sorry *** Trigger ****

[Lily76_]

I thought i was doing good i thought if i pray for people or if i did something good id be forgiven
am evil and i should die

 

[Talihood]

what makes you say you are evil?

 

[Lily76_]

made my husband worry and upset him this morning all over food ( i have an eating disorder ) i went missing a month ago and ended up at the train station ready to jump on the tracks but i stopped myself from killing myself i went out the house today without my husband he had to get dressed so fast to stop me from going anywhere that was not safe for me to go
tonight i just feel like binging and purging after i said to him i didn't want to eat earlier on in the day


he'd be better off without me

 

[chaoticfirefly]

I can assure you that you are most definitely not evil. You're the furthest thing from it. You're hurting is all.

I don't know if you are already, but are you seeing a therapist or anything? If not, I highly recommend it. It can get tiring after awhile, sure, but it's quite helpful. Recovery is a slow and painful and frustrating path, but it's a good path.

 

[dysert]

I agree with Chaoticfirefly. Furthermore, how do you know your husband would be better off without you? Have you asked him? And even *if* that were true, there are better ways of fixing that problem than killing yourself. As my therapist once told me, "Don't fix a temporary problem with a permanent solution." Please start talking to a therapist.

 

[Jeshu]

made my husband worry and upset him this morning all over food ( i have an eating disorder ) i went missing a month ago and ended up at the train station ready to jump on the tracks but i stopped myself from killing myself i went out the house today without my husband he had to get dressed so fast to stop me from going anywhere that was not safe for me to go
tonight i just feel like binging and purging after i said to him i didn't want to eat earlier on in the day


he'd be better off without me

For years I was very sick and I used to think that my wife and children would be better off without me, now that I have become a lot better I can see that it were lies that I believed and that my wife and children would have hurt heaps if I would have killed myself.

Please seek help, things can improve again

Make sure that you are safe from yourself, suicide is a horrible way to go. It dumps your inner pain on everyone else who loves you.