socially awkward

[marinasdiamond]

Hey guys! So I recently accepted Christ back into my life and began going to this wonderful church-- there are tons of college students my age and I really want to be friends with them but I don't want to come off too strong/desperate, haha.

I guess I'll give you some background... I was home-schooled most of my life, so I know I'm pretty socially awkward. Lol. Everyone has been really accepting and friendly so far, but I've only been a couple times. I've sorta struggled with wanting to feel accepted for a long time/finding my place in the social world, etc... and that's gotten me into some bad relationships in the past. I'm lucky enough to have several genuinely good friends, but I let myself be influenced by some of the negative ones (which is partly why I stopped believing in God for a while) and I'm trying to kick some of the habits I got from them. Like cursing/using the Lord's name in vain constantly/coming off as sort of abrasive and in-your-face..... because coming back to God, I know that's not a very Christian way to act.

Idk, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm really nervous about making new friends here because these people seem really cool so far, and other than them I've only made one friend here. This is my first semester at a new university. Basically, I'm terrified, haha. I just want to make good friends and these people seem like Godly people-- but I'm afraid they'll think I'm weird/abrasive. I really wanna have a good group of friends but I've learned that if you just jump into that right away, you can get hurt. How do I handle this without coming off as weird? Am I overthinking this? lol

God bless! <3

 

[Krillin]

Hey guys! So I recently accepted Christ back into my life and began going to this wonderful church-- there are tons of college students my age and I really want to be friends with them but I don't want to come off too strong/desperate, haha.

I guess I'll give you some background... I was home-schooled most of my life, so I know I'm pretty socially awkward. Lol. Everyone has been really accepting and friendly so far, but I've only been a couple times. I've sorta struggled with wanting to feel accepted for a long time/finding my place in the social world, etc... and that's gotten me into some bad relationships in the past. I'm lucky enough to have several genuinely good friends, but I let myself be influenced by some of the negative ones (which is partly why I stopped believing in God for a while) and I'm trying to kick some of the habits I got from them. Like cursing/using the Lord's name in vain constantly/coming off as sort of abrasive and in-your-face..... because coming back to God, I know that's not a very Christian way to act.

Idk, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm really nervous about making new friends here because these people seem really cool so far, and other than them I've only made one friend here. This is my first semester at a new university. Basically, I'm terrified, haha. I just want to make good friends and these people seem like Godly people-- but I'm afraid they'll think I'm weird/abrasive. I really wanna have a good group of friends but I've learned that if you just jump into that right away, you can get hurt. How do I handle this without coming off as weird? Am I overthinking this? lol

God bless! <3

Being able to have made that one friend of yours is more than I have been able to do. I was never home schooled and i am as shy and awkward as they come. If you want some encouragement, read about Moses in the Bible. Some say he was extremely shy, others speculate he had a serious speech problem. Either way, it made him sort of an awkward person. However look at the great things God had used him for.

 

[motherprayer]

I'm socially awkward too. I understand and will pray for you!

 

[marinasdiamond]

That's awesome! I was actually thinking of reading about Moses today. That's kinda interesting that he was shy because I also have precognitive dreams sometimes (not really important ones like his, but still) like he did. Not that I'm comparing myself to Moses.

I just feel really lonely and I know I'm a social person. I love people, I always have. And people say I'm really friendly/nice but also weird... like Tina Fey/Steve Carrel weird (I guess awkward?). & a lot of people try to act that way to get attention these days for some reason, so I don't wanna come off as attention-starved either. Lol.

Alright, maybe I am over-thinking this. I also really wanna play for the church band but I'm terrified of that, too.

Why am I so nervous around people >.<

 

[marinasdiamond]

I'm socially awkward too. I understand and will pray for you!

Thank you, dear! it makes me feel better to talk on here. haha <3

 

[defeatedchristian]

That's awesome! I was actually thinking of reading about Moses today. That's kinda interesting that he was shy because I also have precognitive dreams sometimes (not really important ones like his, but still) like he did. Not that I'm comparing myself to Moses.

I just feel really lonely and I know I'm a social person. I love people, I always have. And people say I'm really friendly/nice but also weird... like Tina Fey/Steve Carrel weird (I guess awkward?). & a lot of people try to act that way to get attention these days for some reason, so I don't wanna come off as attention-starved either. Lol.

Alright, maybe I am over-thinking this. I also really wanna play for the church band but I'm terrified of that, too.

Why am I so nervous around people >.<

Tina Fey and Steve Carrel are both awesome, so you have nothing to be embarrassed over. You're probably over-thinking things. Just go out, be yourself and chances are, people will like you. Those that don't aren't worth your time!

