So shy...

[dayhiker]

miss-a,
I got over my shyness by intentionally talking. I had to learn to say something. I'd plan some sort of greeting. Then just say it. If I got a response I then could usually keep a conversation going. But sometimes I can't think of anything to say. Now I just say, I can't think of anything to say. Other times, I can't think of what to say. So I think about it and then go back to the person and I was thinking about what we were talking about. Seems to me ....
These tings have helped me manage and then get over my shyness.

Okay. Here's the thing. I think I'm that woman. Not literally, but figuratively. I'm very interessted in the guy at my church, but in struggling to overcome my own shyness, I realize I act with the guy who has paid some attention to me, just the same way this woman is acting with you. I say as much as my shyness will allow, polite and touching base, then I run off, too stinking shy to just stand there and have a conversation. And I think he has a dose of this too, but no anywhere near as much as I do. I think checking in with her any way you can and letting her know that you would like to have some time to get to know each other would be great. I also think it would be best to have something in mind as to when and where you would do that, like getting together after a theater event, rehearsal or something. That way it doesn't get left as a "We'll do it sometime." Suggest a time.

Caveat: this message has been approved by miss-a who is desperately sick of her shyness and is currently trying very hard to step out of it. (I even dared to post my pic on my profile finally.) I'm just sick of being the incredible shrinking woman. There's nothing wrong with fellowship and trying to get to know someone. I've made a commitment to stop acting shy even when I feel it. so at this point I'm very biased toward stepping out of shyness. Pray for me! I'll be praying for you as well.

a

 

[If Not For Grace]

How about a single rose given to her (after performance) If you chicken out, break off the stem and wear it yourself "a rose for a rose" isn't that rather customary for theater performances-she can have one to add to her bouquet

 

[miss-a]

miss-a,
I got over my shyness by intentionally talking. I had to learn to say something. I'd plan some sort of greeting. Then just say it. If I got a response I then could usually keep a conversation going. But sometimes I can't think of anything to say. Now I just say, I can't think of anything to say. Other times, I can't think of what to say. So I think about it and then go back to the person and I was thinking about what we were talking about. Seems to me ....
These tings have helped me manage and then get over my shyness.

Thanks Dayhiker,

That's good advice. Honesty is the way to go, rather than trying to look cool. I'm trying so hard to cooperate with the Lord and move out of this. It's good to hear your testimony. thanks so much,
a

 

[sparkydave]

Oh, happy day! I'm meeting up with her for lunch on Sunday!

 

[Life2Christ]

Hey that's great...let us know how it goes.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Oh, happy day! I'm meeting up with her for lunch on Sunday!

Yay!!!! Can't wait to hear all about it!

 

[power2theweak]

Oh, happy day! I'm meeting up with her for lunch on Sunday!

Congrats!!! Have fun!

 

[dayhiker]

Sweet ... relax, enjoy your time together. Maybe have 2 or 3 general topics or stories about your life to tell her.

 

[miss-a]

Excellent news!

 

[sparkydave]

We had a nice lunch and talked for over an hour. The distinct vibe I get is it was more of a platonic "I'd like to know more about you since I barely know you" than a date, but I don't mind. It still went well, she's got a good sense of humor. She explained that she didn't know me that well even though we've seen each other of and on for a few years, but was looking to hang out with more people.

I think the faux pas on my part was I mentioned one of my resolutions was to go on at least one date this year, and said she may have done me a favor. She laughed a little and said "no, I didn't". I think that was supposed to mean that she would like to be friends. Oops. Perhaps I misinterpreted her intentions. My foot needs a little salt to go with it.

Still, she did say she'd give me a call the next time she goes to karaoke when I suggested we should go sing some on a night she's available. Even if she insists she didn't do me the favor I was thinking of, I still think it was a positive experience. I asked a lady out to lunch, she said yes, we had a delightful time despite a possible faux pas (which I learned something from), I'm more at ease talking to her, and I made a new friend.

 

[miss-a]

Well, Dave, I think you did great and I suspect the "faux pas" was not a big deal to her. Many folks now practice the importance of getting to be friends first, and she may be doing that because then if it progresses to romance, a solid foundation has been built. Whirlwind romances can be fun and exciting at first, but they are often wobbly and can come crashing down. Friendships can be built gradually and give both parties a firm footing that can lead down the path to romance. So, this is excellent. She wants to see you again. Totally cool!

 

[dayhiker]

An excellent case for being friends 1st miss-a

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

my husband and I were good friends first...for about 2 months before we actually "dated" although we went to single's bible studies together so.......