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Some Poems...

All4God09

No Greater Love
May 15, 2004
160
15
35
the beautiful Mile High City!
✟22,868.00
Faith
Catholic
Hey! I have some poems to share, and I'd appreciate feedback!

#1:

Silent Song
Can you feel it?

Somewhere,

Far beyond this earth,

There is something pulsating,

Sending its all powerful pulses all the way across nothing and infinity,

To you.



There is a heart,

A core,

The core of everything,

Beating,

Hard and steady and constant,

Never changing.

This heart is beating for you,

For you to feel and hear, even through your deafness.

This heart first ignited yours,

Back,

Way back,

Before even the stars shone,

There was this heart,

Creating your heart to be a beautiful, priceless reflection.





And,

Long before He told the stars to shine,

He told you to shine,

For Him,

Because he loved, loves, and will love you

Longer than time can live.

Yes,

He loves you more than even the mighty stars.

He gave you more power than even the stars,

And the power is deep in you,

Resting, growing, waiting for the day that its little flicker will become a blazing flame

Of love and hope and faith.



Long before time and place,

This heart was beating,

This fire was burning.

And long after

Time and place,

This heart will beat even still.

This fire will burn ever more.

Your heart can beat forever too.

Your fire can burn forever too,

If only you can pick out the ancient pulses,

Far quieter than any silence.

If only you can open your ears

To a new sound

That was,

Before any,

Singing out silence.



(just about listening to God)
~Go w/ God<><:pray:
 

Quixotic the Pedestrian

stop looking at me
Apr 17, 2004
191
7
44
Fort Worth TX
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Faith
Non-Denom
I think the concept was good. Some of the writing could have been improved.. that I'm sure comes with practice. With poetry it's important to be able to say things with images, and inuendos. For instance your line -- Longer than time can live. -- created the idea of time, and the seemingly unconnected verb to live. I enjoyed that line very much. And the ancient pulses was another use of nice imagery, but as for a critique goes I would prefer to see more of those. It was nice to see you didn't voyage under the overdone cliches like -- never changing as a rock --.
I'm not sure if you wanted feedback as a critique or the premise behind your poem. So I appologize had you just wanted us to discuss the subject



 
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