Sometime I feel I don't know how to make a really good confession

[Michie]

I see some people going to confession weekly. Barring mortal sins... I wonder how to make a good confession.

I'm still not really familar with the practice being a convert. I look over the list carefully & highlight what I feel I have committed & need help with.

But other than that, I really don't know what to say or do.

Seeing these people that go weekly I'm wondering if I'm missing something.

I know we aren't to be repeating ourselves constantly if we have been forgiven unless we committed the same sin again.

I know it's not good to be scrupulous.

I dunno, maybe it's just me. But I see these people that I know are very holy & I doubt they are committing mortal sin every week.

So I guess my question is how to you make a good & fruitful confession when mortal sins have not been committed?

 

[Rhamiel]

i am sorry, I wish i could help you
I have always just done the "laundry list" style of confession, and sometimes it leaves me feeling spiritualy empty
but feelings are not the be all end all,
just try your best and trust in the Lord to do the rest

 

[isabella1]

Michie, your not missing anything by not going weekly. I only go monthly. The Churches requirement is once a year.

If you want to do a search, there are several different types of "examination of conscience" booklets that may help you out, or there is another booklet "Confession" A Little Book for the Reluctant.

I am sure there are many others too.

Or you can just ask the Holy Spirit to show you what is needed of you to make a good confession.

Personally, how I know that I have made a good confession is, during confession I feel like prostrating myself on the floor in front of our Lord right there in the confessional, and my heart is aching because of my sins. But I am sure it is different for everyone. And the Holy Spirit moves each one of us how is best for our own soul. (and I know what some may think, so I will say this right now, my confession is not about emotionalism, thats not what I am talking about)

 

[JimR-OCDS]

A good examination of conscience is the pre-requisite, in making a good confession.

Examine yourself against the two commandments Jesus our Lord gave us, e.g., love the Lord God with your entire being, and your neighbor as yourself.

If you examine yourself against these two, you will have a good idea of where you failed, but also, will be able to provide your confessor with good information, so he can advise you.

Jim

 

[CIAagent11]

I see some people going to confession weekly. Barring mortal sins... I wonder how to make a good confession.

Making a confession includes trying to better one self.
If you don't have much to confess, that's because you did it right.
It is a sin to confess and keep going on with whay you confessed about.
I think having little to confess, it the optimal situation.
And confessing despite not having anything to confess about, well, thats just a personal preference.
Maybe those people have a need for confessing more minor sins.

 

[Davidnic]

I find this (link) and a spiritual journal are helpful if you have the time. Even if you just do it twice a week or so. Do the examen and record some insights into your journal.

Don't be too hard on yourself, the idea is to get a feeling for where you are strong and where you need help. Don't be over scrupulous and remember to record positive things from the day as well.

Also, it helps because even in the worst day...the reflection finds moments of beauty and joy.

It can be tricky to get a handle on...but worth the effort. It helps with confession and prayer life in general.

This practice helped me to learn to make good confessions. And also to know where I am weak and strong.

Sometimes there is not a lot to confess. But go to a regular priest and make it an opportunity to work on spiritual development. Because often even if not sins...there are things we can do better.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

People who go to regular confession are far more likely to be confessing venial sins. By confessing regularly, one becomes more attuned to those habitual sins which plague their lives.

Personally I like to think of confession not as a place where sins are forgiven (though they are)- but rather as a place where we gain the grace to keep fighting the fight in order to overcome sin, as well as to decrease in the inclination to sin, and further where we are given the grace to move toward deeper contrition of our sins. Sins are forgiven outside of confession (through lots of ways when we're talking about venial sins--and through an act of perfect contrition and a resolve to confess ASAP when we're talking about mortal sins)--but the only place where we gain the sacramental graces offered in confession are, well, in confession.

No we don't reconfess already confessed sins--but through regular confession light is shone more clearly on the dark recesses of our soul. Sin is like an onion (or an ogre) and is revealed and fought against layer by layer. There is always another layer of disorder there for us to fight against, and more wounds from which we must heal.

As always remember that feelings are irrelevant--the sacramental realities are true and effective whether you feel them or not.

Do you know the five things required to make a good confession?? Or the four qualities of true contrition?

 

[Michie]

Everything you are all saying I understand.

I think it's just me. There are times I go into the confessional & I feel I'm just rattling off a list. Makes me feel silly. Priest just nods & occasionally gives advice. Then penance.

I think seeing these other people just made me think I was missing something or doing something wrong.

I though that maybe some were using confession as a sort of Spiritual Director.

I've been Catholic for 4 years now & I still find confession baffling & mysterious.

I feel/know the benefits but thought maybe there was something I was missing somehow.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

We need to have at least imperfect contrition for the grace of confession to be effective...the four conditions of true contrition (which is either perfect or imperfect) are that it is:
1. Interior
2. Supernatural
3. Supreme
4. Universal


Sorrow is interior when it comes from our heart and not merely our lips.

