Someone Please Help Me!

[Thankful For Grace]

Dear Jason,

I have read all of your posts on this string, and it seems as if you truly desire to love and help your girlfriend, and also to learn Truth and follow God. The best thing you can do for your girlfriend, and also for yourself, is to spend a lot of time reading the NT and praying for wisdom, and for God's Will in this situation--then, when He tells you His Will, obeying Him.

Some things are obvious, and very clear. For example, from the Word, it is clear that any and all sexual activity outside of marriage is not God's Will for His children, so you can be sure that it is best for that to stop. I think you already know this, so I will not belabor the point.

As for the make-up and shorts--the Bible says that whatever is not of faith is of sin; therefore, each of us is responsible before God to do solely those things that fall within the framework of "faith" in our lives. Make-up, in and of itself, is not sin--but it can be sinful if women use it to attempt to cause men to lust after them. Each Christian woman knows, somewhere in her heart, if she is listening to God at all, where to draw the line on make-up. Short-shorts are not a good idea for any Christian woman, because they are provocative, and the Bible tells women to dress with modesty. This has nothing to do with any particular denomination, but with Godliness, in general.

Your girlfriend seems to be in conflict in her heart. I am not judging her in any way--just basing that comment on what you posted. If I were you, I would encourage her to follow the convictions of her heart and tell her that she is lovely to you and to God when she is true to what the Word of God and her own Christian conscience (enlightened by knowing the Word) tells her. She would not be questioning her apparel if she were not convicted about it, already.

You both are young people and young believers, and God loves you and is a patient Father. He knows you are learning, but He expects you to learn from His Word by reading it and obeying His revealed Will.

I am praying for you, both, as I am sure all of the other people who responded to you are.

Read the Word and obey God. He will give you the grace to do so, if you both truly belong to Him. It really is that simple. We make it hard because our flesh clashes with God's clearly revealed Will. Perfection is an eternal state that we will only reach when Christ returns to redeem our bodies--but we can be holy, by obeying God through the power of His indwelling Holy Spirit, because Jesus Christ died to redeem us from the consequences of the fall--both in this life and in eternal life. I am not saying we can be absolutely sinless on this earth, but we do have God's grace in our hearts to help us make the right choices each day, and in each situation

Blessings to you,
tfg

Okay, so lately my girlfriend has been having many issues with her relationship with God. I've been a Christian for 1 year now and my girlfriend has been a Christian for 2 years. She knows a lot more about God than I do and she has a better relationship than I.

But I need help, because my girlfriends been having trouble with her relationship with God. Every once and awhile she would regret something she has done because it was against God's Will/Her conviction. For example, she got into a depressive state over wearing short pants and make-up. She said it's against God's Will and she needs to give these things up for him. At first I couldn't see anything wrong with it, but I need to understand that this is indeed a sin and against God's Will. What do I tell her? I want to be helpful, I don't seem to ever have anything good to say. I don't know what advice to give her. I tell her she is a good person, because she thinks of God a lot! And she always thinks about what God would feel about it.

Well here's my biggest issue I am having and I hope someone can help me! I've been with my girlfriend for 3 months now. And we introduced the sexual-side(not sex) of the relationship. She seems perfectly opened to it and ready. However, after we are finished she feels like the most horrible person in the world. She says she betrayed God and she's not good enough for him. I said "That's not true, God forgives". Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with it! I love her, and she loves me. She want's the sexual relationship and so do I, but it's always after wards where she would enter the despressive and regretful state. I don't know what to tell her. I don't see why God would be against this, we're not having sex or anything. We love each other and because we expressed it in this way... is it truly against God's Will? I told her we won't do it anymore, but I wish I knew what to say in terms of what God would desire. Is God okay with this, or not? What do I tell her? She really is a good person and she beats herself over every mistake she makes. It's a great thing, she loves God, but everyone makes mistakes. I feel sometimes shes aiming for perfection. Someone please help!

I pray every night for an answer, I can't ask my friends because they don't know the will of God, and I'm too nervous to approach my pastor about this. I hope someone can help. Many Thanks!

 

[JasonMP]

Dear Jason,

I have read all of your posts on this string, and it seems as if you truly desire to love and help your girlfriend, and also to learn Truth and follow God. The best thing you can do for your girlfriend, and also for yourself, is to spend a lot of time reading the NT and praying for wisdom, and for God's Will in this situation--then, when He tells you His Will, obeying Him.

