Sometimes have an issue..

[HolyOne87]

Brief History: I had two relationships in the past where both said they loved me and in the end, both hurt me.

Today: I have a boyfriend, very much into helping out at church, praying, loves Christ, etc. He tells me he loves me. I do believe him, but i always have that intuition that I will be hurt again when I know in my heart I won't be because he's the type of guy who wouldn't do that. He said in the past, it has happened to him (getting cheated on, etc) and it hurts and he said he never wants to hurt me(and hasn't). In his eyes, I can tell he is telling the truth. But why can't i get myself to believe it more fully? Is it because I got hurt in the past? That i am afraid?

What do you think? I hope I made sense.

 

[K9_Trainer]

I've had the same thing happen. It's hard to get past, but you pretty much have to force yourself to do it, to put all that in the back of your mind and not let it get in the way of your current relationship.

Just try to think of the good things that can come from your new relationship as opposed to what could go wrong. He could be (or is if you already know!) the one, your soul mate, the man who will love you with all his heart and take care of you and protect you forever, the one you'll spend the rest of your life with, the father of your children. Constantly worrying about whether he's being true or not will only drive you crazy and lessen your happiness life. Just be positive and make yourself believe him, don't let doubting him be an option.

Hard to do, I know.

 

[katautumn]

HolyOne87, it's always difficult to trust after being hurt. Love is always a gamble. I found that with my husband, the best relationship is the one where you stand the most to lose. Love is a huge risk, but only you can determine whether a relationship is worth that risk or if you would prefer avoiding relationships out of fear of getting hurt.

 

[xmoongirlx]

Same thing happens to me, my boyfriend tells me the same, he was also cheated on, so he tells me he'll never do that to me because he knows how it feels, but it's just so hard for me to believe him., i don't know why, because I haven't had bad relationships, he's actually my second one and the first one I broke it off for good! So i don't understand that sometimes I wonder whether that's true or not, specially since we'll be going to be in a LDR in a year, I have all kind of thoughts.

In my opinion I believe I think the way I do, because of all the really bad things I've seen around, all the things that boyfriends do to their girlfriends who they LOVE.

But I just want to trust in him completely, cuz i want to be at ease. I prey to God everynight, to make those thoughts go away!

 

[Johnnz]

Inner hurts don't just 'go away'. Broken relationships and broken hearts need understanding and healing. God does not 'take away' the doubts that hurt people have. He is there to help you rebuild trust, identify and work through underlying issues, and to see you secure in your partner's love. We need to discover how to cooperate with J.esus in that process.

John
NZ