Our sorrow is supernatural when with the help of God's grace, it arises from motives which spring from faith and not merely natural motives.

Our sorrow is supreme when we hate sin above every other evil, and are willing to endure any suffering rather than offend God int the future by sin.

Our sorrow is universal when we are sorry for every mortal sin which way may ever had the misfortune to commit.

The steps to a good confession are:
1. examine your conscience
2. be truly sorry (as outlined above)
3. have firm purpose of amendment
4. confess your sins
5 accept and carry out your penance.

The areas where we can falter, I think are in the areas of true contrition and in firm purpose of amendment.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

The chief qualities of a good confession are three: it must be humble, sincere, and entire.

 

[Michie]

Well I guess I'm fine then. *shrug*

I think this Lent is making me weird.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

Well I guess I'm fine then. *shrug*

I think this Lent is making me weird.

In my personal experience (whatever that's worth in it's anecdotal nature) is that so very, very much of faith is relying on our intellect-what we know to be true--even when we don't feel it. To believe in the effectiveness of grace, even when it's not readily apparent in our lives. It like the story of the Apostles in the boat as the storm is raging. They lose faith, because they forget the reality that Jesus is with them, because of their emotional responses to the storm...he's just sleeping in the boat..and at a word the torrent stops.

It's when catechesis and ongoing learning/studying about one's faith is so important--because it helps us to be rock solid in our knowledge of what is real and true, even when the storms or deserts in our lives challenge our belief in those realities.

 

[Davidnic]

Total side note with nothing to do with the thread but I thought Shannon and Michie would find this interesting. I am currently dealing with bookworm damage. I'm just finding it while doing another project...I don't have to "deal with it". Looks like it is long ago damage...not active ones.

 

[ZuZu]

I understand what Michie is saying (having been a convert)....plus the fact, the few times I went to confession after converting, the priest told me I was being too scrupulous. It was always something I struggled with having been used to just confessing to God during my prayer time.....and don't even get me started on my struggles with defining mortal and venial sins!

 

[Michie]

Total side note with nothing to do with the thread but I thought Shannon and Michie would find this interesting. I am currently dealing with bookworm damage. I'm just finding it while doing another project...I don't have to "deal with it". Looks like it is long ago damage...not active ones.

So will the books be restored?

I know thats tedious work.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

Total side note with nothing to do with the thread but I thought Shannon and Michie would find this interesting. I am currently dealing with bookworm damage. I'm just finding it while doing another project...I don't have to "deal with it". Looks like it is long ago damage...not active ones.

Is it to my total shame that I didn't know until you wrote that there were actual worms in regards to book worms.

 

[Michie]

I understand what Michie is saying (having been a convert)....plus the fact, the few times I went to confession after converting, the priest told me I was being too scrupulous. It was always something I struggled with having been used to just confessing to God during my prayer time.....and don't even get me started on my struggles with defining mortal and venial sins!

LOL! It does get confusing.

My problem is not so much that I don't know that the benefits are there. But second guessing myself. Was it a good confession?

Should I go more often?

What will I say if I haven't done anything mortal?

Should I be going over a list?

Should I wing it?

Etc., etc.

 

[Davidnic]

Is it to my total shame that I didn't know until you wrote that there were actual worms in regards to book worms.

It is a catch all for various insects. My guess on these is Trogium pulsatorium, the book louse. But one could be larvae of Xestobium rufovillosum, the death watch beetle...it is drilled from front to back cover in one hole. Then back again.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

I understand what Michie is saying (having been a convert)....plus the fact, the few times I went to confession after converting, the priest told me I was being too scrupulous. It was always something I struggled with having been used to just confessing to God during my prayer time.....and don't even get me started on my struggles with defining mortal and venial sins!

I am sorry for those struggles

It'd be more helpful if the priest actually instructed you how to make a good confession instead of just chastising you for making what he felt to be a poor confession.

Just remember that so, so very much of what we do is so dependent upon our intention. God is perfect Father who is also all knowing. HE knows how much we want and are trying to do the right thing...even if according to the letter of the law we're not. The heart with which we do things--especially with the motivation of trying to do things out of faith and for the love of God and neighbor...is so, so paramount.

 

[Davidnic]

LOL! It does get confusing.

My problem is not so much that I don't know that the benefits are there. But second guessing myself. Was it a good confession?

Should I go more often?

What will I say if I haven't done anything mortal?

Should I be going over a list?

Should I wing it?

Etc., etc.

Well I try to go to the same priest, just so if I have any struggles the background is known.

Let me give you an example. There was someone once I worked with who I really did not like. They did bad things...treated people badly. But outside of work they were a nice person.

I knew God loved them with an infinite love. But I had a hard time getting over being angry at how they were at work. And in a workplace there is always the temptation of gossip and making the situation worse.

I dealt with that in confession...even though it was not a sin. It was leading me in a direction I did not want to go in. So over a series of months I worked it all out and confession was a big help.