 

[Krillin]

That's awesome! I was actually thinking of reading about Moses today. That's kinda interesting that he was shy because I also have precognitive dreams sometimes (not really important ones like his, but still) like he did. Not that I'm comparing myself to Moses.

I just feel really lonely and I know I'm a social person. I love people, I always have. And people say I'm really friendly/nice but also weird... like Tina Fey/Steve Carrel weird (I guess awkward?). & a lot of people try to act that way to get attention these days for some reason, so I don't wanna come off as attention-starved either. Lol.

Alright, maybe I am over-thinking this. I also really wanna play for the church band but I'm terrified of that, too.

Why am I so nervous around people >.<

A LOT of people this day in age are socially awkward. It could be due to the fact that a lot of our communication is either by texting or through sites like facebook. I've been slowly trying to confront situations that i find awkward as opposed to avoiding them - it's helping me come out of my shell.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I think some of us are this way. Its why at least for me I am on here. I prefer talking to people online because in person it just feels weird. That and I can't get the right words out in person because of my brain injury.

 

[The Fire Rises]

I, too, have struggled with the dreaded dilemna of social awkwardness. Granted I've made leaps and bounds of improvement since coming to Christ, but it's hard to forget the rather dark years of social isolation. It's not fun, as I'm sure we can all attest. Whoever brought up Moses, made an excellent point. The world saw the awkward, perhaps stuttering Moses who had a great fear of speaking in front of others. But God looked deeper than that. The world saw what Moses was, God saw what Moses could be. The world looks at the outside, God looks at the heart.

You know the old saying "It's what's on the inside that counts". And that definitely has some relevance here. But don't just be content with that truth and stop there. Yes, what's on the inside does count. But God wants to bring that out for others to see. A love for God won't do much good if it's bottled up inside where no one can see it. We are to strive to be examples for a broken and hurting world. Not, "holier than thou" people, simply fellow sinners who have accepted the wonderful truth that is Jesus and long to share it with others.

So all this to say, I really believe that as Christians, we have the most important job on earth, which is brining souls to Christ - The Great Comission. It's pretty hard to do that when we aren't willing/able to talk about our faith. Do not be surprised if God one day asks you to step out of your comfort zone - an act of trust. I've had to do so more than once, and while the experience itself did not always go as smoothly as I would have liked, He will never lead you astray.

Sure, the world is going to judge us or condemn us sometimes. That's going to whether we're Christians or not, it happens to all of us. Do not focus or obsess on other's opinions, on things below. Rather, focus on things above. The world may reject us, but the Father accepts us.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

first of all, think about what 'socially awkward' actually means - it means you are not an 'average' person - the 'average' person is someone who does not have a personal relationship with God (Mat 7:13, 14) - so being 'socially awkward' isn't all bad

i was shy for most of my life until i found out what it means to be 'humble' from God's perspective. God sees you as humble when you agree with Him about what He has said about you as a reborn believer. this may be hard to hear, but shyness is actually pride - a shy person is a proud person that simply doesn't see that they have anything to be proud about. pride is like a stick with two ends; on one end is arrogance, and on the other end is shyness. but if you focus on what God says about you instead of what you 'see' about yourself compared to others, you will be free from both arrogance and shyness, and your 'self-esteem' will yield to 'Christ-esteem'.

remember that you only need on Friend - God - and if you are friends with Him, then He will introduce you to His other friends...

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

Hey guys! So I recently accepted Christ back into my life and began going to this wonderful church-- there are tons of college students my age and I really want to be friends with them but I don't want to come off too strong/desperate, haha.

I guess I'll give you some background... I was home-schooled most of my life, so I know I'm pretty socially awkward. Lol. Everyone has been really accepting and friendly so far, but I've only been a couple times. I've sorta struggled with wanting to feel accepted for a long time/finding my place in the social world, etc... and that's gotten me into some bad relationships in the past. I'm lucky enough to have several genuinely good friends, but I let myself be influenced by some of the negative ones (which is partly why I stopped believing in God for a while) and I'm trying to kick some of the habits I got from them. Like cursing/using the Lord's name in vain constantly/coming off as sort of abrasive and in-your-face..... because coming back to God, I know that's not a very Christian way to act.

