Socializing

[frenzy]

Do your anxiety issues cause you to have trouble socializing? Mine do. I have very few friends. I feel, socially, like I'm in a cage and the most I can do is stick my arms through, but I can't get out (completely be able to participate in relationships). I can't trust people enough to be really good friends with them. I long for friendship, but it's so hard for me and I'm so screwed up that a lot of the time I just feel like telling everyone to leave me alone. The easiest relationships for me are with my family, though with my family I don't really talk about how I feel. That's what I need friends for, but that's what I can't do.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I really don't have much of a problem talking to people and even hanging out with new people, but I can't seem to get past that superficial hanging out stage and into the friendships where you're actually close. Like where you actually call each other to talk on the phone. Anybody that I am that close to I tend to have met online.

 

[revivedinChrist]

I also have no trouble talking to new people, actually I'm quite talkative, but when it comes to speaking with authority figures, I get all clammy and nervous and I would stutter when answering questions, so some of my superiors would think that I am not very confident with my work.

and also, I have very few close friends. There is this group thing here in my country called a barkada; it's more of a "clique" than a group of good friends. I don't have that since I don't like depending on other people on where to go or having to wait for them all the time, so I tend to be close to a few people whom I could rely on and be a true friend with.

 

[Amhacajo]

There was a time in my life where I wasn't quite as bad as I am now but Social Anxiety Disorder (as they like to call it) affects my life to almost every degree. I had created so many avoidance behaviours in my life that I didn't even realise that that's what they were until last year. Not only do I have trouble socializing but also if I have to do anything 'new' or talk to people who are 'important'. The importance of that person varies to many degrees. Once I am familiar with situations and people then I really enjoy the company and the social aspect but that is where the catch 22 is. You must be sociable to be able to make friends in the first place.

For the thing that has helped is realising that I do have a problem and making more of an effort to talk to people at church and recently I participated in a small playgroup with some other mums which all helps towards gaining some confindence. Each day is a new day and I guess I gotta treat it that way. I think I am getting better but I do have a long way to go I think.

 

[ginanjooz]

My closest friends are the ones I grew up with at church. All my other friends I have managed to shut out through the years. I have trouble using the phone and I'm not the most reliable person when it comes to texting people back either. can't explain why, it just makes me nervous. When it comes to meeting new people on my own it's like I turn into a completely different person and I go really quiet and would rather that I was invisible. But if I have my close friends or family with me I am usually fine. All my friends from church are quite out there and open and they understand what's going on with me so they're pretty good when it comes to meeting new people and help me through it. But normally, I wouldn't dare go up and talk to someone on my will lol

 

[GodSpread]

my problem is, i have alot of friends but a few people i trust.
Because of the past problem of getting cheated again and again,
i would always want my friend to assure me that their friendship is real
and will keep testing them in different ways.

I would only keep people i trust around me.
this is my problem which i wanna change.
Since God is love, and his love is perfect,
we will also have to love everyone right?

and love also mean trusting in people.

 

[jamie4418]

I have trouble going out in public. It's getting better though.

 

[Jeff91199]

I usually have lots of trouble socializing, thanks to anxiety. If it's with someone I know and get along with, it's fine. But new people, groups of people, especially if they all know each other, is a whole 'nother thing.
I just walked out of a game night at church last night because during the dinner break, I couldn't really get into any conversations, and got sick of trying and being the only person who wasn't in a group of people.

 

[Jeff91199]

I usually have lots of trouble socializing, thanks to anxiety. If it's with someone I know and get along with, it's fine. But new people, groups of people, especially if they all know each other, is a whole 'nother thing.
I just walked out of a game night at church last night because during the dinner break, I couldn't really get into any conversations, and got sick of trying and being the only person who wasn't in a group of people.

 

[jamie4418]

Yeah, I know what you mean Jeff.

One thing I'm experimenting with is constantly smiling and laughing practice. I'm gonna do this for about 3 months, but really it's a lifestyle change because I believe it helps me to be more positive. I know it may sound simplistic, but I believe brain patterns CAN be changed.

 

[Jeff91199]

Thanks for understanding. How's that smiling practice coming along? This is one pattern I'd more than love to change.

 

[jamie4418]

It's going good It's actually just one of my many tools I'm using in my battle with anxiety and depression. For people who don't have a naturally sunny personality, it's so hard to develop on. Along with smiling and laughing practice, I'm eating healthy, exercising (very important), keeping my rooms clean, sleeping at regular times by using a sleep journal, and others. But those are the main ones.

People who have anxiety and depression and very sensitive. Regular people don't seem to have to worry about most of those things, while with us, it will affect us to a greater degree.

 

[DarkLegend28]

I have a lot of trouble being social or leaving the house or getting close to people who I know in person. But I realized that pushing that aside and doing stuff anyway and making myself get used to interaction makes me a little more confident with it and it has gotten a lot better.

 

[KRAMSTTIL]

I had many of the same problems when I was first told I had panic attacks 20+ years ago. At that time nobody I knew had any problems and this was a big secret I had to keep.

Over time I have found that so many people know so much more about this disorder. If the time is right I will just tell somebody that I have a problem with panic attacks. I have been amazed at the number of people who have told me:
1. they had the same problem
2. or they had a family member with the problem

This has been a freeing experience for me. I have let my big dark secret out of the bag and so now I don't have to worry if something happens when I am around this person. I would caution you to start slow and tell somebody you trust.

I have found most people don't even know......when I think it must be showing that I feel like I am going crazy.

good luck and God Bless

Mark