Someone Explain?

[Bjornke]

Hello All,

I know I never post on these forums much, and never in this section.

I was curious if anyone else experiences anything like this.

I've noticed that at times, I tend to dis-associate from the world and re-live past experiences in a dream-like manner for hours and when I finally come out of these "day-dreams" it feels as if It's only been 5 minutes, but when I look at the clock, it has in some cases been hours.

Often times I re-live the bad things, or the good things, only to be upset that those good times are never to be seen again.

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Also,

I'm not sure how physical and sexual abuse effect others, but for me it seems to have made it so I find refuge in women and form identities around them to best please their wants and desires and neglect my own self. But when I lose those friendships it's very hard on me.

I don't know if anyone else has this problem or not as well, and if they have ideas on how to deal with it?

 

[ForJesusChrist]

I do think about past experiences during class (when I should be paying attention), but never for hours on end.

Just like 5-10 minute intervals.

 

[LittleH]

I have the same problems that you describe. I can spend hours in this 'dream-like' state, re-living the various abusive traumas over and over. It is very confusing. I am exploring various forms of dissociation with my therapist. I have a very close friend with whom I am able to share pretty much everything that I would share with my therapist. Anyway, this friend believes that I may have DID. My therapist hasn't seen this entirely, so my friend is coming to part of my next therapy appointment to explain to both of us. There are different forms of dissociation, including spacing out and amnesia.

I feel like my sense of worth has been destroyed. It is very easy when forming relationships, with people we can trust, to behave in certain ways in order to please them. I think that abuse can make some people believe that they have to say/do anything to ensure that people continue to love them. Abuse affects people at their very core. Personally I struggle with relationships, with trusting people, with becoming too attached. I struggle with boundaries. I have never been taught any of this and my own boundaries were violated.

What do you mean by losing friendships? I'll be praying for you

 

[Johnnz]

Some degree of dissociation due to trauma is not uncommon. It is a way we protect ourselves. Sometimes it can be hidden memories, but it can also be individual 'personalities' with a life of their own. When the latter is the case gaps in daily life, or sudden changes in conversation, moods or even language can occur.

John
NZ