU YOU to decide then I can see how some of you wouldn't believe in soulmates. Just consider this though; In each instance, it all comes back to YOU when it should all come back to God. If thats the case, then you haven't submitted that aspect of your life to Him.

your making an assumption catch22. you don't know our faiths at all!!! people that dont' believe in soulmates are not just focusing on themselves. learn to ask questions before you assume!

now in my defense as someone losing a lot of hope and trust in this NORMAL way of thinking soulmates.

can anyone quote me scripture to back soulmate up? i haven't seen any on any posts right? the only comparision that i've seen is Adam and Eve, and that was done in a PERFECT WORLD. a place that didn't have billions of people. a place of only animals and one human being and then God created Eve for Adam. it'd be easy to think they were soulmates because they were the only two!

now in my defense to say that it is all about me, me, me.

that is extremely wrong there catch22. if i was living for only myself, i wouldn't be a virgin as i am today! if i was living for myself, then i would go out to the bars and chose whoever i wanted to, too date, or i would go to churches and try to find myself a goody christian girl, because i have to be sure for MYSELF that i have to have a girl who is not of the "world."

no, i'm very picky about who i chose to give my heart too, Christian girl or not. i want a girl who has a heart for God, but is realistic about her faith and her life. i want a girl who is striving to be pure and holy with God in a relationship. i want the both of us, to know each other well enough, to know what desires are good in us, and to keep those desires protected from sin. honestly, it is me making choices in my life to live for God and for the desires and needs He has given to me for the betterment of my life while i'm on this earth, which just so happens to be that love is a big one. we're human beings created by Him with needs and desires. God's Ultimate Plan will be played out no matter what. I soley believe that since we have the choice of to live for God or not, then love, and relationships comes down to free-will choice, and if we CHOSE to live under God's holiness and purity, then God will bless those couples who strive for that. Christ said something very important. "We are nor promised tomorrow." so the very idea of soulmates, goes against the words of our blessed Savior. which is i long from God to constantly have a faith that is lived everyday. to lean on God to search out my desires in my own life to give Him the glory and praise and He deserves, and dare i say, to have a good life. as scriptures say, "Praise God with everything YOU do." God will bless us when we chose to seek after His rightesouness and holiness in a relationship with a girl. why is it so bad to think that if we seek goodness and holiness with a girl, that maybe God will bless us with marriage? how is that seeking me, me, me? and is it bad to seek desires that God has created in all of us? the need for love? the need for security? the need to not be alone all of our lives? the need to succeed? that's wrong to seek out? my opinion is, we should live in peace and honest with our faiths. know ourselves well enough to know what desires are good, and what desires we have to protect from sin coming in and messing everything up.

one more thing with God's Will. Christ said, "Go out make disciples" did He not? there's nothing about God having one person set out for us for the rest of our lives. Especially since Paul clearly has things to talk about concerning marriage. he talks about how men and women should be in marriage, and he talks about how it is better to not be married, but if one cannot keep pure with the other, then marriage is best because of being pure in the eyes of God.(that's a paraphrase of the verse. if don't know the verse, just ask, and i will give it through a post.) so i think that shows one major point. it is our choice, and God is not frowning on us if we chose to marry, as long as we are seeking His Will to dictate over our lives, and seeking purity and holiness with the girl or guy. actually i am sure God is please to see a couple in His holiness, and then creating a family and a life that worships Him. i cannot see how God would look down on that. i know for myself, i am not like the celibate priests. even though right now i am a virgin, i know myself well enough that my desires in me are one: God (i've had in my life since i was 12.) 2. Family (i have a great relationship with my mom and sister, so there's enough right there to make me happy.) 3. Love with a woman (which is something i'm seeking out now and giving it to God and running in blind faith.)

so catch22, i'm not meaning to come off as attacking you by any means. but i am coming out to my defense and maybe others here whom are Christians and whom are not satisifed with the way soulmates are defined amongst Christians and non-Christians alike. you don't know our faiths at all. you dont' know our lives or our convictions. so i would advise you, to please, don't make assumptions that we are living for me, me, me. ask questions, don't assume.