Idk, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm really nervous about making new friends here because these people seem really cool so far, and other than them I've only made one friend here. This is my first semester at a new university. Basically, I'm terrified, haha. I just want to make good friends and these people seem like Godly people-- but I'm afraid they'll think I'm weird/abrasive. I really wanna have a good group of friends but I've learned that if you just jump into that right away, you can get hurt. How do I handle this without coming off as weird? Am I overthinking this? lol

God bless! <3

Youll find yourself in the company of Unbelievers virtually everywhere you go , and as a committed CHristian, you should never have to feel like you have to apologize for talking, behaving, and living out your relationship with Christ. You don't have to shove it in others faces, but, you are not required to automatically switch off your Christian Walk while in their presence. In fact, Christ calls us to be a LIGHT on a Hill in a dark world for all to see ; that will sometimes come with persecution , ridicule , and disdain just as it did for Christ himself ....but don't worry about that because you will have Gods favor and youll be blessed for enduring such. The key is : If youre going to really be a devoted Follower of Christ , then we have to walk our talk so others see the genuineness in it. This will require constant discipline so others will see a difference in you for the glory of God.

What every Christian needs in their life is : To get in with some genuine faithful Followers of Christ and develop meaningful relationships with them. This can be obtained at local Churches to where you are staying at College , finding out where College Aged Single Christian Ministrys are at local churches (usually the larger ones), and, to investigate if there are any college on-site Christian Ministrys such as Intervarsity or Campus Crusade for Christ being the two largest Ministrys specifically devoted to the College Student. So, see if they are at your University , or nearby.

I leave you with this caution : The time when most Christian raised young Adults fall away from their Christian Faith/Walk is when they enter College because of the enormous worldly influences , the pressure that comes with intense studying , time commitments , and the non-stop pressuring from 'Friends' and our Mass Media to engage in sexual hedonism as an entitlement to now being on your Own . Its going to take a REAL commitment on your behalf to truly live out your Christianity and if you don't nurture your personal relationship with Christ, you are certain to become a casualty of consequences . I hope and pray that you can endure as the next 4 years at College you will be walking thru Mine Field after Mine Field . Blessings.

 

[Quasicentennial]

Accepting Jesus spiritually in my life was more than just Christian righteousness and miraculous healing in people's lives as I have watched often a couple of TV ministry programs such as Benny Hinn Ministries, Joyce Meyer Ministries. I always wondered about our positive future with Jesus Christ where our social level of communication could be far higher than we think is possible. I believe we will experience the freedom of communication that can be showed off on a psychic level where "mentally speaking to and seeing" one or more individuals can be done clearly without any confusion. It's like having an advanced mobile phone attached to your new mind of Christ when Jesus returns and transforms us.:
Comparing our limitation-affected Earth-born minds with the superior mind of Jesus Christ, is like comparing an animalistic cat's mind with an intelligent God-like alien. Jesus has a memory space or storage that is almost as huge as our universe because there is no record of his forgetting anybody's name during his life journey on Earth in the Word of God. You can experience your limitations of social activity when you discover that is not possible to know every Christian friend or church member, or remember when/where you had all of their conversations unless your memory is like a computer hard drive.:
Another interesting unique conversation feature is some kind of auto-correct method where your new mind of Christ will look ahead in the future and avoid any clumsy mistakes in saying the wrong word or making any murmuring "ums, ahhs or errs". It's definitely going to be a perfect social communication world inside our future-coming kingdom of God where Satan's sin-cause problem social attitudes and limitations will become a faded long-forgotten memory experience .;'*';.

 

[marinasdiamond]

Thank you guys so much. Your advice was really helpful I also heard a sermon today about being open with people with compassion and good deeds-- and that true Christians speak from the heart and through Jesus Christ. It's been such a change of perspective/heart for me because I feel like I used to think more like a Pharisee-- follow God's rules, believe in Him, and pray for non-believers because they're more unfortunate than you, and I'm realizing that that was an incredibly arrogant way to think. And then when I stopped believing, I even told myself it was okay to do things "to make me happy". I'm no better than anyone else, we're all socially awkward and weird sometimes, and what really matters is helping people be lead to good, and being a light in the world.
I've been really down on myself since that realization, to be honest... I feel so guilty for being scared to talk to people, but at the same time I realize it's because I'm too focused on self-image and scared of getting hurt.. it might be connected to relationships I've had in the past, because a few of them have been sort of controlling/critical, but I need to move past that and realize not everyone is like that. It's just scary. I don't want to be closed off anymore.

 

[manitouscott]

Yes I am socially awkward and often cause strange reactions in people when I open up to them.

Thank you for posting. I was sitting in my truck today trying to talk myself into going into this Sunday school class I have been trying to get the courage to go into for weeks. I opened up this forum and the first post I read was yours. Just knowing there are others that feel the way I do gave me the courage to just walk in and face fear. It was tough and unconfortable for awhile but I think it was OK and I learned a lot.

While I agree that a lot of insecurity comes from pride, I also know that He made each of us different and we are all at different stages of our walk. Sometimes people are just not as able to interact with others as those gregarious outgoing types who think "what's the big deal?"

thanks for your post.

 

[marinasdiamond]

I'm so glad I could help <3 This helped me to read, too