So, what should really happen?

[Kirisutokyoo-shinja]

Women of the board, explain here how you would like to be approached by a man who is interested in you? This can be the ideal situation in your mind, but don't make it something unrealistic an all. Well I would like to think I am talking to the wrong crowd to suggest that I would get such responses, but just in case. Thank You.

 

[mina]

Well having never been approched by a guy that was interested in me (haha), what I would want is honesty. I would want a guy to be honest in his intentions and only approach me if he truly liked me and was truly interested in geting to know me better. Since it has never happened, I guess no guy has ever been truly interested. sigh.

 

[Injured Soldier]

Don't say that mina. I've been interested in plenty of girls in my life. How many have I approached? Maybe 13. Last one was three years ago. Even if I met a girl I fell head over heels for tomorrow, I wouldn't ask her out because I know what her answer would be. And the more beautiful, intelligent, and great personality the girl has, the less likely I'm going to think I have a chance. So maybe you're too pretty, smart, kind for your own good! OK, that was a joke in bad taste. Seriously mina, I can't figure out why a guy hasn't approached you. Your posts indicate that you're such a down to earth and smart girl.

KS, I'm not a woman, but we could listen to personal anecdotes about how girls would like to be approached, but when it comes down to it if a girl likes a guy, he'd have to be pretty messed up in the head to approach her the wrong way. And if she doesn't like him, even the most suave and perfect approach will get a polite rejection. So maybe the question should be are you the type of guy girls like?

 

[Kirisutokyoo-shinja]

I am. I believe I am very likeable (sp), considerate, nice, respectful, and interesting.

 

[Living4Him03]

Don't say that mina. I've been interested in plenty of girls in my life. How many have I approached? Maybe 13. Last one was three years ago. Even if I met a girl I fell head over heels for tomorrow, I wouldn't ask her out because I know what her answer would be. And the more beautiful, intelligent, and great personality the girl has, the less likely I'm going to think I have a chance. So maybe you're too pretty, smart, kind for your own good! OK, that was a joke in bad taste. Seriously mina, I can't figure out why a guy hasn't approached you. Your posts indicate that you're such a down to earth and smart girl.

KS, I'm not a woman, but we could listen to personal anecdotes about how girls would like to be approached, but when it comes down to it if a girl likes a guy, he'd have to be pretty messed up in the head to approach her the wrong way. And if she doesn't like him, even the most suave and perfect approach will get a polite rejection. So maybe the question should be are you the type of guy girls like?

Actually, it DOES matter! Yes, she may accept the offer either way because she likes you...but what kind of decent guy doesn't care how he asks a girl out? If she's really special maybe he wants to plan some special way of asking her out! Find out what she likes to do or things she is interested in and do something to surprise her. Even a rose with a little note, her favorite candy, or hiding a little gift for her somewhere where she'll find it with instructions to meet you at a coffee shop...something like that! Depends on what she likes. Hope that helps!

 

[Learnin'2-4Give]

Well, here's my 2 cents.....

Now, keep in mind, that in the long run, this relationship did not turn out well, but it certainly had a great beginning and this guy will always hold a very special part in my heart....... That being said, here is what happened. It's actually very simple!

I went to school from 4th grade all the way through high school. I was never interested in him in the slightest all through this time, or he in me. Twenty-five years pass and our eyes met across a crowded room (ya---I know it's a cliche--but that's how it began!). He kind of smiled at me, and I kind of smiled back and about 15 minutes later, he came over and sat at my table across from me. (This was at a church fund-raiser brunch). I felt zero pressure--as a matter of fact, the whole time I was sitting there, I kept thinking, "He should date my best friend. I wonder how I could arrange that......hmmmmm...." We talked for probably a half hour about church and other important things and then he left and I went home. Funny thing is though, that when I got home, I just couldn't stop thinking about him.

I just couldn't believe that this talk with an old friend from childhood could be anything.....yet, I couldn't get him off my mind. I even wrote a friend of mine about him.

Five weeks later, he called me and wanted to know if I wanted to go out for a pizza 'cause he was bored, and I said, "you mean, like a date???!" and he said, "Well, ya!" So, we went out and had the greatest date!

It was a slow build. He wasn't overly eager. He just let 5 weeks go by and then called. I was so thrilled that he called! I probably wouldn't have been if he had called a lot sooner. By then, I had had plenty of time to "mull it over".

I asked him if it was hard for him to call me and he said, "No. I just figured that the worse thing you could say was, 'no' and I thought I should just give it a try!"

--Learnin'

 

[stubbornkelly]

Hmm. Do I know him or not?

If I don't know him, and he just saw me somewhere, I'd probably be disinclined to respond unless he was responding to something like a book I was reading or something. If someone wants to get to know me or go out just because he likes the way I look, I'd have to wonder what his values were. I can understand appreciating someone's looks, but what on earth could possess you to approach someone just because they were good-looking (not that that would be the reason anyone would approach me anyway LOL)? You know nothing about them! Now, if it were that something else drew them in, like a book I had (as I mentioned), that'd be fine with me. You know, "hey, "Skinny Legs and All" - great book!" Maybe we'd strike up a conversation, and that would be cool with me.

If I knew him . . . you know, you can't really beat "Kelly, would you like to go out sometime, just the two of us?"

Note: It's far easier to say what would absolutely turn me off than what would turn me on, so to speak, as it were. That's probably true for most of us.

 

[Lexi]

I think this works pretty well, "*walk up to the gal* *smiles* Hi! I'm soandso (if she doesn't know ya). I've noticed you around and wanted to get to know you better, do you want to go out for pizza and a movie sometime? How does Saturday sound?"

 

[Kirisutokyoo-shinja]

Thanks for the responses.

Considerate from the viewpoint that you know the guy. There have been a few responses directed at that so far.

 

[beetlequeendiva]

Women of the board, explain here how you would like to be approached by a man who is interested in you? This can be the ideal situation in your mind, but don't make it something unrealistic an all. Well I would like to think I am talking to the wrong crowd to suggest that I would get such responses, but just in case. Thank You.

Personally I would prefer a man who made an effort to be my friend first.... love has to stem from something

 

[Kaylynn]

Hmmm, I'm old fashioned in the sense that I would love it if a guy were to approach my father first and let him know the intentions he had towards me. Because first off, I would never date someone my family did not approve of...my family means far too much to me. Secondly, I don't want to date just to date....I'm at the point in my life where I'm really looking forward to settling down and getting married, so if the guy was interested in me...I agree with beetlequeendiva that I would want him to make an effort to be my friend first...because I wouldn't ever date someone, I couldn't see myself marrying. *shrugs* I dunno

 

[JPPT1974]

Well, first if he is interested in you but you aren't interested in him right away as he is, take it easy and be a friend first and make sure that you both take the time and get to each each other thoroughlly and intimately and see where the friendship would be anymore than that. I am an old-fashioned person myself because to me marriage is a one shot and once in a lifetime and do it right first and foremost right.

 

[wvmtnkid]

I agree with the friends first philosophy. Do stuff to get to know each other. Since we already know each other, I would want him to make the first move and just simply ask me to go do something together, like go for coffee, or out to dinner or do something active-like play racquetball or go for a hike. Something that we would have a chance to talk and get to know each other more. It doesn't always have to be something I enjoy doing, because part of the fun of getting to know someone is being opened up to new interests that they may have that I don't.

Is that what you are looking for?

 

[Kirisutokyoo-shinja]

Yes. That is kool. Thanks.