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Most kids know how their parents feel about issues from the time they are old enough to talk.Gabe7 said:He probably knows how you feel about it
What agreement does she need to be in? He is 28, you don't think a 28 year old knows the difference between right and wrong?I would definitely call him and make sure that he knows that you are not in agreement with what is going on because God is not in agreement. Not just because values or anything else, but because it is sin, and the wages of sin is death. He must know the Truth, and the Truth will set him free.
But truthfully thats not your business....Its honestly not your concern you dont like your son's girlfriend at the end of the day its not you that is dating her. A parent has no business in a 28 year olds dating life that is between him her and God. But also now the girl pretty much knows what you think of her, let say they get married.........one day in the future if not sooner(he did take her to meet his parents) how do you think you and her relationship will be?Bain - Again, thank you for your thoughtful letter. You have wonderful insight and a lot of wisdom! I think I knew what I had to do when I first posted. I was a little in shock, a little hurt and a lot disappointed. I was looking for a shoulder, some comfort, and a lot of what you have said. I didn't think I would be chastised as I was. That didn't really help me a whole lot. Your words of wisdom have been some of the most helpful. I do see my son as an adult, and as an adult and a Christian I felt the need to confront him with what I found. I think I was also looking for some encouragement from fellow Christians. You were among the few that actually did have words of encouragement.
And actually, my husband did talk to our son. He says they are not sleeping together. I will take him at his word and leave it in God's hands to guide him in whatever decisions he makes about this woman. Thank you again, Bain for your kind and thoughtful words.
Exactly its not about what we see cause we can't see what God see's. Maybe that was actually God's will, maybe God sent you to her so she could get a peaceful sleep. Maybe your parents threw her and you off the path that the Lord wanted you and her to walk together. I feel sad for and your family. No sin goes unpunishedI am also 28, and I fell into the same situation, maybe she really was not the right person for me.
But she wanted someone to sleep with at night and I saw no harm, we were both clothed and I would only hold her at night, It happened a few times at my parents home, she would sneak into my room and just fall asleep in my arms.
The problem was that before that she had the most terrible time sleeping alone, she came from a big family and slept with siblings in the same bed all of her life however when she left for college insomnia kicked in and no pill was enough to help her, then she met me, it happened a bit quick, once she found that I was a decent guy and felt that I was the right one, she invited me to stay with her, and asked me if I would mind sharing a bed once I arrived at her place. I refused and slept on the couch, but she came out late in the night and explained her situation.
She crawled into the couch with me, nothing happened and from then on we slept in the same bed, she became happy, cheerful, she was able to sleep again. My parents took it completely the wrong way, and insisted that she sleep in the house while I slept outside in their motor home which was locked, my dad slept on the couch to make sure she wouldn't sneak out.
When we left my parents and relatives all began to advise me against seeing her any longer, eventually she left me she said she couldn't take it and more and if my parents refused to believe us we would need to separate.
We became friends, distant ones, she started to have trouble sleeping again and became a major insomniac, eventually she met another guy, she believed he was decent, however one night he took advantage, and following that he left her with a baby. She moved back in with her parents and they are helping her to raise the child.
This is not everyone's story but sometimes a girl just wants someone to hold at night to feel secure and safe, or even just to sleep, its funny how God made us that way, I have met quite a number women who feel that way in my life, sadly many of them are willing to give up their body to share this with a man.
The funny thing is that in our entire relationship we never kissed, we didn't feel that it was right to kiss until after we set our relationship in stone. While I may one day try to visit her and see if we can work things out after I finish college, that probably not something that will actually happen. She would like another chance with me, however I do not think my family would ever be willing to back down now that she has a son with another man.
I think you were right to question yourself, not everything is as it seems, while they are the rare cases sometimes to people really are just being innocent together.
xapiemom said:He brought her home to meet us over the weekend and it wasn't until I went to change the sheets in the guest rooms that I realized they were sleeping together because his bed was not slept in. I'm hurt and disappointed that (1) he's sleeping with her (2) he violated our home and values by sleeping with her here. That's part one of the problem.
If you believe in discretion about sexual activity, and keeping information private about what goes on in relationships, then not bringing up the topic with them would be respectful.I'd like to point out too that it may be best to take your son's words at face value.
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