I believe homosexual behaviour , any particular sin, adultery or fornication is a private matter to the point where they really could have been called by God to lead churches. The gray areas are too large to narrow down who is doing what.
I don't think the PCUSA agrees with you that all sins are private matters when considering church officers. Obviously we don't have any sinless leaders. But it's a matter of degree. Character of leaders is an issue, because they need to be able to teach, and not look like hypocrites. For example, I'm reasonably sure our congregation wouldn't choose an elder who is openly in an adulterous relationship. Of course we might not know if it wasn't open. (I have, however, known pastors to say to a nominating committee, in confidence: "I would prefer not to state a reason, but I recommend not nominating X.")
What 10-A did was remove a fairly recent provision that had mandated standards for sexual sins. Removing it left it to the congregation and Session to decide, based on the totality of a person's life. Except when that standard was in effect, PCUSA judicial commissions have uniformly not permitted policies that try to define specific sins that are disqualifying. The position has always been that since we can't require sinlessness, the congregation should be in a position to judge a person's overall life and witness. However it's also quite clear that many congregations wouldn't choose someone who is in a homosexual relationship, is committing adultery, etc. But some congregations would choose gay officers. However while there is some variation in treatment of specific sins, I believe all congregations consider character to be an issue.
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