Socialization in children

[heart of peace]

I'd like to open a general thread to discuss socialization in children. I'll present some questions to get the thread going but the thread is open to head in any direction. As always, there should be respect for other's beliefs, no why the other person is doing things wrong posts. Instead, if you feel the need to counter a point brought up, it should be why you feel what you are doing is appropriate.

Some questions:

- How would you define a socially adjusted child?
- What do you consider "socialization" to mean?
- What are some ways a child can be socialized?
- Do you homeschool? If so, how do you afford the opportunity for your child(ren) to socialize? Are you always present when your child socializes?
- Do you have your child in instituional schooling? How are you able to assist your child in dealing with social issues that occur during the school day? How do you feel about your 5 - 7 year old having most of their social experiences outside of your presence?


I think that is a good base. I hope others are interested in this topic as I am.

 

[Neenie1]

- How would you define a socially adjusted child?

I think of a child that is pleasant to be around, one that is kind to others and respects them and their belongings. I'm sure there is more to it than that though, but just my thought in a nutshell.

- What do you consider "socialization" to mean? I really don't know, maybe someone who can cope with different social situations?


- What are some ways a child can be socialized?

By having opportunity to mix with people of all generations, not just their own, and be able to respect their thoughts and opinions. Also be able to speak up for their ideas.


- Do you homeschool? If so, how do you afford the opportunity for your child(ren) to socialize? Are you always present when your child socializes?

Don't homeschool. (I'm not against it though and reasonably open to the idea later on)


- Do you have your child in instituional schooling? How are you able to assist your child in dealing with social issues that occur during the school day?

We talk it out at home. I am involved in activities at the school (reading groups sporting groups etc.) so I know a little more about what goes on at the school with my child than if I didn't do these activities. But like I said, we do talk about it, he has had a few hard times with one of the children in his class being unkind to him and we talk about how he can deal with this situation and what he can say to this child.

How do you feel about your 5 - 7 year old having most of their social experiences outside of your presence?

Some days I don't think a lot about it, but other days I do think about it. I pray for him when he is at school that he will learn and enjoy his times at school. Although i do think he has a lot of social experiences with me too. Let's face it a trip to the shopping centre is a HUGE social experience ROFL.

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

- How would you define a socially adjusted child?
To me a socially adjusted child is one who can handle a variety of environments and a variety of different people i.e. different ages, races, etc.
- What do you consider "socialization" to mean?
Learning to function and behave appropriately in varied environments with a variety of people.
- What are some ways a child can be socialized?
Clubs, church, a trip to town, etc. Basically any time a child goes somewhere where other people are.
- Do you homeschool? Yes. If so, how do you afford the opportunity for your child(ren) to socialize? Apart from the everyday activities that we do with our kids i.e. running errands where they meet a variety of people, their main source of "socialization" is through church and a homeschool group. I'm sure that will expand as my children get older. Are you always present when your child socializes? No. My daughter participates in her church group alone.

 

[AnyaMa]

One of my favorite things to do, is to let them interact as much as possible in an adult like way. I let them pay the cashier, or ask the librarian where a certain book is, or hold the door open for a person going into a store, etc. It is simple but it has really helped them blossom.


I also do not think that all of these organized play dates and activities are necessary. Once a week is great (soccer or dance or something) but a "playdate" should be 2 or more kids, outside, with no parents butting in unless someone is about to be seriously injured.

 

[Leanna]

Let's bump this. I agree with what's been said so far. I would really like to see my kids be kind to their friends and think of others and not just themselves. I would like to see them be the type of people who wouldn't exclude one kid while playing with their other friends just to be cool-- even if it is typical kid behavior.

Although some of David's friends are going to school, some of his are not. I took care early to try to meet some other future homeschoolers because I didn't want all of his friends to go off to school.

I imagine that his socializing will look similar to what it does now, another mother and myself get together and our kids play. Sometimes several mothers and then it really gets crazy as each of us has 2+ children. We call that a "playdate."

I am always present when my kids socialize except at church where there is a nice children's program. David was also participating in a parent's day out program on Thursday mornings but I stopped putting him in when I witnessed something I was unhappy with as far as his assistant teacher was concerned. I may try again in the fall when he is older.

At this age I think its appropriate for me to be present when he socializes because he is just learning how to do so, but as he matures I will step back more and more. At this point when we are playing with other kids at a house they may all run upstairs and we let them go and just check on occasion (3 year olds can come up with some crazy ideas, so have to check when its quiet too) and help if there is difficulty.

We are going to be Charlotte Mason style homeschoolers, so that will afford plenty of time to meet with other kids and parents at the park for them to play.