 

[the_man]

I disagree. Soulmates are very real. God would not haphazardy unite two people as one in marriage. I think the idea of compatibility is the dangerous one. Which of us is to say who is most compatible to be our spouse? Again, this takes God out of the equation. That's YOU judging whos best for you, and not God. It is only in Him that we can find the truth of these things.

No where in my posts did I say God will haphazardly unite two people. Some unions are not of God (He permits them, but they are not of God). And no where in my post did I take God out of the equation (if you read the entire post). Like tattedsaint said, you should stop making assumptions (read the entire posts for one).

In your search for anything on this earth, you ask God to guide you, you trust in the Lord and rely not on your own insight, God will lead you to His will in your life, but we have free will in our lives as well. (I described this in another thread as an adequate example of you being free to move about this earth, but the course of the earth is determined, I think our will vs God's will is similar). Sometimes God works his determined will in our lives, sometimes God works thru the free will he has given to us (for Christians, this usually looks like us using our free will to ask God to guide us).

But the problem I have with the soulmate theory is a few fold (some I have already mentioned). Another I did not mention was the fact that the soulmate theory works in an ideal world. That is, ideally, one grows up to marry one person that they are in love with and destined to be with for the rest of their lives. But this world, as we all know, is far from ideal. How do arranged marriages work? People that don't meet the person they are to marry until their wedding day? How about marrriages that end in a partner dying? If that partner remarries, which one was their soulmate? These are questions that are not being adressed by those that believe in soulmates. (Not that i'm trying to point out that you are wrong, but that I want to know how you would answer them...they are legitimate questions.)

 

[catch22]

God said He has the days of our lives planned out. Either you're asking him about His plan for you or your choosing your own path. Notice with all of the things you said you wanted, in the end it still came down to what YOU wanted. I hope you can see that. What about what God desires for you? Maybe the woman God wants you to marry is nothing like what you want but God will use her to strengthen your faith and hers.

I feel like I'm starting to repeat myself, so unless something new is brought to the table this is my final word on the subject.

 

[catch22]

No where in my posts did I say God will haphazardly unite two people. Some unions are not of God (He permits them, but they are not of God). And no where in my post did I take God out of the equation (if you read the entire post). Like tattedsaint said, you should stop making assumptions (read the entire posts for one).

In your search for anything on this earth, you ask God to guide you, you trust in the Lord and rely not on your own insight, God will lead you to His will in your life, but we have free will in our lives as well. (I described this in another thread as an adequate example of you being free to move about this earth, but the course of the earth is determined, I think our will vs God's will is similar). Sometimes God works his determined will in our lives, sometimes God works thru the free will he has given to us (for Christians, this usually looks like us using our free will to ask God to guide us).

But the problem I have with the soulmate theory is a few fold (some I have already mentioned). Another I did not mention was the fact that the soulmate theory works in an ideal world. That is, ideally, one grows up to marry one person that they are in love with and destined to be with for the rest of their lives. But this world, as we all know, is far from ideal. How do arranged marriages work? People that don't meet the person they are to marry until their wedding day? How about marrriages that end in a partner dying? If that partner remarries, which one was their soulmate? These are questions that are not being adressed by those that believe in soulmates. (Not that i'm trying to point out that you are wrong, but that I want to know how you would answer them...they are legitimate questions.)

Fair enough, I'll respond to this. First, I question how much free will some of us think we have. Particularly those of us who are Christ follower. Paul referred to himself as a slave of Christ.

With regards to the whole ideal world thing, it's our sinfulness and disobedience to God that makes this world imperfect. If everyone of us was perfectly obedient to God we would have a perfect world. As far as I know, there's nothing in Christianity about arranged marriages. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's another faith.

as for the question of who is who's soulmate in multiple marriages, I don't know. But I trust in God's faithfulness enough to know that He does.

 

[catch22]

I'm being convicted by the spirit to stop arguing with you all about this. I don't agree with you, but I know that what is happening here is against the character of Christ. I apologize and respectfully withdraw from this thread.