Somebody help me please

[headbangerdudess]

Yesterday I had a major breakdown at a dinner I went to. My parents acted like it was no big deal and were kind of snotty about it, and after they were mean, expected to pour my heart out. My friend called me and had to beg me not to burn or slash, and it was so hard not to. I hate my life so much, I wish I would die, I dont belong anywhere, and all I ever am is alone. I just cant take it anymore. I don't know what to do, I want to die so bad, I hate my life.

-Heather

 

[Rosa Mystica]

Headbanger,

Welcome to my world. When I was your age, I also felt like I didn't belong (I was the outkast all throughout elementary and junior high). I also come from a family where attitudes towards mental illness are negative to say the least. If you feel like you want to "burn or slash", then you need to get help. The desire to self-injure can be beat; I know ppl. who have done it. You can too. Btw, what do you mean by a "breakdown"?

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

Maybe you should find a good christian counseller who can help you with this. There are some counsellers who specialize in those things. God loves you. Life can be really hard some times. I've had some really difficult years too but there is hope. Don't give up.

 

[macandcheese]

Hi!
I have been through what you are going through....
PM me any time, i would love to talk to you! Is there an adult around you that you trust that you can tell these things to?
hang on...i will pray for you hon. like i said, pm me anytime!!!

ps. I just read your profile - i also want to be a psychologist, and i love photography!

 

[rene]

hi headbanger! I have been in the same place as you, feeling exactly the same way that you do. I used to cut myself and I have never received any help from my family because they have always made themselves blind to my problems. Believe me when I say that even though it seems like living is pointless, it's not. It helps me to remember that this time on earth is not for us, it is for God. What I mean is, this is our time to serve God and tell others of His love. He is preparing a perfect heaven for us and we will live there in everlasting peace. When our job is done on earth we will meet Him there. For now just hold tight and know that God has a plan for you, and that He will never give you more than you can handle. Stay strong!

 

[ribenaberry]

Hi Heather

I've been there too, so I know how you're feeling. I was the kid at school who was really quiet and worked hard, and so that made me the one that you didn't speak to if you ever wanted to have friends again, which made me even more withdrawn than I was. By the time I got to the end of my first year at uni I was self-harming and drinking a lot, but I guess I'm living proof that you can get through it. God loves you so much, and so do a lot of other people you've probably never met, and I'm sure people are praying for you when you have no idea who they are. I know it hurts, but if it's all you can do right now then just hold on, it will get better.

A picture came to me once while I was praying for a friend who was feeling like you are now, which might or might not help:
When you're walking and it's light you don't fall over because you can see where the obstacles are, but when it gets dark you can't see anything and fall over stuff. Be patient - just beacuse it's dark at the moment, that doesn't mean it won't get light again. Take really tiny steps while you're struggling to see which way to go, and pray that God will shine a light for you. He will make it light again for you.

I hope that helps a bit. I'll be praying for you. Feel free to PM or email me anytime if you need someone to talk to.

God Bless

Ellie
XxXxX

 

[cyberwing]

Yesterday I had a major breakdown at a dinner I went to. My parents acted like it was no big deal and were kind of snotty about it, and after they were mean, expected to pour my heart out. My friend called me and had to beg me not to burn or slash, and it was so hard not to. I hate my life so much, I wish I would die, I dont belong anywhere, and all I ever am is alone. I just cant take it anymore. I don't know what to do, I want to die so bad, I hate my life.

-Heather

{{{HUG}}} From one outcast to another welcome! I have always been the outcast!! Always was the misfit, the person no one 'got'. However, I have learned there was reason for that Heather. When God has you marked for great things, you WON'T fit in. The world will always reject you and plain 'not be able to figure you out!'

Heather, first thing you need to do is work on your personal, intimate relationship with Jesus. HE created you, HE knows the gifts and talents that lie hidden within you to bless the rest of us, His Body (other believers). You need to let Him show you WHO you really are! Jesus wants you to get this down in your spirit, fill your heart with the truth of who you really are. Let your Bridegroom love you and show you how HE sees you!
Take a look at this painting, "Through Whose Eyes" read what it says: www.christianforums.com/~cyberwing

Don't let the enemy(satan and his demons) tell you who you are, don't listen to the enemy at all! He is first a liar. Second understand he is out to kill you, steal from you, destroy you. JESUS says though in the next breath, HE comes to give you back your heart, your life and make it richer and more abundant. I am a witness Heather, HE will do this for you, if you will trust Him. Suddenly people calling you weird and 'out of it', etc. they won't matter because they do not see who you really are. JESUS does! HE understands you. HE longs to talk with you one on one. Not long repetitious prayers but talking, one friend to another!! Jesus longs to build a personal deep intimate relationship with you, in your heart!

Heather, if you can get your hands on the book "Waking the Dead" by John Eldredge, I recommend it highly. This is a great book and will help you see who you are in HIM.
If you want to talk or just vent, you send me a pm anytime. Okay? {{{HUGS}}} Hang in there Sister, we are in a time of great trial but also great moves of God!!
~Cyberwing

 

[Iddie4him]

Talking about not fitting in cyberwing,
my cb handle is black sheep.
Heather, If you need someone to chat with or bounce your frustrations off of, I'm around. God Bless you.