Some guidance?

[RobsGotMail]

I'm new to this forum, but I've been reading on here on and off for a number of years. Here goes:

I had a friend who showed me porn when I was only maybe 9 or 10, and until a few months ago (I'm 16 now), I had been completely hooked on it. Like in an uncontrollable way. I finally surrendered that (mostly - to the best of my abilities) to God a few months ago, and while I still fail sometimes, its definitely not NEARLY as bad of an issue as it was. Thank God for that. I still feel like it is effecting me. I'm not the least bit attracted to other guys or anything, but I don't have the same attraction for pretty girls that I used to. I'm hoping and praying that that is just God helping me wait for the woman he made for me. Any sort of comments that could help encourage me would be appreciated. You don't know how this bugs me sometimes

I've had some other issues along the way, but really the biggest thing I've ever had is where I am right now. For the past couple of years, I've been a bit of a prodigal son. Still in the church, still liking church, but not even really sure if God exists. Definitely not acting like it when I had the opportunity. I really want to get close to God again, and while I know the Bible and try to find time to worship and connect with Him every day, I have trouble with that. God feels really far away even though I know He isn't, and this kinda scares me.

I'm also a small group leader in my church and I've always been one of those nice appearing-to-have-it-all-together type people, and I know that a lot of the middle schoolers look up to me. I want to appear strong and set an example for them, but I don't know how without being close to God again.

I put this under 'serious stuff' because I'm feeling much better than I was last week, and this issue of feeling far from God is still making me feel almost crushed. Mentally and spiritually. Some encouragement and advice of how to get close in my relationship with Jesus again would be greatly appreciated.

 

[graciesings]

My dear brother in Christ,

You mention two separate problems here... I will try to treat them separately.

Also, I may edit some of this out pretty quickly... idk.

I'm new to this forum, but I've been reading on here on and off for a number of years. Here goes:

I had a friend who showed me porn when I was only maybe 9 or 10, and until a few months ago (I'm 16 now), I had been completely hooked on it. Like in an uncontrollable way. I finally surrendered that (mostly - to the best of my abilities) to God a few months ago, and while I still fail sometimes, its definitely not NEARLY as bad of an issue as it was. Thank God for that.

For starters, this friend is better to be avoided...

I understand the addiction to these things more than I want to... I will certainly be praying for you, it is hard. One thing I can say here, if it is any help, is that it is not worth feeling dirty... I don't know if you have this, but I always feel bad after I get into something like this... and thinking about that feeling beforehand often helps me stay back. I guess it's a good thing to feel condemned after looking at pornography... the more sensitive we are to the pain that comes from sin, the easier it is to avoid it.

If you ever need someone to listen, or distract you from temptation, message me... I don't mind. However, I understand that since I'm a girl I may not be any help. I recommend you post in this thread http://www.christianforums.com/t7753777-9/ to request access to the Men's forum... they have a forum for men struggling with pornography addiction, you would probably find it a helpful resource.

I still feel like it is affecting me. I'm not the least bit attracted to other guys or anything, but I don't have the same attraction for pretty girls that I used to. I'm hoping and praying that that is just God helping me wait for the woman he made for me. Any sort of comments that could help encourage me would be appreciated. You don't know how this bugs me sometimes.

This kind of makes sense to me... one of the problems with pornography is that it takes attention off people's personalities and focuses on purely physical aspects... I mean, in an ideal situation it is not a guy's body that attracts me, but his personality and face. Porn tries to replace that with another attraction... I have to say that am tempted by pornography, but this disgusts me. Also, afterwards, I wind up thinking about physical bodies much more and ignoring people's hearts.

I recommend you try very hard to focus on people's personalities. As homework: Take a week, and every time you meet someone, find one thing about them that is attractive and one thing in their character that is good. "Barb has beautiful, kind eyes, and a friendly personality. God blesses so many people through her." I think that focusing on who other people are... really, in their hearts... will help you put your focus in the right place. It will also help you to be attracted to the kind of girls you want to marry someday.

Find beauty in personalities... chances are, your wife will not have the perfect figure and flawless body of a porn star, so you will need to learn to find the beauty in who she really is.

I've had some other issues along the way, but really the biggest thing I've ever had is where I am right now. For the past couple of years, I've been a bit of a prodigal son. Still in the church, still liking church, but not even really sure if God exists. Definitely not acting like it when I had the opportunity. I really want to get close to God again, and while I know the Bible and try to find time to worship and connect with Him every day, I have trouble with that. God feels really far away even though I know He isn't, and this kinda scares me.

I'm also a small group leader in my church and I've always been one of those nice appearing-to-have-it-all-together type people, and I know that a lot of the middle schoolers look up to me. I want to appear strong and set an example for them, but I don't know how without being close to God again.

I put this under 'serious stuff' because I'm feeling much better than I was last week, and this issue of feeling far from God is still making me feel almost crushed. Mentally and spiritually. Some encouragement and advice of how to get close in my relationship with Jesus again would be greatly appreciated.

First, I want to say that we ALL go through "dry spells" in our faith. I have been in one lately. I don't know if this is just a "dry spell" or a more serious issue. One thing that I have learned is that, even when you don't feel God with you, He still hears your prayers. Pray that He will fill you with faith and help you through this. I also recommend you read some of the writings of various saints... many of them wrote, during dry periods in their faith, about how God was still being faithful and would fill them with the Spirit again some day, those writings often really touch me.

If you're doubting the existence of God, look up Lee Strobel and his books... I don't remember all the names, but "The Case For Christ" is one of them... they are good.

Three other books that I recommend to people are "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence, "The Well" by Mark Hall, and "Let Me Die in Ireland" by David Bercot. All three of these are books that have helped me grow spiritually.

And, as the oldest of 6 children, I feel you. It is tough to feel like you have to be the role model for younger kids.

My advice is to let them know what is going on. I don't mean in an extreme way, don't tell them God doesn't exist... but that your faith is in a dry period and that you need to stop and try to re-connect with God. Thing is, there's a good chance that at least a couple of these kids will go through the same thing one day. If you play "I'm filled with the Holy Spirit!" this whole time, they'll feel like they're all alone when they start doubting God's existence. It's better for you to be honest about your struggles with them, so they will know they can trust you with these things later. Also, you need to be honest with the adults in your church. I guarantee you that a number of them have had the same issue, and you need their support to get you through this.

I will be praying for you.

God bless you,
Gracie

 

[faroukfarouk]

Philippians 4.8 is a good verse to read.

 

[graciesings]

Philippians 4.8 is a good verse to read.

Yes it is... Since this is the teens forum, it would probably be better if you posted Philippians 4:8 on his profile instead of posting here?