 

[RedTulipMom]

Let's bump this. I agree with what's been said so far. I would really like to see my kids be kind to their friends and think of others and not just themselves. I would like to see them be the type of people who wouldn't exclude one kid while playing with their other friends just to be cool-- even if it is typical kid behavior.

Although some of David's friends are going to school, some of his are not. I took care early to try to meet some other future homeschoolers because I didn't want all of his friends to go off to school.

I imagine that his socializing will look similar to what it does now, another mother and myself get together and our kids play. Sometimes several mothers and then it really gets crazy as each of us has 2+ children. We call that a "playdate."

I am always present when my kids socialize except at church where there is a nice children's program. David was also participating in a parent's day out program on Thursday mornings but I stopped putting him in when I witnessed something I was unhappy with as far as his assistant teacher was concerned. I may try again in the fall when he is older.

At this age I think its appropriate for me to be present when he socializes because he is just learning how to do so, but as he matures I will step back more and more. At this point when we are playing with other kids at a house they may all run upstairs and we let them go and just check on occasion (3 year olds can come up with some crazy ideas, so have to check when its quiet too) and help if there is difficulty.

We are going to be Charlotte Mason style homeschoolers, so that will afford plenty of time to meet with other kids and parents at the park for them to play.

Hey Leanna....we are into Charlotte Mason as well. Have you read her Homeschooling Series (6 books)? I did SOME CM stuff with my oldest son, and plan on doing lots more CM stuff with the next two!

(sorry for the sidetrack of the thread)

 

[RedTulipMom]

- How would you define a socially adjusted child?
One whom isn't akward in social situations and is able to conversate with people of all ages
- What do you consider "socialization" to mean?
Being exposed to other people in different social situations like the park, the grocery store, the post office, playing with other kids etc
- What are some ways a child can be socialized?
playing with cousins, playing with kids at the park, sunday school, 4H club, homeschool gym group, band, sports teams, visiting relatives and friends, going shopping etc
- Do you homeschool? If so, how do you afford the opportunity for your child(ren) to socialize? Are you always present when your child socializes?
Well my oldest is now out of highschool and my younger two aren't in Kindergarten yet so i am at an in-between transition, but yes i did and will homeschool. My children socialize all the time. We bring them everywhere with us and they play with their cousins and at the park and go to church in the nursery and all that. No, i am not ALWAYS present when they socialize, especially not at church.

 

[heart of peace]

Thank you everyone for your replies. They are very interesting and all being duly noted. I'm not prepared to put any real thought into my own questions just yet so I will wait to respond to my own thread.

 

[Robinsegg]

- How would you define a socially adjusted child?

A socially adjusted child is one who can comfortable converse and interact with others, despite differences in age, race, position, social status, etc.

- What do you consider "socialization" to mean?

The process by which one prepares a child to interact with surrounding people.

- What are some ways a child can be socialized?

Imo, the ultimate socialization process is one of discipleship. The parent/primary caregiver takes the child into different situations. The child observes, mimmicks, and becomes comfortable in the places the adult takes him.
However, socialization can be gained in group settings as well, such as Bible clubs, Sunday School, play groups, sports/arts groups, and the like.

- Do you homeschool?

Yes.

If so, how do you afford the opportunity for your child(ren) to socialize?

They spend time with 3 different groups of children at church each week. Homeschool group usually once per week. Playdates. However, they also go nearly everywhere with me. Thus, I disciple them in how to deal with people at the grocery store, post office, neighborhood, etc. As they say, "more is 'caught' than 'taught'".

Are you always present when your child socializes?

No. I have always allowed them to go into church nursery from 1 month old w/o me supervising them. They may go to friends' houses w/o me. They may go to groups (such as SS or Bible club) w/o me. I can better disciple them through issues like bullies and peer pressure when I am present, however.
Rachel

 

[heart of peace]

I would define a socially adjusted child one who is able to understand and abide by social norms. However, if (s)he chose to go against social norms, that (s)he would have valid reasons for doing so and to be able to withstand the pressures faced by society for 'going against the grain'. Additionally, a socially adjusted child is one who is able to read body language and pick up on subtle cues being given by the other party and to use these cues in conjunction with what the person is saying. I also think it would include a child who is secure in his/her position and is not easily swayed but is able to be open to hearing differing points of view and to consider what he/she is hearing before completely rejecting it as rubbish.


I consider socialization to mean the process by which a human being is indoctrinated into the social norms of his/her surrounding environment. I'd also say it is the process by which one gains in Social Intelligence.

Children can be socialized in many many ways both formally and informally. Off the top of my head, Church, running errands with one's parents, playgroups, sports, schooling and quite simply watching the adults around them interact

I can't really respond on the last set of questions as we are not at the schooling stage.