Sometimes..(2)

[JesusFreak2008]

Sometimes I just feel as though my world is caving in. I have been battling hypomania for many days, and just had my crash and burn today.

How can you trust God and have faith when all it seems to be doing is the same pattern over again.

Cocoa, Florida:

*Things going good: Oct 07 to Feb 08
*Evicted, need to find a place, FAST: Feb 08
* Ending up denied an apartment in Orlando, FL : Feb 08
*Driving up and down the East Coast trying to find a place to live: Feb 08
* A friend screwing us over in the middle of no where Stroudsburg, PA : Feb 08
* Being homeless on the streets of Fort Myers: Feb 08
* Jasons sinning father helping us

Fort Myers, Florida:

* Jason's dad molesting me : May 2008
*Jason being laid off from work: May 2008
* Battling finances : June 2008
* Work from home with Ameriplan: June 2008
*Getting screwed over by Ameriplan: June 2008
* Jasons dad homeless, giving him a place to stay: July 2008
*Jasons dad porn issues 24/7/365: July 2008
*Jasons dad kicking us to the street: August 2008
*Finding a place to live in 7 days: August 2008
*Getting jobs (all 3 of us) : September 2008
* Donald leaving with all our rent money after confrontation about stealing : September 2008
* Fired for instability in home life: September 2008


Trying to find a way...

Why would God test a person so much for them to believe and be thankful in him, trust in him, and then the next minute allow the devil to touch upon us, knowing that we would not be able to handle it?

Sometimes I don't know what faith is, I don't know if I have any at all, or what have I done wrong to God for him to punish me? How can you say that God loves you unconditionally, but is allowing his own children to be punished?

I just don't get it. Sometimes I just want to curl up into a ball and never come out. Then you have the people that live with their parents and get to live life easy, and rub it in your face, that makes me so mad sometimes..

Sometimes I just don't know..

 

[Soulwings]

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. - James 1:5-6. (NASB)

Love God, all you saints; God takes care of all who stay close to him... - Psalm 31:23. (The Message)

Consider it joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. - James 1:2-4.

...

I hope that some of those verses come in handy, love.

I don't know why you are going through and have gone through so much. It doesn't seem "fair," whatever "fair" may mean in this screwed up world of ours. Keep hanging in there... somewhere in the Bible it says that those who persevere through trials will be rewarded in the end (couldn't find the reference but I know I've read it before)... and you have definitely gone through trials. You are so much stronger than you realise. You really are. I don't know if I could have handled all of the stuff that you have gone through... but I know that it will get better. I don't know when and I don't know how, but if you keep faith in God, you will be rewarded by God Himself when the time comes, whether in this life or the next.

I'm here if you need me. Hehe, I'm glad that you posted another "Sometimes..." because it makes me feel like I'm not posting too much.