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Something that is troubling me

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middo

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Ok, i have started dating a chick that i really liked and am hoping that this will eventually, down the track, lead to marriage. Theres only one problem. Since ive started dating her its actually felt weird. I am having doubts about us, not through anything we have or havent done, just a feeling(perhaps not of my own if u get my drift) and now i am finding that i am still attracted to other chicks that i ahve in the past thought might be who i am meant to be with. I didnt feel like this before, its only since we've started going out. What do i do? This chick likes me a LOT and i still do definately like her and want to be with her, but i dont want these doubts or the attractions to the other women to persist? Help me
 

Lizzi4Christ

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Doubts are normal. I'm not going to sit here and say "Oh how awful!". I still find other guys attractive, even thought I've been dating my best friend for 13 months and completely in love with him.

When I find myself doubting, it always seems that something happens to remind me of him. And action takes place that reminds me something that he did, I see an object that reminds me of him, just SOMETHING happens and I remember how much I really love him.

If these doubts are really big, my suggestion is to stop dating her and try being best friends. I always say this to people. You should be best friends with the person you want to date/marry. She may not be the person you wanted to marry, but your best friend, the person who's always there.
 
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katelyn

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Attraction is normal, lingering on it is not a good idea however. Maybe you are not ready for the commitment of your relationship? I don't know how long you've been dating, but maybe you are thinking too far ahead too soon and it is making you nervous. I would say relax and try to build your relationship with this girl. Only through spending time with her and getting to know her better will your doubts be answered one way or another.
 
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JahRawks

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I agree with Lizzi, who happens to be my best friend attraction to other girls/guys is normal even in a dating relationship, but, don't dwell on it, it happens, I still find myself looking at a couple of girls from my church that I used to be attracted to a LOT, and it bothers me at the time, but only a little, because it's natural, just don't dwell on it, and I don't think it's too early for you to be thinking about marriage, it's always good to keep that in mind when your dating someone, cause you don't want to settle for something less than the best, and I know that's what I've found in Lizzi, now she gets the joy of waiting for me to buy the ring, and wonder when I'm gonna propose to her, just look for the one, and don't worry about, and don't dwell on other girls that you used to date, dwelling on it will destroy your relationship. Hope this helps God Bless-
Nathan
 
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middo

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and now its over. As much as i tried to convince myself she was not whom God wants me to marry, and so i ended it. I just knew as when i prayed about it i could tell, when i was with her i could tell. So yeah. I am happy to stay single for a while after that, no way do i wanna have to break up again, its to damaging
 
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slugwaterbug

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I'm sorry, I know that even though you have peace with the whole situation, it's still hard to break off a relationship. Hopefully you guys can still be good friends. How is she holding up? Look at the bright side, you don't have to worry about what to get her for Christmas anymore!
 
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middo

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thanks. I dont know how shes holding up. She didnt take it terribly well and it made me feel so low. I havent seen her since as we havent had anything to cross paths over. I will see her Friday night and ask how she is. I honestly see her as a good friend, but i dont know if she could just like me as that, as im pretty sure she'd fallen for me bigtime and was pretty sure God was telling her i was it. Its hard to argue against that as its saying she doesnt know when God is saying something.
Its tough, i am in no hurry to be in a relationship again as the next person i date i want to be CERTAIN its who God wants me to be with, i couldnt handle breaking another girls heart again and i dont too much like being the heart broken one either.
 
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