Some things are obvious, and very clear. For example, from the Word, it is clear that any and all sexual activity outside of marriage is not God's Will for His children, so you can be sure that it is best for that to stop. I think you already know this, so I will not belabor the point.

As for the make-up and shorts--the Bible says that whatever is not of faith is of sin; therefore, each of us is responsible before God to do solely those things that fall within the framework of "faith" in our lives. Make-up, in and of itself, is not sin--but it can be sinful if women use it to attempt to cause men to lust after them. Each Christian woman knows, somewhere in her heart, if she is listening to God at all, where to draw the line on make-up. Short-shorts are not a good idea for any Christian woman, because they are provocative, and the Bible tells women to dress with modesty. This has nothing to do with any particular denomination, but with Godliness, in general.

Your girlfriend seems to be in conflict in her heart. I am not judging her in any way--just basing that comment on what you posted. If I were you, I would encourage her to follow the convictions of her heart and tell her that she is lovely to you and to God when she is true to what the Word of God and her own Christian conscience (enlightened by knowing the Word) tells her. She would not be questioning her apparel if she were not convicted about it, already.

You both are young people and young believers, and God loves you and is a patient Father. He knows you are learning, but He expects you to learn from His Word by reading it and obeying His revealed Will.

I am praying for you, both, as I am sure all of the other people who responded to you are.

Read the Word and obey God. He will give you the grace to do so, if you both truly belong to Him. It really is that simple. We make it hard because our flesh clashes with God's clearly revealed Will. Perfection is an eternal state that we will only reach when Christ returns to redeem our bodies--but we can be holy, by obeying God through the power of His indwelling Holy Spirit, because Jesus Christ died to redeem us from the consequences of the fall--both in this life and in eternal life. I am not saying we can be absolutely sinless on this earth, but we do have God's grace in our hearts to help us make the right choices each day, and in each situation

Blessings to you,
tfg

Thank you so much! This is what I wanted to hear, God bless you. I will encourage her the best I can, and I want to be closer with God as well. Also thank you so much for having us in your prayers, that truly means so much to me!

 

[Thankful For Grace]

You are welcome, Sweetie. I don't think I told you anything you didn't already know in your heart--just outlined it for you so you could see it in black and white.

Still praying for you,

tfg

Thank you so much! This is what I wanted to hear, God bless you. I will encourage her the best I can, and I want to be closer with God as well. Also thank you so much for having us in your prayers, that truly means so much to me!

 

[ezeric]

"And with the whole make-up, it's hard for me to come up with an answer. I use to be just Christian and than she introduced me to Pentecostal. Now they have different twists and turns. I just don't see how make-up would be a sin. She told me in the bible God states not to mask your face. Because masking your face is telling God you're not happy with what he gave you. I mean, it makes sense and everything. I guess I'm just looking for a Non-Pentecostal answer and a Christian one. I told her there are many other ways to prove to God you love him rather than giving up on cosmetics. How do I support her on this? Because she can't seem to stop wearing make-up. What do I tell her when she does? How do I be the helpful person in her life? "

------------------

That is where the entire problem comes up in Christendom...

You started with simply JESUS and things were great.
Now you've joined Pentecostal and things changed.

Its not a pentecostal thing, baptist thing, catholic thing, lutheran thing

Its simply a JESUS thing.

Its supposed to be a relationship - you walking with GOD.
Other than that, legalism creeps in and that cuts you off of GRACE. (see Galatians 1)
(because its real pride to believe you can do it with your effort, or trying to live
to please GOD - so that in some way, you can save yourself and really don't need JESUS).

Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard? Galatians 3:5

-eric

 

[White_Wizard]

There are two issues here that need to be dealt with individually.

First, I'm not sure what religious background your girlfriend and you have, but there's a bit of religiosity going on with her. The point of Christianity is not to enforce strick amounts of rules, but to give one a personal relationship with Jesus. That being said, I think that the issue your girlfriend with wearing certain kinds of cloths is just a bit too overkill. The Bible encourage modesty from young women, but it is her heart that is truly the answer here. If she is not dressing to attract loads and loads of suitors but only occassionally feeling the need to dress and express herself, then she should be fine. She isn't putting on loads of make-up at a time either, is she? If she isn't dressing herself down to attract men out of lust or showing off herself solely for instant gratification, then she should be okay to wear make-up and the cloths you are describing.

Second, the Bible is clear about the issue of sex before marriage. I agree with what another has said. Don't rush into marriage solely for the sake of being with her. Give it time. It sounds as if the two of you are working well together and if it works out, perhaps the two of you can get married eventually. Sex outside of marriage is a sin though.